Wedding bells came before I had a chance to figure out what I wanted to be “when I grow up”. This was definitely by default, because my parents raised me to finish school, find a job and figure out “who I am” before marriage. As a result, I’ve spent the first months of our marriage confused about where to work, what my “career goals” are, and what I should be spending my time doing before the baby stork arrives…
I am now learning that this “confusion”, has been an absolute blessing. Although trial and error has and will continually be involved, I feel that I am now able to explore employment opportunities that will allow me to put my marriage and family goals first. 1970’s feminists cringe at the idea of making your marriage part of your whole identity, but our vocation is God’s ultimate blessing on us, so who are we to not put it first?
Our society and education has boys and girls on identical tracks. Young men and women need to finish school and college, and then find a job and financial stability, and THEN, one can finally consider marriage and babies. I am an enormous supporter of women’s education and their place in the workforce, but should the fact that the majority of women will be called to motherhood, be ignored? Could the fact that so many women today are purposely delaying marriage and families until they have it “all figured out “be related to rising infertility rates?
Ironically, despite the fact that my mom was stay-at-home, marriage and motherhood was nothing but a vague idea for me while I was growing up, and I truly wish it would have been presented in a more respectable light. As a result, I always felt that God had given me far too many gifts and opportunities to stick me in a tiny home all-day with crying babies and dirty diapers. The past few months however, have taught me that all of my gifts ARE from God, and He is ultimately going to choose how they get used. This may mean that I will stay-at-home and devote my entire life to a large family, or it could mean that I will one day run for Vice President of the United States. Regardless of what path He will lead me on, my gifts will never go to waste as long as I put Him and my vocation first.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Knights of Columbus to Biden
After Nancy Pelosi made that absurd comment about what Catholics believe about abortion, I wrote to Archbishop Chaput to thank him for standing up and defending what we really believe. I didn't expect to get a response, but he actually wrote me back and asked for my prayers. Here is a letter from the Knights of Columbus to Biden about his ridiculous remarks:
Dear Senator Biden:
I write to you today as a fellow Catholic layman, on a subject that has become a major topic of concern in this yearʼs
presidential campaign.
The bishops who have taken public issue with your remarks on the Churchʼs historical position on abortion are far from alone.
Senator Obama stressed your Catholic identity repeatedly when he introduced you as his running mate, and so your statements carry
considerable weight, whether they are correct or not. You now have a unique responsibility when you make public statements about
Catholic teaching.
On NBCʼsMeet the Press, you appealed to the 13th Century writings of St. Thomas Aquinas to cast doubt on the consistent teaching
of the Catholic Church on abortion.
There are several problems with this.
First, Aquinas obviously had only a medieval understanding of biology, and thus could only speculate about how an unborn child
develops in the womb. I doubt that there is any other area of public policy where you would appeal to a 13th Century knowledge of
biology as the basis for modern law.
Second, Aquinasʼ theological view is in any case entirely consistent with the long history of Catholic Church teaching in this area,
holding that abortion is a grave sin to be avoided at any time during pregnancy.
This teaching dates all the way back to the Didache, written in the second century. It is found in the writings of Tertullian, Jerome,
Augustine and Aquinas, and was reaffirmed by the Second Vatican Council, which described abortion as "an unspeakable crime" and
held that the right to life must be protected from the "moment of conception." This consistent teaching was restated most recently last
month in the response of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops to remarks by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
Statements that suggest that our Church has anything less than a consistent teaching on abortion are not merely incorrect; they may
lead Catholic women facing crisis pregnancies to misunderstand the moral gravity of an abortion decision.
Neither should a discussion about a medieval understanding of the first few days or weeks of life be allowed to draw attention away
from the remaining portion of an unborn child's life. In those months, even ancient and medieval doctors agreed that a child is
developing in the womb.
