When Joey and I first got engaged, many people started to question us. We were told that we were too young, that we hadn't experienced enough life yet. They told us to "enjoy college life" or "why don't you travel around the world?"
Because both Joey and I are both in school, we were told going to school and working would be to difficult.
In my opinion, it definitely is not the right choice for everyone.
That being said, it is important to follow God's will in your life.
There are a lot of reason for getting married young. When your lucky enough to have met the person you are going to spend the rest of your life at such a young age, and God calls you to the married life, then it's God's timing.
I remember reading an article when Joey and I were first considering when we should get married. It was called in defense of marrying young. In this article it talked about a lot of reasons that getting married young is not a bad thing. One thing they talked about was how when you are growing up your patterns and habits change a lot. When you get into college, you start to settle into your habits, but because of not knowing how your rooming situations will change from year to year, some of your patterns and habits can change. Then, once you start living on your own, your patterns and habits really take hold. And once that has happened, it has made it increasingly harder to change your ways. However, when you get married young, your patterns and habits start to form to each others. I've noticed that there are a lot of things that Joey and I like or don't like, and a lot of them tend to be similar. Our habits and patterns tend to fit into each others because we've, in a sense, have grown up together.
Another thing that was interesting was when people told us to "enjoy college life" or "travel the world".
I have found that when people say "enjoy college life" or "travel the world", my first reaction is why wouldn't I want to travel the world or enjoy my college life with my spouse?
At first glance, working and going to school would look like something that could be really difficult. Luckily, we haven't found this to be as difficult as it may sound. While working and going to school and being a wife can be difficult at times, I have found that working gives me something to do while Joey is at work during the day and I am not at school.
One of the biggest problems that people were questioning us over was money. Obviously, you need money to live, so therefore, it is important. But, it is not the end all be all. We don't need to be in a mansion and have all of those extra courtesies. Also, marriage is for richer or poorer. Not just when you have the good times rolling, but also when you have been hit so far down that you can't get back up.
Marriage is sacred and holy. It is a man and woman being joined together with God.
And those are a few of the benefits of getting married young.
4 comments:
My mom said that at her 20th high school reunion, the couples who had gotten married right after high school, to their hs sweetheart were all still married.
So, while I believe, as you said, that marrying young is not for everyone, it can very well work. And it very well may be that many of those college experiences actually make you less fit for marriage.
Being married right after college has meant that many of my post-graduation and career goals have been shaped by my vocation first. This has been an awesome blessing. Like you mentioned in your post, young people are encouraged to "find themselves" before settling down, but my husband and my son are more a part of me than any occupation ever will be... In just 2 years I can already see how God has guided me towards him, by marrying "young".
Another thing that I've found interesting has been entering motherhood at a relatively young age. Most of my friends are not yet in serious relationships, and thus babies are clearly not on the horizon for them. I've had several friends tell me however, that biologically they have a strong maternal desire to have children... Perhaps God has left a greater maternal imprint on our bodies than society wants to admit!
Alena, it is so beautiful to see you speak of marriage - congratulations on the blessing of your vocation. I just met a couple this weekend who got married around the age of 19 and they have been married 21 years.
I like the point you made about growing together - I sometimes wondered how Phil and I would do having had so much "this is how I do things time," but the Lord has been so merciful for us and instead I've found a beauty in combining our lives. Knowing that we have entered into a life long sacrament, reminds us that we must work together - that was what we "signed up for." :)
Don't forget one of the bigger reasons why early marriage makes sense: God programed our fertile and sexual peaks to coincide with our youth. How foolish to counsel young people to delay marriage and expect them to keep fighting the natural drive that God has instinctively put in them.
I am 32 and still unmaried, though not by choice, and I can testify that the best solution to avoiding sexual temptation is a marriage within which to enjoy that gift. Although I'm still a virgin, it has not been without extreme struggle and many many tears and extreme frustration along the way.
Check out this great article on young marriage: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2009/august/16.22.html?start=1
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