Holy Saturday

Holy Saturday has always been a rather weird day for me.

Jesus is dead and buried, but we know He's going to rise on Sunday. So you feel somber but also excited for the next day. You feel weird doing an Easter Egg hunt, but also know that the pain has ended (and it just works out better time-wise that way). I make my mom's Easter bread to get ready for Sunday, but am not sure if I should watch a movie while doing it. After all, Lent's done. The 40 days are spent, right? Usually end up watching something "God-ish" by way of merging the two. After that I'm not sure what to do. Mostly, I feel like I'm waiting for something. Which I am. But what to do in the mean time? Most years... yard work.

Just a weird day. Why put it in there?

This year, however, I understand.

My husband and I miscarried our 3rd baby a couple weeks ago. And what I felt after we found out, I still do not understand. I was sad that our baby was gone. In fact, by the time we found out, they figure the baby had been dead for at least a week. But, being of faith, I knew that our baby was in Heaven, happier than anyone around me. But I wasn't ready for that. I couldn't focus yet on our risen little one. I needed time to feel confused and mourn. His death was complete, I just had the effects to deal with. I knew that I would soon feel better, feel his prayers for myself and my family working in my life. I just needed time.

I needed a Holy Saturday.

Two Seas

The following is taken from a homily I recently heard...

There are two seas in Israel. One is called the Sea of Galilee and the other is the Dead Sea. The Sea of Galilee is beaming with life. The water is beautiful and the home of many fish and different types of plant life. The Dead Sea on the other hand is exactly what its name says, dead. Nothing lives or grows in the Dead Sea. The water is murky and disgusting. What is it about these two sea that makes them so different? The Sea of Galilee receives water but is also gives water out. The Sea of Galilee flows into several other bodies of water giving its life to them. The Dead Sea receives but it never gives. Water comes in but it does not go anywhere else. Because of this the water is stagnate and as the water evaporates it leaves behind tons of salt that makes it impossible for things to live and grow.

Every one of us can be one of these two "seas". If we want to be full of life and beauty we have to give of ourselves like the Sea of Galilee. We must take what we receive and give it to others. If we on the other hand just take take take and never give we will end up ugly and dead with no chance of life and beauty just like the Dead Sea. These two "seas" are a glimpse of heaven and hell on earth. We experience a little bit of heaven when we give of ourselves because in heaven no one is selfish. Hell is filled with selfish people. In hell their is a huge banquet table with all the tastiest and finest foods. Everything you ever dreamed of eating is out on the table and everyone in hell is sitting around ready to eat. The only problem is that their forks are four feet long. Can you imagine trying to eat with a four foot long fork? No one could get the food into their mouth. It was torture. In heaven there is the exact same scene. The banquet table with all the food is there including the four foot forks. The difference though is that in heaven they are feeding each other. They are thinking of each other and giving to each other and in that everyone is fed. My sisters in Christ let us work every day to give of ourselves and never count the cost because our reward awaits us at the banquet feast of heaven.

The Best and Worst Time

The Best and Worst Time article I wrote for IIbloom is up!

Here is the direct link!

http://www.iibloom.com/?/bloom/article/a-real-life-story-best-and-worst-time/

Homesick for Heaven

Yep, I said it: I am homesick. I've been in Australia for 3 months now while my husband is on a work assignment and although we are living in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, I am starting to yearn for the one of the few things I cannot find an Australian substitute for... Home sweet home.

At night I dream about my bed, during the day I dream about my old routine. And of course, on top of this, I miss my friends and family terribly. Poor, poor me.

Ironically, I am aware that after the excitement of the flight home wears off, and my responsibilities and jobs start up again, I will yearn once more for something new. Perhaps I will even wish I could return to my extended "vacation" down under.

St. Augustine definitely had it right when he said, "God, you have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in you." It is a common human desire to always yearn for more, better, different. We think that traveling, more wealth, gadgets, promotions or television will fill that God-shaped hole in our hearts. If only I was thinner, if only I had more money, if only I worked less, if only I worked more-- THEN I would be satisfied.

The truth is however, that only God can satisfy this void, and it is this void that will keep us searching until we find rest in Him. Thank you Lord, for giving us this wonderful longing in our hearts to find you and draw closer to you. Thank you for humbling us, and reminding us that we cannot live without your love.