And as you are well aware, Roe v. Wade allows for abortion at any point during a pregnancy. While you voted for the ban on partial birth
abortions, your unconditional support for Roe is a de facto endorsement of permitting all other late term abortions, and thus calls into
question your appeal to Aquinas.
I recognize that you struggle with your conscience on the issue, and have said that you accept the Churchʼs teaching that life begins
at conception – as a matter of faith. But modern medical science leaves no doubt about the fact that each person's life begins at
conception. It is not a matter of personal religious belief, but of science.
Finally, your unwillingness to bring your Catholic moral views into the public policy arena on this issue alone is troubling.
There were several remarkable ironies in your first appearance as Senator Obamaʼs running mate on the steps of the old state capitol
in Springfield, Illinois.
His selection as the first black American to be the nominee of a major party for president of the United States owes an incalculable
debt to two movements that were led by people whose religious convictions motivated them to confront the moral evils of their day –
the abolitionist movement of the 19th Century, and the civil rights movement of the 20th Century.
Your rally in Springfield took place just a mile or so from the tomb of Abraham Lincoln, who in April 1859 wrote these words in a
letter to Henry Pierce:
“This is a world of compensations; and he who would be no slave, must consent to have no slave. Those who deny freedom to others,
deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, cannot long retain it.”
Lincoln fought slavery in the name of “a just God” without embarrassment or apology. He confronted an America in which black
Americans were not considered “persons” under the law, and were thus not entitled to fundamental Constitutional rights. Today, children
of all races who are fully viable and only minutes from being born are also denied recognition as “persons” because of the Roe v. Wade
regime that you so strongly support. Lincolnʼs reasoning regarding slavery applies with equal force to children who are minutes, hours
or days away from birth.
The American founders began our great national quest for liberty by declaring that we are all “created equal.” It took nearly a century to
transform that bold statement into the letter of the law, and another century still to make it a reality. The founders believed that we are
“endowed by [our] Creator with certain unalienable rights,” and that first among these is “life.”
You have a choice: you can listen to your conscience and work to secure the rights of the unborn to share in the fruits of our hard-won
liberty, or you can choose to turn your back on them.
On behalf of the 1.28 million members of the Knights of Columbus and their families in the United States, I appeal to you, as a Catholic
who acknowledges that life begins at conception, to resolve to protect this unalienable right. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss
these issues personally with you in greater detail during the weeks between now and November 4.
Respectfully,
Carl A. Anderson
Supreme Knight
September 19, 2008
AN OPEN LETTER TO SENATOR JOSEPH BIDEN
Dear Senator Biden:
I write to you today as a fellow Catholic layman, on a subject that has become a major topic of concern in this yearʼs
presidential campaign.
The bishops who have taken public issue with your remarks on the Churchʼs historical position on abortion are far from alone.
Senator Obama stressed your Catholic identity repeatedly when he introduced you as his running mate, and so your statements carry
considerable weight, whether they are correct or not. You now have a unique responsibility when you make public statements about
Catholic teaching.
On NBCʼsMeet the Press, you appealed to the 13th Century writings of St. Thomas Aquinas to cast doubt on the consistent teaching
of the Catholic Church on abortion.
There are several problems with this.
First, Aquinas obviously had only a medieval understanding of biology, and thus could only speculate about how an unborn child
develops in the womb. I doubt that there is any other area of public policy where you would appeal to a 13th Century knowledge of
biology as the basis for modern law.
Second, Aquinasʼ theological view is in any case entirely consistent with the long history of Catholic Church teaching in this area,
holding that abortion is a grave sin to be avoided at any time during pregnancy.
This teaching dates all the way back to the Didache, written in the second century. It is found in the writings of Tertullian, Jerome,
Augustine and Aquinas, and was reaffirmed by the Second Vatican Council, which described abortion as "an unspeakable crime" and
held that the right to life must be protected from the "moment of conception." This consistent teaching was restated most recently last
month in the response of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops to remarks by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
Statements that suggest that our Church has anything less than a consistent teaching on abortion are not merely incorrect; they may
lead Catholic women facing crisis pregnancies to misunderstand the moral gravity of an abortion decision.
