The picture I promised

Here is the final result of the centerpieces I planned for our parish picnic. The tables were alternating navy blue and light blue and I just used the ready to go faux flower centerpieces we have on hand. For the little Mary sticks, I printed out circles a little bigger than 1.5" in diameter and cut them out using a circle punch then hot glued them and a little bow to a skewer. And the best part is they can be reused for other Marian celebrations! 

It's almost Our Lady's birthday...

On September 8 the Church celebrates the feast of the Birth of Mary. We don't actually know her real birthday, but tradition holds that she was the only child of St. Anne and St Joachim. According to my book, Marian Devotions in the Domestic Church, "this feast was celebrated by Christians in Syria and Palestine as early as the sixth century, when on a particular Sept. 8 a church in Jerusalem was consecrated in Mary's honor. Over the next several centuries observance spread to the Western Church; by the Middle Ages it was a public holy day and remained a day of obligation until 1918."

Well, our parish is having our annual picnic that day and I've ordered a birthday cake with blue and white roses (yay Costco!). We've planned on having all the tables covered in tablecloths of varying shades of blue and the picture is of the placemats I'm writing on. Each one says "Happy birthday Mary!" and it has a title of Our Lady. More pictures later with, but what are your favorite titles so I can be sure to include them? I've still got 20 mats to go!

Also, don't forget to celebrate at home! Make or buy a cake or cupcakes and sing to Our Lady. Kids love to sing happy birthday! Got a blue tablecloth? Bust it out for one night. Grab leftover party hats ,banners, blowers, etc and you've got an evening the kids will LOVE and will build a Catholic culture in your home. 😀

Month of Mary

Just a little food for thought before May is over...
The following is taken from the May 2012 Magnificat and is by Heather King:

"At the cross her station keeping/ Stood the mournful Mother weeping/ Close to Jesus at the last." Thus runs the thirteenth-century Latin hymn known as the Stabat Mater: "The mother was standing."

Still standing.  Through giving birth in a stable: still standing.  Through a prophecy that her heart would be pieced by a sword: still standing.  Through watching from the foot of the cross as her Son was totured to death: still standing.  In the three to fifteen years she purportedly lived after Christ died: still standing, still believing, still finding joy and meaning.

Mary, who probably couldn't read but who took care of the baby and cooked the meals, is our greatest saint.  To be a mother is to stretch yourself as far as you can possibly go.  It is to say, There! That is everything I have; that is my blood, my heart, my bone marrow.  And it is then to be called to give in yet a different way, a different direction.  Just when the mother wants to rest, she is called to more openness of heart, more self-emptying, more patience, more work, more letting go, more love....

Mary knew better than anyone, next to Christ himself, the suffering of the cross.  For a mother to witness the brutal execution of an innocent Son- the fruit of her deepest procreative urge, the object of her most profound self-giving- is perhaps the most excruciating form of suffering a woman can endure.  A mother would die for her child, Mary watched her child die for her.

"Mary was the Mother Incarnate and her sacrifice was quite simply the complete acceptance of that which happened to her Son, which meant the death of every shred of possessiveness,"  writes Dante scholar Helen M. Luke.

The death of possessiveness; the birth of God.  "My soul doth magnify the Lord," Mary sang, heavy with child, as she journeyed to visit her cousin Elizabeth in "the hill country."  What simplicity.  What confidence.  What humility.  What purity-for in order to magnify God, you have to become transparent yourself. 

We are all so afraid of falling through the cracks, of being forgotten, of aging, of dying.  But if you don't want to be forgotten, we learn from Mary, value your soul more than success or riches or fame.  Serve Christ instead of yourself.  Become a model of creative suffering, patient endurance, and the erotic urge channeled, contained, and focused into a white-hot flame.

For purity endures. It is Mary who is venerated throughout the world, from the lowest places to the highest, not Cleopatra.  It is Mary to whom we pray the rosary, not Marilyn Monroe.  It is Mary we appeal to for help, for comfort, for solace, for understanding, not Salome.

