"I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

I long to hear my God say that "I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" and on October 16, 2011 He did. Yesterday I ran my first full marathon (I wrote several weeks ago about the training). I never fully knew how much of a spiritual meditation running a marathon would be.

Two weeks ago I injured my IT band (a thick band of fibrous tissue that runs along the outside of the leg from the hip to the knee to stabilize the leg during activity like running). It is a very common runners injury that has the potential to put you out of commission for a good month. Determined to run I started working with an incredible physical therapist who believed he could get me ready for the race. I knew starting the race yesterday that it was going to be a painful journey but I was committed to crossing that finish line.

The first few miles felt pretty good. I decided to pray the rosary while I ran. I started with the joyful mysteries figuring I would save the sorrowful mysteries and meditation of Jesus' suffering and passion for the end of the race when I expected to feel the pain. About mile 5 the pain set in. My knee was experiencing sharp pains that radiated up my thigh to my hip and down through my shin. I knew I would experience some pain but I did not expect it to start so early. At this point the sorrowful mysteries got called up early. A great friend of mine sent me a text me right before my race letting me know that she had just given birth to her daughter several weeks early. I took miles 5-7 and the prayers of my second rosary and offered it all for baby Hannah to be strong and healthy. As I continued running I begged God to take away the pain so I could finish this race.

Being that the race was in San Francisco I knew that there would be some intense hills. Right around mile 6 we began a mile long hill. All through training I had been dreading those hills and looking forward to all the down hills that would follow those scary climbs. As I started up the huge hill I noticed that it didn't bother my knee as much. The pain went from sharp to a dull ache. Form is very different when running up hills as compared to flat or downhill. To my amazement the uphills were the best possible thing for me. As I got to the top and started the descent I quickly realize that running downhill sent shooting pains through the outside of my knee. This became a great meditation for me. How often do we think we know what is best and worst for us only to find out that the thing we dreaded is the best for us and the thing we desired turns out to be the most painful. Those hills ended up being a huge blessing. I kept praying that in life God would grant me the grace to know that even when something seems scary and terrible, He knows what is best and what seems so bad is often exactly what we need.

I continued to run in great amounts of pain praying for God to take the pain away. About mile13 I realized that it was not God's will for the pain to subside so I started in on the glorious mysteries. As I meditated on the Resurrection and Ascension of our Lord I asked not that God take away the pain but that he give me that grace and strength to endure. THAT prayer He answered to the fullest. As I began to meditate on the third glorious mystery, the descent of he Holy Spirit, I felt the Holy Spirit giving me an extra push to run through the pain. I felt Him offer me a second wind. I kept running and prayed the next two mysteries about Our Lady asking her to be with me as she was with Christ as he bore his pain. I know she was there immediately keeping me going.

It struck me that often in life we ask God to take away our pain and we can get so frustrated when he does not. Instead what if we asked him to give us the strength to bare that pain along with Him? I ran 21.2 miles in pain that never let up and I know it was only possible because God gave me the grace and will to just keep going. I focused on just putting one foot in front of the other and watched as the miles passed by.

At mile 23 I knew the end was near and was ready to be done. Unfortunately at mile 23 my knee was also ready to be done and decided that it didn't want to bend anymore. One again I was not giving up. I was forced to limp and let my other leg take up the stress. With my knee giving out my ankle came to my rescue. I didn't realize until I got to the finish line but my right ankle was really beat up from compensating for my weak knee. Again my mind raced to the teachings of Our Lord. Jesus said that the Church is like a body and all the members are necessary. When one member is weak another can step in and help carry the weight so that they both can make it to the finish line. I have many times in my life seen this among those in the body of Christ and even experienced it during the marathon. My running partner Olivia ran her first marathon with the same injury so she knew what I was feeling. Without me even having to tell her about my pain she lovingly cheered me to the finish line and never left my side. The last mile my body was tired but Olivia cheered me one and just kept saying "you can do this, your mind is strong, don't give up". As we rounded the last turn the finish line was in site. She grabbed my hand and we began almost sprinting to the end. I didn't know I had any energy left but seeing the goal gave me a final push that sent me flying. I pray that one say I fly into the arms of my Lord when I see that ultimate finish line and when I get there I long to hear him say that "I have finished the race, I have kept the faith".

Immediately after crossing that finish line I started screaming in joy and dancing to celebrate. It was the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced. I looked at Olivia and said "I want to do that again!" Runners high was happening for me that afternoon. The pain was a thing of the past. I no longer cared how bad it hurt, I was so excited to have accomplished such an amazing goal. Today I can't bend my knee or walk normal but it was all worth it! I pray that when life throws pain and suffering at me I am able to remember that it is all worth it to get to the finish line!