Neither should a discussion about a medieval understanding of the first few days or weeks of life be allowed to draw attention away
from the remaining portion of an unborn child's life. In those months, even ancient and medieval doctors agreed that a child is
developing in the womb.
And as you are well aware, Roe v. Wade allows for abortion at any point during a pregnancy. While you voted for the ban on partial birth
abortions, your unconditional support for Roe is a de facto endorsement of permitting all other late term abortions, and thus calls into
question your appeal to Aquinas.
I recognize that you struggle with your conscience on the issue, and have said that you accept the Churchʼs teaching that life begins
at conception – as a matter of faith. But modern medical science leaves no doubt about the fact that each person's life begins at
conception. It is not a matter of personal religious belief, but of science.
Finally, your unwillingness to bring your Catholic moral views into the public policy arena on this issue alone is troubling.
There were several remarkable ironies in your first appearance as Senator Obamaʼs running mate on the steps of the old state capitol
in Springfield, Illinois.
His selection as the first black American to be the nominee of a major party for president of the United States owes an incalculable
debt to two movements that were led by people whose religious convictions motivated them to confront the moral evils of their day –
the abolitionist movement of the 19th Century, and the civil rights movement of the 20th Century.
Your rally in Springfield took place just a mile or so from the tomb of Abraham Lincoln, who in April 1859 wrote these words in a
letter to Henry Pierce:
“This is a world of compensations; and he who would be no slave, must consent to have no slave. Those who deny freedom to others,
deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, cannot long retain it.”
Lincoln fought slavery in the name of “a just God” without embarrassment or apology. He confronted an America in which black
Americans were not considered “persons” under the law, and were thus not entitled to fundamental Constitutional rights. Today, children
of all races who are fully viable and only minutes from being born are also denied recognition as “persons” because of the Roe v. Wade
regime that you so strongly support. Lincolnʼs reasoning regarding slavery applies with equal force to children who are minutes, hours
or days away from birth.
The American founders began our great national quest for liberty by declaring that we are all “created equal.” It took nearly a century to
transform that bold statement into the letter of the law, and another century still to make it a reality. The founders believed that we are
“endowed by [our] Creator with certain unalienable rights,” and that first among these is “life.”
You have a choice: you can listen to your conscience and work to secure the rights of the unborn to share in the fruits of our hard-won
liberty, or you can choose to turn your back on them.
On behalf of the 1.28 million members of the Knights of Columbus and their families in the United States, I appeal to you, as a Catholic
who acknowledges that life begins at conception, to resolve to protect this unalienable right. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss
these issues personally with you in greater detail during the weeks between now and November 4.
Respectfully,
Carl A. Anderson
Supreme Knight
September 19, 2008
AN OPEN LETTER TO SENATOR JOSEPH BIDEN
When marriage breaks down...
Those who oppose Prop 8 wants us to believe it is just about freedom. They want us to think that it is just letting two people who love each other be together. They want us to think that it will have no effect on the rest of us. Read the article below and see that it will actually have a HUGE effect on society as a whole. An amazing Priest gave his homily on this at Mass this morning. He said that it could eventually be a law that Catholic schools must teach that marriage between two members of the same sex is okay. My school will shut down before we teach anything contrary to the Church. He also said that Priests could be put in jail for refusing marriage to a homosexual couple. The California Supreme Court is saying that religious freedom does not apply to this. I am gearing up for martyrdom, how about you!
This is the article...