Every follower of Christ spends a long "December"- maybe many Decembers - in a stable.  But May means to burst, with Mary, ever Virgin, into our fullest, most fecund flower.--

The Best Doula Around

For those of you for whom pregnancy is easy, you never cease to amaze me.  Pregnancy is always wonderful (because it just is), but for most of us out there, it is TOUGH.  Sacrifices come in all (strange) forms, from constant nausea, backaches, exhaustion, teenage-worthy skin breakouts, swollen bodies, insomnia, mood swings, the inability to poop... and the list goes on.

I have been feeling a little uncomfortable myself lately, and despite the joy I have about being entrusted with a new little soul, day-to-day living has been challenging.  Through my first pregnancy, I was early on given the wise advice to turn to Mary.  Mary went through a pregnancy, and she is our blessed mother.  Of course it makes sense to ask her for help!  She has an understanding of what we are going through.

I had a fantastic new thought occur to me this time around however.  I was meditating on the mystery of the Visitation, when Mary (with child) visited Elizabeth, to serve her and help her through the end of her pregnancy.  I was thinking about Elizabeth, who was past child-bearing age, and how difficult a pregnancy must have been for her, this late in life.  Mary stayed with Elizabeth for 3 months to serve; probably helping her with housework, making meals, rubbing her swollen feet and trying to make Elizabeth feel more comfortable.

And so here is my epiphany:  Mary took care of Elizabeth during her pregnancy!  Why wouldn't she take care of all pregnant women?

Lately, I've been asking Mary to stay with me, like she did with Elizabeth.  To come live in my home for these next months, and to help me to face my daily challenges.  Not only did Mary go through it herself, but she also lovingly took care of her pregnant cousin.  It goes without saying that Mary will lovingly care for any pregnant woman that turns to her.

F is for Femininity

There are so many meanings to femininity - I'm hoping a couple of the other girls chime in on this because as I've been thinking about what to write about and I've come up with about 10,000 ideas. (Or, at least more than 5 anyway...)

1) Do I write about my husband's current favorite bible quote: "Who is she that cometh forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array? " - Song of Solomon 6:10

It's traditionally thought to refer to Mother Mary, and I love it as a broader description of femininity.

2) Do I talk about what wikipedia has down as the "cultural norms" of femininity: Cleavage, Corsets, Foot binding, High heels, Modest dress (specifically Muslim female dress), and Neck rings. (I looked that last one up.) Turns out that in some African and Asian cultures long necks are considered pretty, so they put all these rings around them to make them look longer. Anyway, *what* a list!

3) Do I talk about what Paul VI said in one of his Discourses: "...it is evident that women are meant to form part of the living and working structure of Christianity in so prominent a manner that perhaps not all their potentialities have yet been made clear." And NO, this does not mean that one day women will be priests, that is a male potentiality. A woman's goal in life should not be to try (and fail miserably) to take on as much masculine duties and characteristics as possible. But maybe some future female will explain to the Church how all people can fulfill their calling to true contemplation of God. Maybe women will come to a deeper understanding of why they tend to be "naturally religious" and this realization will change society's whole vision of religion. It could be anything. Who knows?

4) OR I could raddle on about John Paul II's phrase in On the Dignity and Vocation of Women (of which I've only read a tiny bit) "To serve means to reign." He talks about how Mary after giving her fiat at the Annunciation, immediately defines her new relationship "I am the handmaid of the Lord" (Lk 1:38). -- by the way -- I also love that she feels the need to define her relationship. I mean, isn't that always what we girls want to do when we get into a new relationship? Are we just friends? Are we in love? Are we not, but will be? What's the deal?! John Paul II says that Mary by saying this "takes her place with Christ's messianic service." And in Christ's Kingdom, there is a "royal dignity of service;" Christ continually says that He has come to serve. Mary realizes this, and when she is told that she has been chosen to be the Mother of God, immediately sees that she will reign as queen. BUT her reigning will consist of serving. So when she says "I am the handmaid of the Lord," she is also saying that she will be queen.

