So doing this dress dare has had an effect on me in a lot of ways. One of the ways I was not expecting is some sadness after talking with a lot of women about the whole subject of women encouraging other women to wear skirts.
I have had many, many conversations with (mostly) other women about the dress dare. And I've been surprised to discover a lot of deep feelings and often hurt feelings. Basically the hurt comes from women who have been told (or think they are being told) that even though they wear very modest pants, that if they were *really* Catholic/faithful/pious they would wear skirts instead. So they feel put down, hurt, judged, and some even end up going to confession with the "sin" of wearing pants.
Now, just to be clear - I believe I can speak for everyone on the blog when I say that wearing pants is not a sin. And no one here is trying to say that, or make anyone feel like a bad person or not as pious a person if they wear pants. Sin comes in when you, for example, walk out of the house wearing pants (or a skirt for that matter) that is so tight you can almost read where your under lovelies come from, and you KNOW that wearing it will lead another person to lust, and you KNOWINGLY wear it anyway.
Sin is one thing and healthy to talk about, but right not for another day. The dress dare is different, with a whole other intended effect. The dress dare is a challenge that says "ok, given that we're trying to be modest, trying to follow Our Lady and reflect her. How can we do this more? How can we remind ourselves everyday (even if it's annoying because our jeans are right there, calling to us!) to focus on modesty?" In the end, we're asking how can we love others even more. Because modesty has to do with others. If we were on an island by ourselves, we'd wear whatever we liked best and worked, be that sweat pants or a ball gown. But we are challenging one another to love others more through what we wear. Not because wearing pants is not loving, but because we want to do something different, something that classically is seen as feminine and more often easily modest, and focus on it.
I really liked Chantal's post talking about the Miraculous Medal. St. Max Kolbe encourages people to wear the medal NOT out of a sense of duty but out of love. It's a special way to show your love for the woman who said the ultimate Yes to Our Lord. This past week I've really been trying to remind myself that this is why I struggle to wear skirts this month. Not out of a sense of duty, but out of love. Love for others by focusing on being truly beautiful (and therefore modest) and ultimately love for our model of True Femininity, Mary.
The intended effect of the dress dare is to promote Love, something that women do in a very particular way. I'm just now really trying to figure out a way to promote this love in myself and others without hurting other women (the exact opposite of what we're trying to do).
