There is no doubt that people in this society are opposed to marrying young. I cannot tell you how many people have given me questioning, or even pitiful looks when they find out that I am 23 years old and already married. As crazy as this sounds, sometimes when I want to be perceived as older than I am, I carefully flash my lefthand ring during a conversation. This came in especially handy when Michael and I went car shopping, and the dealer (noticing us arguing a little) made a comment about how fun SIBLING rivalry can be!!! The bottom line is, marriage before late-twenties is not expected, nor is it socially accepted in our culture.
Many responses to this article http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/blog/on_marrying_young#When:01:30:02Z which favors young marriages, argued that not everyone has to be married young. Of course this is true; a marriage’s holiness is in no way based on age, and there are endless valid reasons for getting married later in life. What is important in this subject matter is that young people, especially those in relationships, need to constantly discern the possibility of marriage. Instead of cohabitating, or floating from relationship to relationship until a young person feels “ready”, marriage should always be the end goal for couples. I have no doubt that many people in their late-teens and possibly in their early twenties may not be ready for marriage or may not have met a suitable partner, and in these case, they should abstain and postpone entering relationships altogether. If a couple is mature enough to enter into a courtship, they should be mature enough to marry.
For those of you who know me, it is clear that I did not even follow my own advice. I entered a relationship at 18, and despite being committed, I did not anticipate wedding bells for several more years. When Brodle was finally old enough to support himself financially, we still met much opposition for being too young. A long engagement until I finished college became a very painful experience, but everyone agreed that this was the “smart” thing to do. Obviously, we were finally married at 22 and 26, making every ounce of patience worth it.
Marriage and parenthood at a young age is no doubt difficult, mostly due to financial strains and a lack of supportive communities. Young marriage however, also has many advantages, as couples grow and mature together during “moldable” years of life, and have more energy to raise little ones. Either way, marriage should not be socially discouraged (it should be encouraged!), and a real, discerned vocation (to marriage or religious life) should never be postponed… Only by aligning our will to God’s will we find His peace!
Many responses to this article http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/blog/on_marrying_young#When:01:30:02Z which favors young marriages, argued that not everyone has to be married young. Of course this is true; a marriage’s holiness is in no way based on age, and there are endless valid reasons for getting married later in life. What is important in this subject matter is that young people, especially those in relationships, need to constantly discern the possibility of marriage. Instead of cohabitating, or floating from relationship to relationship until a young person feels “ready”, marriage should always be the end goal for couples. I have no doubt that many people in their late-teens and possibly in their early twenties may not be ready for marriage or may not have met a suitable partner, and in these case, they should abstain and postpone entering relationships altogether. If a couple is mature enough to enter into a courtship, they should be mature enough to marry.
For those of you who know me, it is clear that I did not even follow my own advice. I entered a relationship at 18, and despite being committed, I did not anticipate wedding bells for several more years. When Brodle was finally old enough to support himself financially, we still met much opposition for being too young. A long engagement until I finished college became a very painful experience, but everyone agreed that this was the “smart” thing to do. Obviously, we were finally married at 22 and 26, making every ounce of patience worth it.
Marriage and parenthood at a young age is no doubt difficult, mostly due to financial strains and a lack of supportive communities. Young marriage however, also has many advantages, as couples grow and mature together during “moldable” years of life, and have more energy to raise little ones. Either way, marriage should not be socially discouraged (it should be encouraged!), and a real, discerned vocation (to marriage or religious life) should never be postponed… Only by aligning our will to God’s will we find His peace!
3 comments:
Kudos to Squinkla (if you can give kudos here)! Just wait until you have a baby or two or three with you. I always notice young moms wherever I go. There are actually a lot of us out there. You should have seen the looks I got when Tony was on the way! Some people just look at you with disapproval, at least in my experience they did. I have grown to appreciate and love my vocation and would not change it for anything.
Down here I don't notice quite as many young moms. I'm the youngest mom by 7 years on my street, and when I try to go to playgroups or new mom support groups I'm usually the youngest by at least a decade! Sometimes I wonder if people think I'm just babysitting her...
Thank you Cookie and Matris for doing God's will! It sounds like people are clearly noticing you, and maybe your example will soften their hearts.
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