The 'Ol Ball 'n' Chain

I'm sure all of us have, at some point, heard a wife referred to as the title phrase of this post. While my husband has never referred to me as his "ball 'n' chain," sometimes I wouldn't blame him if he did. Ok, maybe I would. The point is, I am weak, and give in to my fallen nature way too much.

Let's face it. Those of us who are wives know, we tend to be nags at times. I find the devil tempting me with the tiniest little things and even using my husband's efforts to help around the kitchen or with our daughter, as fuel for aggravation. I will correct him on all these tiny little things, saying that dish doesn't go there or that bib doesn't work for this meal, when really, my husband may not be a professional homemaker, but he's an adult who's perfectly capable of functioning as one (even though he may act otherwise at times;-) ). Not only does this tempt him to lose patience with me, but in doing this, I'm not living out my vocation the way I'm supposed to. It's a bad habit to get into, because, what am I going to do when Mina tries to help around the house? Also, I hate to be a bad example to her of a wife who's constantly criticizing her husband around the house. It does not at all facilitate the type of relaxing atmosphere that should be the home, particularly for a husband who works so hard outside the home to provide for the family.

After a recent confession, in the hopes of helping me break this habit, my regular confessor recommended reading a few chapters in the book of Sirach. I should really read this particular chapter on "the good and the wicked wife" daily, so I wanted to share it. God makes our role as wives pretty clear:

Sirach 26

Happy is the husband of a good wife: the number of his days will be doubled. 2 A loyal wife rejoices her husband, and he will complete his years with peace. 3 A good wife is a great blessing; she will be granted among the blessings for the man who fears the Lord. 4 Whether rich or poor, his heart is glad, and at all times his face is cheerful.

5 Of three things my heart is afraid, and of a fourth I am frightened: The slander of a city, the gathering of a mob, and false accusation - all these are worse than death.

6There is grief of heart and sorrow when a wife is envious of a rival, and a tongue-lashing makes it known to all. 7 An evil wife is an an ox-yoke which chafes; taking hold of her is like grasping a scorpion. 8 There is great anger when a wife is drunken; she will not hide her shame. 9 A wife's harlotry shows in her lustful eyes, and she is known by her eyelids. 10 Keep strict watch over a headstrong daughter, lest, when she finds liberty, she use it to her hurt. 11 Be on guard against her impudent eye, and do not wonder if she sins against you. 12 As a thirsty wayfarer opens his mouth and drinks from any water near him, so will she sit in front of every post and open her quiver to the arrow.

13 A wife's charm delights her husband, and her skill puts fat on his bones. 14 A silent wife is a gift of the Lord, and there is nothing so precious as a disciplined soul. 15 A modest wife adds charm to charm, and no balance can weigh the value of a chaste soul. 16 Like the sun rising in the heights of the Lord, so is the beauty of a good wife in her well-ordered home. 17 Like the shining lamp on the holy lampstand, so is a beautiful face on a stately figure. 18 Like pillars of gold on a base of silver, so are beautiful feet with a steadfast heart.

Read Sirach 25 for the "wicked wife" and more comparison.