Laying Down a Proper Foundation for Family

"Every one then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house upon the rock, and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat upon that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock." -Matthew 7:24-27

I have been reflecting this week, about what kind of foundation I have laid for myself, my marriage and my family.  I know that this is the healthy order that things should be in.  Despite this, I often feel as though I am working backwards.

My most obvious goals encourage and inspire me to focus on my family's foundation daily: I strive to build a healthy, strong, attached relationship with my children;  I pray with them everyday; I teach them about the faith; I work hard to correct and develop their character and I make an effort to encourage lasting and healthy habits.  My husband and I talk about our future plans for our children and family, and what would like for our children to be like as young men.  We arrange family activities to bond and play and we go to mass together.  We make mistakes often, but are also very committed to building a strong foundation for our (still very young) family.

I also take time to focus on my marriage.  In five years we have already seen many fruits that have come from the graces of the sacrament of matrimony.  My husband and I make an effort to connect daily, and we genuinely enjoy each other.  We make spiritual goals together and help keep each other accountable with our struggles and our attempts to grow in virtue.  Do we pray together everyday?  Not really.  Shouldn't something like prayer be the basic foundation of our marriage?  Definitely.  Will we withstand rain, floods and winds?  By the grace of God we will-- but I know that there is still foundational work left to do in this department.

And then there is me.  I have been meditating about what kind of foundation I have built my house on.  I often feel unsure that it is rock, in fact on some days my foundation even feels like quick sand!  And although I could go into many, (many) examples about why I feel this way, my most urgent question is how this impacts the natural progression of my vocation-- in my personal relationship with God, my relationship with my husband, and my relationship with my children.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that if the first is strong, the laters will follow in a similar path.  I will never be able to love my husband enough if I do not love God first, and let Him work through my marriage.  My children will never grasp or believe any prayers, catechesis or a desire for the faith if they don't SEE me living my life out of LOVE for God.  My foundation matters, not only to me, but to my husband and family.  In fact, our sanctity might just depend on it.

As mothers, it is very easy to push our own needs aside, our spiritual needs included.  I understand that my vocation will not allow me to spend hours in adoration or pray the liturgy of the hours uninterrupted on a daily-basis.  I also understand that in living out a mother's spirituality, there will be days when the only formal prayers I will say will be the simple prayers I say with my children-- but if I do it out of true love for my Creator and and actually PRAY (instead of just reciting with or mimicking my preschoolers), then I will have seized an opportunity to strengthen my home.   I am a part of my marriage and family's foundation, and it is up to no one but myself to pray for wisdom and to work to build my life on rain, flood and wind-withstanding rock.

(http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:%22Rock_and_Cloud,_Kings_River_Canyon_(Proposed_as_a_national_park),%22_California,_1936.,_ca._1936_-_NARA_-_519927.jpg)

Casting Stones

This Sunday's gospel is one that always hits home for me, because of Jesus' call to forgiveness and humility. He tells the scribes and Pharisees who are circling the woman caught in adultery, "Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her" John 8. Similarly, we can often be quick to judge others, while forgetting to focus on the one person we can change: ourselves.

In our present culture it would not be acceptable to stone someone for committing adultery. Although it is a grave and hurtful matter, we know that the sinner can be forgiven. While reflecting on this reading, I was reminded of the current sexual abuse accusations made about Catholic priests, which is once again being focused upon in the media. There is no question that horrible crimes have been committed, and that the victims deserve our prayers and help to rehabilitate from these dreadful events. At the same time however, we cannot ignore Jesus' teachings. In this gospel reading Jesus not only called the Pharisees to examine themselves before stoning the woman, but more importantly, He also forgave her.

Will we join the media and continue to condemn the Church? Like the adulteress woman who humbly accepted her sentence before Jesus, the Church and the pope have asked for forgiveness. Will we drop our stones and follow Jesus' example to accept the Church's apology?

As the season of lent draws to a close, we will soon reflect on the Last Supper. There, Jesus broke bread and washed the feet of all twelve of his disciples. He knew that his betrayer would be among them, but He loved them anyways. Let us pray for the healing of those who have been hurt by Church officials, and also for the conversion of those who committed the crimes. Let us be reminded that we are all sinners, and that Jesus himself calls for us to forgive. Let us pray for our Church, and remember not to abandon Peter because of what Judas did.