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Jordin Sparks rocks my world
I was watching Fox News the other day and caught the tail-end of an interview with Jordin Sparks. During MTV's VMA Awards, Russell Brand made fun of the Jonas Brothers who wear purity rings: "It is a little bit ungrateful because (the Jonas Brothers) could literally have sex with any woman they want, but they're just not going to do it!", Brand told the audience. "That's like Superman just deciding not to fly, but to go home on a bus." Jordin Sparks defended them: "I just wanna say, it's not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK?" I just think it's so awesome that she stood up in front everyone and said that. I mean, I get freaked out giving chastity talks to Catholic groups... thinking that people are going to make fun of me for bringing such a radical message... but she stood up in front of all these MTV folks and defended what she believes in. She is rad and rocks my world.
My little "failure"
So I was reading up on Natural Family Planning to start relearning it. Every website sites success and failure rates. And I got to thinking ("Uh - oh", as my darling husband would say), aren't the failures really PEOPLE??? I guess it's a failure with respect to the "plans" the couple had, but seriously, how is creating an eternal soul considered a failure?
It's bad enough almost every person who found out about my pregnancy asked if was planned, but even with a 2.5 month old baby I am STILL being asked. Does it reeeeally matter? I mean, she's right there, she can hear you. Would you ask me that if the baby was 3 and could understand you? Sorry this is turning into a rant, but I guess it's just so lame that people place so much emphasis on "baby control" as my grandma says.
(Also, many website that cite NFP "failure" rates as 25% don't tel you that includes couples who don't always abstain when they're supposed to. The true bonus baby rate is 2%)
Not on topic, but still awesome:
Get in free to Disneyland on your birthday!!! :)
http://disneyparks.disney.go.com/disneyparks/en_US/WhatWillYouCelebrate/disneyland/index?name=CelebrationsDLRFreeOnYourBirTHDAYPAGE
http://disneyparks.disney.go.com/disneyparks/en_US/WhatWillYouCelebrate/disneyland/index?name=CelebrationsDLRFreeOnYourBirTHDAYPAGE
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Media sells false beauty
Today in my HS Morality class the students made a project from cutting pictures out of magazines. Someone donated a bunch of Cosmo's for me to use but as I was going through them I realized that Cosmo is soft porn. It has pictures of nearly naked women. I am not just talking immodest clothing but actually pictures with girls just covering their "private parts". The articles were all about sex and the best kind of birth control (gag), "how to be good in bed" and many other crazy topics. I was horrified. I could not believe what lies girls are fed these days. They are basically being told that they need to be naked, excessively thin, and an animal in bed to be worth anything. I pray that today on the birth of our Blessed Mother we see a rebirth of true beauty and real value for women.
Friday, September 5, 2008
A Case for Young Marriage
There is no doubt that people in this society are opposed to marrying young. I cannot tell you how many people have given me questioning, or even pitiful looks when they find out that I am 23 years old and already married. As crazy as this sounds, sometimes when I want to be perceived as older than I am, I carefully flash my lefthand ring during a conversation. This came in especially handy when Michael and I went car shopping, and the dealer (noticing us arguing a little) made a comment about how fun SIBLING rivalry can be!!! The bottom line is, marriage before late-twenties is not expected, nor is it socially accepted in our culture.
Many responses to this article http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/blog/on_marrying_young#When:01:30:02Z which favors young marriages, argued that not everyone has to be married young. Of course this is true; a marriage’s holiness is in no way based on age, and there are endless valid reasons for getting married later in life. What is important in this subject matter is that young people, especially those in relationships, need to constantly discern the possibility of marriage. Instead of cohabitating, or floating from relationship to relationship until a young person feels “ready”, marriage should always be the end goal for couples. I have no doubt that many people in their late-teens and possibly in their early twenties may not be ready for marriage or may not have met a suitable partner, and in these case, they should abstain and postpone entering relationships altogether. If a couple is mature enough to enter into a courtship, they should be mature enough to marry.
For those of you who know me, it is clear that I did not even follow my own advice. I entered a relationship at 18, and despite being committed, I did not anticipate wedding bells for several more years. When Brodle was finally old enough to support himself financially, we still met much opposition for being too young. A long engagement until I finished college became a very painful experience, but everyone agreed that this was the “smart” thing to do. Obviously, we were finally married at 22 and 26, making every ounce of patience worth it.
