The 'Ol Ball 'n' Chain

I'm sure all of us have, at some point, heard a wife referred to as the title phrase of this post. While my husband has never referred to me as his "ball 'n' chain," sometimes I wouldn't blame him if he did. Ok, maybe I would. The point is, I am weak, and give in to my fallen nature way too much.

Let's face it. Those of us who are wives know, we tend to be nags at times. I find the devil tempting me with the tiniest little things and even using my husband's efforts to help around the kitchen or with our daughter, as fuel for aggravation. I will correct him on all these tiny little things, saying that dish doesn't go there or that bib doesn't work for this meal, when really, my husband may not be a professional homemaker, but he's an adult who's perfectly capable of functioning as one (even though he may act otherwise at times;-) ). Not only does this tempt him to lose patience with me, but in doing this, I'm not living out my vocation the way I'm supposed to. It's a bad habit to get into, because, what am I going to do when Mina tries to help around the house? Also, I hate to be a bad example to her of a wife who's constantly criticizing her husband around the house. It does not at all facilitate the type of relaxing atmosphere that should be the home, particularly for a husband who works so hard outside the home to provide for the family.

After a recent confession, in the hopes of helping me break this habit, my regular confessor recommended reading a few chapters in the book of Sirach. I should really read this particular chapter on "the good and the wicked wife" daily, so I wanted to share it. God makes our role as wives pretty clear:

Sirach 26

Happy is the husband of a good wife: the number of his days will be doubled. 2 A loyal wife rejoices her husband, and he will complete his years with peace. 3 A good wife is a great blessing; she will be granted among the blessings for the man who fears the Lord. 4 Whether rich or poor, his heart is glad, and at all times his face is cheerful.

5 Of three things my heart is afraid, and of a fourth I am frightened: The slander of a city, the gathering of a mob, and false accusation - all these are worse than death.

6There is grief of heart and sorrow when a wife is envious of a rival, and a tongue-lashing makes it known to all. 7 An evil wife is an an ox-yoke which chafes; taking hold of her is like grasping a scorpion. 8 There is great anger when a wife is drunken; she will not hide her shame. 9 A wife's harlotry shows in her lustful eyes, and she is known by her eyelids. 10 Keep strict watch over a headstrong daughter, lest, when she finds liberty, she use it to her hurt. 11 Be on guard against her impudent eye, and do not wonder if she sins against you. 12 As a thirsty wayfarer opens his mouth and drinks from any water near him, so will she sit in front of every post and open her quiver to the arrow.

13 A wife's charm delights her husband, and her skill puts fat on his bones. 14 A silent wife is a gift of the Lord, and there is nothing so precious as a disciplined soul. 15 A modest wife adds charm to charm, and no balance can weigh the value of a chaste soul. 16 Like the sun rising in the heights of the Lord, so is the beauty of a good wife in her well-ordered home. 17 Like the shining lamp on the holy lampstand, so is a beautiful face on a stately figure. 18 Like pillars of gold on a base of silver, so are beautiful feet with a steadfast heart.

Read Sirach 25 for the "wicked wife" and more comparison.

The Pope's message to Young Adults

Pope Benedict addressed 10,000 young people in Prague this morning, and delivered an awesome message regarding vocations. Here are some highlights from his talk.

"In every young person there is an aspiration towards happiness, sometimes tinged with anxiety: an aspiration that is often exploited, however, by present-day consumerist society in false and alienating ways. Instead, that longing for happiness must be taken seriously, it demands a true and comprehensive response. At your age, the first major choices are made, choices that can set your lives on a particular course, for better or worse."

“Many of you He calls to marriage...the preparation for this Sacrament constitutes a real vocational journey...Consider seriously the divine call to raise a Christian family, and let your youth be the time in which to build your future with a sense of responsibility. Society needs Christian families, saintly families!"

"And if the Lord is calling you to follow Him in the ministerial priesthood or in the consecrated life, do not hesitate to respond to His invitation. In particular, in this Year for Priests, I appeal to you, young men. ... The Church in every country, including this one, needs many holy priests and also persons fully consecrated to the service of Christ, Hope of the world.”

Our Holy father challenges us to become messengers of Hope in the world, by responding to the vocation God gives us. We must strive to “live [our] faith with joy and enthusiasm; to grow in unity among [ourselves] and with Christ; to pray and to be diligent in frequenting the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist and Confession," Pope Benedict said.

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=17243

Femininity in the Media

For months now, I have been considering my following of the reality television series "18 Kids and Counting" a guilty pleasure. I was reflecting over what it is that draws me to the show, and narrowed it down to one person-- Michelle Duggar. This woman truly inspires me!

Throughout all of her interviews she constantly exudes humility, grace, peacefulness and femininity. I am sure that many viewers must watch the Duggars mockingly, due to their large family size and God-centered life, yet Michelle Duggar is never defensive. In fact, she always finds a gentle way to see goodness in every person and situation that the Duggar family faces. I admire her quiet strength-- an active submission to her call to holiness. All in all, Michelle is clearly a witness of a woman at peace with God's will for her life.

My purpose of this post is not to place Michelle Duggar on a pedestal, but rather to point out a positive example of femininity in the media. Do you watch 18 Kids and Counting? Can you think of any other women on television who "define beauty" to you?

