Dear Defining Beauty,
If you ask me which article of clothing I cannot live without, I will not hesitate to answer: my pair of jeans. I am one of those crazy people who pays a fortune for designer denim, because it is oh-so worth it. I wear them out until there are holes in my knees and the hems are completely fringed. And sometimes I wear them anyways, despite rips and tears. I can fancy them up with a cute blouse and some jewelery, or dress them down with a pair of flip-flops. It sounds cliche, but when I wear my jeans, I feel confident, comfortable, and I feel like me.
That being said, you can probably guess how much I am looking forward to the Dress Dare. Can I really hang up my beloved jeans for an entire month? Why put myself through the torture? Insert my childish response here: "Because someone dared me to..."
God made men and women equal in dignity. We each have different strengths and gifts, and we complement each other in a profound way that bears the image of our creator. I have never felt called to wear skirts and dresses for the same reason that many admirable Christian women have witnessed to me. Nevertheless, I love being a woman and am proud of my femininity. I am always striving for ways to better understand my mission as a woman, and to draw closer to the Father by using the gifts that He has given me.
During what history labels as the feminist movement, women unfortunately felt that they needed to reject all aspects of femininity in order to compete with men and prove themselves to be "better". In the context of how women have been treated in some past civilizations, it is understandable why these "feminists" felt anger towards men. In fact, these conflicts can be traced back to the fall of man. Scripture says that after eating the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden, God said to Eve: Your urge shall be for your husband, and he shall be your master (Gn 3: 16). In other words, as a result of original sin, it is a natural temptation for men to desire domination over women, and for women to be submissive to them in a disordered way.
The efforts to fight this disharmony between sexes continues to have a great impact on our society today. In completely rejecting femininity, virtues such as humility, service, patience, selflessness, charity, maternity, kindness ect., are often looked down upon in our secular world. They are seen as signs of "weakness". Nevertheless, these are all virtues that Mary, the most holy of all creatures, demonstrated in her life on earth. She is the model of all women, and the one who defines feminine beauty in every aspect.
I strongly believe that true feminism does not mean rejecting our womanhood and becoming like men. Feminism is being aware of the great dignity of my mission as a woman, wife, mother, daughter, friend, teacher and person. Femininity is important, and a beautiful blessing that we should be proud of. Does this mean that wearing a skirt will really bring me closer to God? Will the dress dare help to make me more perfectly feminine, in a way that I can fulfill my personal vocation? I don't know the answer to these questions yet, but it seems worthwhile to explore. If anything, I am looking forward to spending the month of May reflecting and meditating over femininity and Mary. Will you join me in this experience and discussion about femininity?
Sincerely,
a Jean-aholic
P.S. Please pray for me, since I am bound to have some SERIOUS denim withdrawals up ahead of me.
10 comments:
Good for you for accepting the dare! Being open to this is a beautiful way to open yourself to His grace. Just your openness to give up something you love for the possibility of growing closer to Christ and becoming more the image of Mary shows your love for Him.
Hi there,
My name is Melissa, I am from British Columbia, Canada and I came across your blog a short time ago after a conference where I felt God nudging me to better understand what femininity means to Him. I "googled" and your blog came up, so I have been following and really enjoying reading what all of the authors have to say.
I am a new mom, my son was born 6 weeks ago and my husband and I are just coming to our one year wedding anniversary. I am in the midst of blessings and grace and love, but I am still prompted to know how my femininity works in my life and how to live it more fully. So, I am accepting the Dress Dare. I went to a second hand store and bought a few skirts and dresses (obviously, I am not my usual size, so all of my dresses and skirts don't fit properly right now)and I am really excited. I love wearing skirts and I love wearing dresses - my husband loves it, too. I just find myself defaulting to jeans or pants.
I wonder if you have any suggestions on meditations for this month - that really get at the heart of God's plan for women and their beauty as mothers, wives, women.
Thanks so much for the dare - it's exciting.
Welcome MJG! I am so excited that you are joining us in the dress dare. Please pray for one another!
I love your idea of finding specific meditations for the month. One book that focuses on femininity that I recommend is "The privilege of being a woman" by Alice von Hildebrand. It isn't very long, but it is dense and filled with awesome wisdom.
Anyone have any other suggestions?
Another book that to me, has been the best thing I've ever read on modesty, and women and dress overall, was "Dressing with Dignity." Like "privelege of being a woman," (which is great too), it's a pretty short book.
What about Theology of the Body? For our first Valentine's Day as a couple, my husband gave me Christopher West's CD set "Naked Without Shame" that goes into John Paul II's teachings. It'll take a while, but it's fantastic! Hope this helps! :)
http://www.amazon.com/Foundation-Presents-Naked-Without-Shame/dp/B000J1KNTI/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1272500236&sr=1-5
I like "The Authentic Catholic Woman." It talks about what true femininity is in general, but also specifically goes through parts of our faith and shows how they relate to us.
I especially like when it goes through the sacraments and shows how they have special meaning for women. A lot is based on the fact that the "Church" is shown and talked about as a woman, and how it is our model.
I also like how it talks about both the married life and the celibate life. So after I read it, I sent it to my sister (who's a nun).
http://www.amazon.com/Authentic-Catholic-Woman-Genevieve-Kineke/dp/0867167688
Welcome MJG... we're so glad to have you with us! Congratulations on your new son and your one year anniversary - I will celebrate my one year anniversary in June! I think one of the greatest things about our dress dare being in May is that it's the month of Mary. If we want to know true femininity we should always look to her! Perhaps you can pick up some meditations on her and her motherhood during this month! God Bless... I'll look forward to your updates now that you're with us!
Thank you so much for your suggestions - I actually have the Authentic Catholic Woman, I just haven't focused on reading it, maybe I'll start there. Before my husband and I got married - we listened to Christopher West's talks on "Naked without Shame" - they're awesome. All of his books are great. I'd like to get "The Privilege of Bring a Woman" and "Dressing with Dignity", too - I'll keep them on my list. Thank you again, so much! One more day - I'm looking forward to it!
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