Marriage and parenthood at a young age is no doubt difficult, mostly due to financial strains and a lack of supportive communities. Young marriage however, also has many advantages, as couples grow and mature together during “moldable” years of life, and have more energy to raise little ones. Either way, marriage should not be socially discouraged (it should be encouraged!), and a real, discerned vocation (to marriage or religious life) should never be postponed… Only by aligning our will to God’s will we find His peace!
Many responses to this article http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/blog/on_marrying_young#When:01:30:02Z which favors young marriages, argued that not everyone has to be married young. Of course this is true; a marriage’s holiness is in no way based on age, and there are endless valid reasons for getting married later in life. What is important in this subject matter is that young people, especially those in relationships, need to constantly discern the possibility of marriage. Instead of cohabitating, or floating from relationship to relationship until a young person feels “ready”, marriage should always be the end goal for couples. I have no doubt that many people in their late-teens and possibly in their early twenties may not be ready for marriage or may not have met a suitable partner, and in these case, they should abstain and postpone entering relationships altogether. If a couple is mature enough to enter into a courtship, they should be mature enough to marry.
For those of you who know me, it is clear that I did not even follow my own advice. I entered a relationship at 18, and despite being committed, I did not anticipate wedding bells for several more years. When Brodle was finally old enough to support himself financially, we still met much opposition for being too young. A long engagement until I finished college became a very painful experience, but everyone agreed that this was the “smart” thing to do. Obviously, we were finally married at 22 and 26, making every ounce of patience worth it.
Marriage and parenthood at a young age is no doubt difficult, mostly due to financial strains and a lack of supportive communities. Young marriage however, also has many advantages, as couples grow and mature together during “moldable” years of life, and have more energy to raise little ones. Either way, marriage should not be socially discouraged (it should be encouraged!), and a real, discerned vocation (to marriage or religious life) should never be postponed… Only by aligning our will to God’s will we find His peace!
Monday, September 1, 2008
A little meditation on Motherhood
Lately I've been reflecting a great deal on the various aspects of growth into motherhood, as I am blessed with a beautiful 6 week old baby girl to care for each day. Looking back on pregnancy, I've appreciated that preparation, and had many thoughts on the process.
The three trimesters of pregnancy really cover the three cardinal virtues of Faith, Hope, and Love. During the first trimester, new mothers are called to sacrifice for this tiny life inside of them. No one can tell that you're pregnant, with the naked eye, yet you KNOW your body is doing something. There is a great deal of discomfort for your child that you cannot feel or see. You are called to believe, as a belief is a readiness to act, and change habits by taking prenatal vitamins, making sure you do not consume alcohol, and avoid the fun rides at disneyland despite what your eyes tell you.
The second trimester is filled with hope. Often called the "honeymoon" period of pregnancy, you (most women, at least) are feeling less sick, and more energetic. The Lord gives you little reminders that there's a little person inside of you as you start to feel movement. Tiny little feet and hands poke your belly, and suddenly, you dream of your little boy or girl. It is in this trimester that you can learn if it is a little boy or girl growing within your womb and the picture in your dreams becomes clearer. Your belly starts to pooch out showing others that you are a vessel of life, and it continues to grow.
The third trimester we are called to love in offering our bodies for our child. Your belly becomes much bigger and just getting up from the sofa becomes a weight training exercise. Your body looks much different from just 6 months earlier, although just as, if not more beautiful. And you start to really feel the effects of the extra weight. The baby starts to interrupt your sleep with stronger kicks, until your labor begins. You've prepared for this moment for 9 months and here you are, laying your body down into God's hands so He can guide this little child into the world.
That first cry is heard, and you can't help but think that suffering wasn't enough to deserve to hold this precious gift in your arms.
The period of love continues for the rest of your life because we'll give of ourselves until we can give no more. I'm learning that it's what motherhood is all about.
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