Our Mother and Mediator

My baby spent half of yesterday in tears. The frustrating thing with having an infant, is that although I knew something was hurting him, he was unable to communicate to me what was wrong (other than through crying). He could have been hungry, uncomfortable, or he could have been terribly sick. Because he was unable to help himself, as his mother I was responsible for calling the pediatrician. From there, the doctor helped me assess how we can best help him. Thus, as his mom, I became the mediator for bringing my baby to the physician and helping him feel better.

There are so many times in life when we are unhappy, frustrated, afraid, and unable to help ourselves. Our cries are sometimes very vague, just like those of an infant, because we are not quite sure what is missing. I knew that my baby needed a doctor, and similarly Mary knows that we need her Son. She can act as a mediator and to bring us to Jesus, and even explain to Him what we need, just as she did during the Wedding Feast at Cana. She understands our cries, as a mother understands her baby's needs, and she helps to bring us to our Savior, as a mother helps to bring a baby to the doctor. We are so blessed to have Mary to watch over us! Let us never be afraid to cry to her for help.

Pro-Life Resources

We all know how challenging it can be to find a good doctor these days, especially when it comes to pro-life issues. Here are a couple of resources that may be helpful:

http://www.omsoul.com (One More Soul)
http://www.aaplog.org (Pro-Life OB/GYNs)

Both sites allow you to search for doctors in your area.

Good, Clean, Family Funny

My husband and I took a rare trip to the movies last night and it was so worth it! I highly recommend "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs". It was totally clean, with a great message and laugh out loud funny for the whole family.

Quote of the day

“I am overwhelmed, caught up in how challenging my vocation is. Then I realize that it is no more challenging than any other vocation. It is just more challenging for me, because this is God’s call on my life.”

Kimberly Hahn
Chosen And Cherished: Biblical Wisdom For Your Marriage

"Are you pregnant yet?"

In the recent weeks, I seem to be getting this question a lot, from everyone from close friends, to my husband, and even my regular confessor. My husband and I are eager to give Mina a little brother or sister, but it seems that it's just not God's will yet. This has given me a lot to think about.

Today, while in mass, I was in the bathroom changing Mina and decided to take a pregnancy test I had in my bag, because I thought there was a possibility I was pregnant, and it would be nice to tell my husband just after the Eucharist. The answer was no, and for a moment, I felt as thought I might shed a tear, particularly when I looked at Mina. I thought of all the joy she brings me, and how much more joy another child would bring. I prayed and offered the moment to Mary and her Son for they know better than I when we should have another child, and we went back into the church.

With Mina waddling around, we decided to head into the cry room for the latter part of mass. It was quite full this morning, and not all with little children, but with a few families with handicapped kids, who have random outbursts, making it tough to sit anywhere else. As soon as I walked in, I couldn't help but think, "Thank you, Lord." Right there in front of me was a lesson. I have no idea why the Lord is choosing this particular spacing for Mina and her brother or sister. I have to realize, though I have no reason to think I'm infertile, that I may never be blessed with having another child naturally again. Or, the Lord could be providing this space because someday we will have a child with special needs, or someone else in the family that we can help care for while we only have one child. For whatever reason, I'm not yet pregnant again, and I thank God for this opportunity to desire children.

We know so little about ourselves in comparison with God, and we must always remember His love for us, whenever there is something we don't understand. If there's one thing we should have no control over, it's deciding when a human being should be created or not, and it's for this reason, that I love being completely open to life. It allows us to submit ourselves in a whole new way to His Holy Will, and to say, as women, "I am your handmaid, Let it be done unto me according to your will."

I thank Him for these months of patience, and I thank Him for those of you who are blessed with having children closer together, for there are lessons for all of us in the gift of family life.

To the Woman who Defines Beauty

Happy Birthday Mother Mary!

The look of love

Recently I've really begun to ask myself how do I love? Or, better, how should I love?

This comes from having a few dear ones to me basically doing the moral equivalent of running into the street (or, more, running into on-coming traffic). They know it's not a good idea, but do it anyway. When they tell me about it, I'm not sure what my response should be. What is the loving thing to do?

Up to now, I haven't been able to contain myself and I tell them that while I understand that it may feel good at the time, it will only hurt them. That it IS hurting them - they just don't realize it yet. However, I come across as "hard." They haven't told me this, but I can feel it. True goodness, true love does not come across as being "hard." I don't think Jesus came across as "hard." Not to the sinner anyway - did He? Maybe to the Pharisees, but I think that is because they were dealing with intellectual problems. My dear friends are having love issues.

How do you explain to someone not to throw away their emotions? That the person who they love does not love them back (as is made obvious by the other's actions)? How do you explain to them that they are selling themselves short? without sounding like - excuse me - but a prick?

I read a book recently by Conrad Baars (Catholic psychologist). He talks about the real need for love, and how many of the problems in our culture, many of the psychological and emotional problems are from people not being loved enough/correctly. That the Human person cannot develop properly without being "affirmed." This affirmation, further, is not something you do, but is something you are. It shows in the eyes, more than actions or words. I think he's right. They say that when St. Max Kolbe was being murdered, he looked on the guards with such love that they could not stand it. One had to leave, and the others commanded him not to look at them.

That look cannot be "hard." How do I get that look in my eyes when talking with the ones I love? How do I become that person? If you guys have any thoughts or even know what I'm talking about, I'd really like some ideas.