Recently, I offended someone close to me because of a selfish tendency I have. I didn't anticipate it hurting them to the extent that it did, when I acted, but my action was definitely rooted in vice and a lack of charity. The toughest part of this, was that even when I apologized and tried to make amends with a gracious act the next day, the person did not forgive me. They, in fact, would not speak to me. Now regardless of whether their actions were just or not, I was still the one in the wrong. No matter how it made me feel to have my apology rejected, it was all a result of my sin. I could not look at the other person's faults, only mine. This really perplexed me, and I didn't really know how to proceed.
When someone doesn't accept a first apology, do you just continue apologizing and trying to make peace, or do you just let the relationship remain disconnected?
In this circumstance, I prayed a lot, and was struck by the near death of a friend of mine (please keep Melanie, a young mother in critical condition after delivering her 2nd child, in your prayers), and resolved that I would not allow the tension to persist, because life is too short. I further humbled myself before this person and took further steps to beg their forgiveness. I accepted 100% responsibility for my failings, because even if I didn't realized how much it would offend them, it did hurt them, and my action was rooted in vice.
When we sin, we must humble ourselves. We must look at our failures and take responsibility for them. This includes taking all measures possible to repair the damage done, whether it be private penance, or gestures to make a mends with a person that our sins have harmed. Their actions are not up to us, but we must make sure that we do everything within our power to admit our faults and make reparations for them. I am thankful for God's mercy and the forgiveness of the person I offended. It took more than I thought it would to obtain, but I have received it, and am humbled to realize that our sins do have incalculable effects, and I desperately need mercy. Praise God for the gift of confession as well, because even when our human brothers and sisters aren't forgiving, God's mercy is endless!
A beautiful, simple prayer that I try to say frequently, is, "Jesus Christ, son of the living God, have mercy upon me, a sinner."
1 comment:
Don't forget that when we mess up we should be called to meditate deeply on God's mercy and remember that our sins are but a drop in the ocean of his mercy.
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