And do you think that Disney came up with the idea that all girls are princesses? I think not. Since Mary is in many ways the culmination of true femininity, her virtues show us our own feminine virtues God has implanted in us. So when a little girl "randomly" dresses up in a gown and declares herself queen or princess, she is really expressing what Mary expressed at the Annunciation: I am made to reign (but reign by serving).

I should probably stop here since I'm not sure that that last one was all too clear... and since the next idea had to do with Free Will, and our will's submissiveness, and our feminine calling to be submissive to our husband's and ultimately Christ... (and you can land in heresy REALLY easily when talking about Free Will) I should probably just leave off here until I think about it a little more.

Being Open to Life

I was recently reflecting about the "openness to life" that our faith calls married couples to.  I realize that this can be a hot topic for many faithful Catholics regarding when/why using Natural Family Planning is morally acceptable. Nevertheless, this debate is not my focus.  Instead I found myself reflecting on the annunciation.

These days it seems as though there are many more "reasons" NOT to have children than ever.  For example, society says that simply being a "newlywed" qualifies couples to refrain from openness to life.  For some newlyweds the adjustment to marriage may constitute a serious reason to postpone children, but this (and other grave factors) are not what I am referring to.  Isn't it odd that babies who arrive 9 months after a honeymoon are suprising (and few) nowadays?  Society tells us to take two, five, ten years to get to know each other, buy a home, travel ect... and then we can start thinking about "trying".  Perhaps it is not the children who should be postponed, but rather the wedding date!

When we examine Mary's situation from our own cultural perspective, we realize that she had every reason not to be open to life.  She was barely a teenager, very poor and unmarried.   If you consider the world she lived in, these reasons could constitute even more graveness than they would today.  There was no Medicaid, no crisis pregnancy centers or shelters, and adultery could be punished by death.  Despite this however, Mary said YES to life.  It is through her YES, her fiat, that Jesus our salvation, came into the world.  Moreover, it might be also be fair to point out that God only asked Mary to be receptive to a child once in her life.  God's will for the Holy Family was to always remain a home of three.  This is also a reminder for us as Catholics, that a marriage that is open-to-life will not always fill a twelve-passenger van.

There are many wonderful Church documents such as Humanae Vitae and the Catechism of the Church that can help us understand the Church's teaching on Christian marriages.  Ultimately, husbands and wives must always pray to follow Mary's example of "thy will be done".  Only He knows what is best for our marriages and families.  It is by following God's will that we can work to build a culture of life... and what is more beautiful than that?

It has come to my attention in my conversations with Jesus lately that I do not know how to say no. I really do not like that word. At first I thought that maybe it was a problem. Many times people have said to me that I do not stand up for myself or say what I want enough. I spent about a day thinking that I need to learn to say no more often and that it is fine to do what I want sometimes. Then I thought of our blessed mother. Her defining moment was her big YES. Why do I dislike the word no??? Because it closes me off to giving myself for others and living my life in service. I made a decision a while back to use my single state in life (for as long as Jesus sees fit) to serve my family and friends. I decided that I would never be selfish with this time in my life. This shows itself in big and small ways, mostly small. In even very little decisions I try to yield to the desires of others. Those little choices make the big ones easier and Therese said to love in the little things. It is the little choices that do not draw attention of anyone but Jesus. He alone knows and he alone is all that matters. I love living for others. I love not choosing my way. I believe that it helps to drive out my natural selfishness that fallen nature has given me. I love that I am able to serve my friends and family any time they need. Society tells us single women that we need to "live it up" because once we get married it is all over. I think that I am working toward better preparing myself for marriage by spending my time living for others. If God one day calls me to marriage I hope that I am better able to serve my husband and children because of years of practice. I am writing this to encourage all of our single readers to take this time in your life to live at the service of others. Don't worry that you will lose yourself or your desires. Quite the opposite, you will become most who God wants you to be. Like Mary, we define ourselves with our Yes's. It is truly and amazingly fulfilling.

