High School "Romance"?

The other day, High School Musical 3 was on television and Mina and I watched a little bit of it. I figured she'd like the singing and dancing, plus, I've been thoroughly entertained by these movies. While watching it, I realized, my high school story sort of paralleled the main character, Gabriella. I moved to CA from across the country my sophomore year, fell in with the theater crowd, and started dating a guy seriously that same year, and we happened to be paired up several times as a couple on stage. We continued to date into college, just as the picture was painted of Troy and Gabriella going off to colleges only half an hour from one another, living happily ever after. Only, after high school, our relationship ended in a messy breakup with broken hearts and many broken friendships as well because friends naturally take sides. I'm not sure what the folks at Disney have planned for Troy & Gabriella's future, but one thing I do know, is that it's likely unrealistic.

Part of the reason I got into a serious relationship so young, was because, I, like many young girls grew up with the notion of Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet and living happily ever after. My parents happen to be one of the few success stories of high school sweethearts who get married and stay married. They are rare. The truth is, at 15, I had no business getting into a relationship like this. Neither one of us was prepared to get married, which is the purpose of dating, and so not only did this put us in the near occasion of sin for things like chastity, but it prevented us from seeking out our true vocations and properly preparing for them, which, as it turns out, happened to be to marry other people. I so badly wanted to live what I saw in films and television. I grew up watching Zac and Kelly religiously, hoping for their happy ending. As I got older, I wanted my own. The only problem is, my happy ending wasn't so properly ordered, and it was based on superficial ideas of fireworks, butterflies, and emotions. I was so focused on this ideal that I'd built up in my head that I developed an extreme disordered attachment. I put our relationship above those with my friends, family, and ultimately, God, because I was no longer open to His will for anything other than the future I'd planned.

I know I'm not the only woman who's had this experience, and this is why I'm writing this blog. The pain we experienced in our breakup could have been avoided, and our hearts could have been more whole for our spouses, if I had simply not allowed these fantasies to fill my head. Had I been focused on just loving the Lord at a time when I could have been discerning religious life and growing in virtue and knowledge of Christ, knowing I was not in any way ready for marriage, I could have probably been a much holier teen and grown virtues I could be tapping into more as a wife and mother today.

Praise the Lord, he can draw straight with crooked lines, for this guy in high school brought me back to mass, and surrounded me with the right group of people in youth ministry. He even introduced me to my future husband, and for that, I am forever grateful to him. I would have never known the beauty of the Catholic faith without him in my life.

So God can work through anything, but let's not forget that he never wills our vice or sin. He wants us to be saints, and is what's portrayed in so many of these "High School Musical," "chick flicks," leading us to love Christ more, or is it pushing us more in the ways of the world? What messages are we sending our children, and ourselves? I'm not saying be puritanical about this. I think there are lots of virtues that are presented in films like Beauty & the Beast, where Belle learns to love the soul, not the exterior, and the princesses are kind and generous people, but we should always make sure that we talk with our children about the influences in front of them. Teach them to question, what actions are good and properly ordered, and what actions lead us away from God the Father, who makes us all princesses when he claims us as his daughters.