It has come to my attention in my conversations with Jesus lately that I do not know how to say no. I really do not like that word. At first I thought that maybe it was a problem. Many times people have said to me that I do not stand up for myself or say what I want enough. I spent about a day thinking that I need to learn to say no more often and that it is fine to do what I want sometimes. Then I thought of our blessed mother. Her defining moment was her big YES. Why do I dislike the word no??? Because it closes me off to giving myself for others and living my life in service. I made a decision a while back to use my single state in life (for as long as Jesus sees fit) to serve my family and friends. I decided that I would never be selfish with this time in my life. This shows itself in big and small ways, mostly small. In even very little decisions I try to yield to the desires of others. Those little choices make the big ones easier and Therese said to love in the little things. It is the little choices that do not draw attention of anyone but Jesus. He alone knows and he alone is all that matters. I love living for others. I love not choosing my way. I believe that it helps to drive out my natural selfishness that fallen nature has given me. I love that I am able to serve my friends and family any time they need. Society tells us single women that we need to "live it up" because once we get married it is all over. I think that I am working toward better preparing myself for marriage by spending my time living for others. If God one day calls me to marriage I hope that I am better able to serve my husband and children because of years of practice. I am writing this to encourage all of our single readers to take this time in your life to live at the service of others. Don't worry that you will lose yourself or your desires. Quite the opposite, you will become most who God wants you to be. Like Mary, we define ourselves with our Yes's. It is truly and amazingly fulfilling.
PS: I have waiting a long time to write on this subject because I did not want to appear to be tooting my own horn or being prideful. Please make no mistake. All is due to the Holy Spirit and the intercession of Our Lady.
3 comments:
This is edifying to read. While not being able to say "no" can be indicative of a person who requires approval from others, yours sounds like a good and holy disposition.
Too many people see their time as a single for living it up before marriage ties them down. They then get into very selfish patterns. Nothing is harder on spouses and children than a selfish parent. SelfLess parents keeps romance fresh, and raise happy, well-behaved, loving children.
"Why do I dislike the word no??? Because it closes me off to giving myself for others and living my life in service."
Transitioning to married life and motherhood has been a challenge for me, and through these trials I think that I've occasionally gotten too comfortable saying "no". It isn't that there is anything wrong with saying no, especially if it interferes with your primary vocation, but I like how you point out Mary's example above all. We can all be tempted to say "no" for selfish reasons, no matter what our state in life is. And if it is God's will for us to say "no", then our "no" is truly a "yes"... Ok now I am just confusing myself. :) Thanks for the great post!
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