"For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood; but against principalities and powers, against the rulers of the world of this darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in the high places." (Ephesians 6:12)

Month of Mary

Just a little food for thought before May is over...
The following is taken from the May 2012 Magnificat and is by Heather King:

"At the cross her station keeping/ Stood the mournful Mother weeping/ Close to Jesus at the last." Thus runs the thirteenth-century Latin hymn known as the Stabat Mater: "The mother was standing."

Still standing.  Through giving birth in a stable: still standing.  Through a prophecy that her heart would be pieced by a sword: still standing.  Through watching from the foot of the cross as her Son was totured to death: still standing.  In the three to fifteen years she purportedly lived after Christ died: still standing, still believing, still finding joy and meaning.

Mary, who probably couldn't read but who took care of the baby and cooked the meals, is our greatest saint.  To be a mother is to stretch yourself as far as you can possibly go.  It is to say, There! That is everything I have; that is my blood, my heart, my bone marrow.  And it is then to be called to give in yet a different way, a different direction.  Just when the mother wants to rest, she is called to more openness of heart, more self-emptying, more patience, more work, more letting go, more love....

Mary knew better than anyone, next to Christ himself, the suffering of the cross.  For a mother to witness the brutal execution of an innocent Son- the fruit of her deepest procreative urge, the object of her most profound self-giving- is perhaps the most excruciating form of suffering a woman can endure.  A mother would die for her child, Mary watched her child die for her.

"Mary was the Mother Incarnate and her sacrifice was quite simply the complete acceptance of that which happened to her Son, which meant the death of every shred of possessiveness,"  writes Dante scholar Helen M. Luke.

The death of possessiveness; the birth of God.  "My soul doth magnify the Lord," Mary sang, heavy with child, as she journeyed to visit her cousin Elizabeth in "the hill country."  What simplicity.  What confidence.  What humility.  What purity-for in order to magnify God, you have to become transparent yourself. 

We are all so afraid of falling through the cracks, of being forgotten, of aging, of dying.  But if you don't want to be forgotten, we learn from Mary, value your soul more than success or riches or fame.  Serve Christ instead of yourself.  Become a model of creative suffering, patient endurance, and the erotic urge channeled, contained, and focused into a white-hot flame.

For purity endures. It is Mary who is venerated throughout the world, from the lowest places to the highest, not Cleopatra.  It is Mary to whom we pray the rosary, not Marilyn Monroe.  It is Mary we appeal to for help, for comfort, for solace, for understanding, not Salome.

Every follower of Christ spends a long "December"- maybe many Decembers - in a stable.  But May means to burst, with Mary, ever Virgin, into our fullest, most fecund flower.--

One in a Million!

Hey Everyone!

For those who have not heard yet, my brothers officially have a diagnosis! After over 21 years, we are finally starting to get some answers!

To find out more... Check out this link: Luckiest Family

Have a blessed day!

Holy Saturday

Holy Saturday has always been a rather weird day for me.

Jesus is dead and buried, but we know He's going to rise on Sunday. So you feel somber but also excited for the next day. You feel weird doing an Easter Egg hunt, but also know that the pain has ended (and it just works out better time-wise that way). I make my mom's Easter bread to get ready for Sunday, but am not sure if I should watch a movie while doing it. After all, Lent's done. The 40 days are spent, right? Usually end up watching something "God-ish" by way of merging the two. After that I'm not sure what to do. Mostly, I feel like I'm waiting for something. Which I am. But what to do in the mean time? Most years... yard work.

Just a weird day. Why put it in there?

This year, however, I understand.

My husband and I miscarried our 3rd baby a couple weeks ago. And what I felt after we found out, I still do not understand. I was sad that our baby was gone. In fact, by the time we found out, they figure the baby had been dead for at least a week. But, being of faith, I knew that our baby was in Heaven, happier than anyone around me. But I wasn't ready for that. I couldn't focus yet on our risen little one. I needed time to feel confused and mourn. His death was complete, I just had the effects to deal with. I knew that I would soon feel better, feel his prayers for myself and my family working in my life. I just needed time.

I needed a Holy Saturday.

“Most of us love a non-self, or something extrinsic and apart from our inner life; but a mother's love during the time she is a flesh-and-blood ciborium is not for a non-self but for one that is her very self, a perfect example of charity and love which hardly perceives a separation. Motherhood then becomes a kind of priesthood. She brings God to man by preparing the flesh in which the soul will be implanted; she brings man to God in offering the child back again to the Creator.”
 

Fulton J. Sheen, Life Is Worth Living

One door closes, another opens...

After listing our condo for over three months without any offers or leads, we've decided to stay put. Our plan is to save up for a down payment and pay down our current loan, so that we could hopefully be ready to move in 1.5 to 2 years.

Although I was surprised that our beautiful little home did not sell, this was one of those experiences were God clearly gave us a red light. We did our part-- made the upgrades, kept things tidy, escaped for the many ( many) showings. We submitted our offer on our desired home and sent in all of the paperwork that was needed. Our plan to move was in His hands and the outcome was definitely out of our control.

There is something very peaceful about events where God clearly opens or closes the door. The situation sets us up to trust in His plan.

On the other hand, there are many areas of my life that would be much simpler if I could just let go. Yet, for some reason I resist him, often kicking and screaming at the same time. I make life more complicated. Dominic skips his nap and I turn into a grouch. Gabriel wakes up every hour and I let it out on My husband or a friend. I forget that all these small everyday occurrences are also from God, and thus need to be accepted peacefully. (and yes, if you haven't noticed, a lot of my frustration is rooted in my children's inability to sleep). Sometimes it is because my will is not uniform with His, but more often it is because I fail to trust. He knows what is best!

I love lent because it truly is a season to simplify things. It is like a spiritual, mental and physical housecleaning that helps me to focus on what is important. It is time to get rid of that clutter that complicates my life, and put the nitty gritty of my days entirely in his hands. Maybe things won't be as crystal clear as a house sale, job offer, or new baby. But every minute brings an opportunity to grow in grace by accepting our situation, or fighting it. And perhaps one day I will learn to let it be.