PS: I have waiting a long time to write on this subject because I did not want to appear to be tooting my own horn or being prideful. Please make no mistake. All is due to the Holy Spirit and the intercession of Our Lady.

Applause

This blog is for all of you who've joined in the dress dare. CONGRATULATIONS! You have reached the finish line. Just one more day and you've made it an entire month without pants. The thing that I think is most worth of applause, is your openness. This dare, does not come easy to most women in our culture, and I think we've all encountered resistance at some point.

Women are made to be receptive. We were created, physically, emotionally, and spiritually to be receivers, and in order to fulfill this, we must open our souls to the Lord, to His grace, and to those He places in our lives to lead us. The beauty of those who've taken on this dare, is that despite whatever attachments you had, you've embraced the challenge to fight that, for the possibility of growing closer to Christ, and becoming more like His Mother. This alone, makes you more like Mary, because she is our model as the Lord's handmaid. She submitted her entire body and life to Him, though she had no idea all that it would entail.

The feast of the Annunciation is my favorite Marian feast because to me, that is where the moment where she chooses to trust the Lord. We are not all given direct questions by angels, as Mary was, but we are all given the opportunity to embrace God's will each day. We are all called to be His handmaids, His brides, to submit ourselves to Him, no matter what the sacrifice. No sacrifice of ours can compare with what He's done for us, but these sacrifices can be redemptive, and fruitful in our lives, both here on Earth, and in eternity.

Even if you don't see the changes that have occurred in the last month, know that you have likely grown. If nothing else, simply offering your body to Christ, to adorn it modestly, and more as Mary would have (since we've never seen her in pants, even in recent apparitions), and to give up an article of clothing that many find easier and more comfortable, can bear great fruit in your lives. I congratulate you all on being open to growing closer to Christ, and seeking out sanctification. Thank you all for joining me as Sisters in Christ! Knowing that we've been united in this challenge, despite living in various parts of the States and even the world, has made me feel all the more connected to the Body of Christ we find in Holy Mother Church.

P.S. One of our readers recommended this article in a comment and I thought it really captured a lot of our thoughts this month...Cardinal Siri, "Men's Dress Worn By Women"

Saintly Wisdom

"Such is the will of God that we should have everything through Mary."

-St. Alphonsus Liguori

Thanks Moms!

I have one week left until I return home from my five-month "working holiday" in Australia.  My husband, bub (Aussie lingo for baby) and I have been living a beautiful city in the Southern part of the country.  One of the biggest adjustments for me during my time here has been getting used to city living.   Don't get me wrong, I love the trendy cafes, unique boutiques, being able to walk everywhere and the constant hustle and bustle around me.  In fact, it took me several weeks to put my finger on what was missing:  families.

It make sense;  you get married, have a baby and decide to move to the burbs for your house with a white picket fence.  We have all heard this story before.  I just never realized how much encouragement I was receiving at home, from the families, specifically the mothers around me.  I am a beginner when it comes to motherhood, and after a long morning of running errands with a cranky baby, I often make eye contact with another young mom at the check-out, and we smile at each other sympathetically.  It reminds me that I was not alone in this.

While the city is full of young women, many of them probably around my age, it is more difficult to make this connection.  I see them shopping, napping in the park, studying at the cafes, socializing in the bars.  We often exchange smiles, but it is obvious that we do not relate to each other.  All of this has caused me to reflect on the importance of having mommy friends to relate to.  For the past few months, I have been finding my daily encouragement through emails with friends, on facebook, or blogs like this one.  Knowing that Applejacs and her daughter are dealing with similar baby sleep issues gives me an opportunity to offer up my challenges and encourages me that I will eventually get through them.  I feel so grateful for these relationships!

Since Mother's Day is this weekend, I want to say Thank You to all mothers, grandmothers, godmothers, aunties and friends who support novices like me.  Your example gives us hope and inspiration.  Your prayers give us strength and encouragement.  Of course, I have to thank our ultimate model, the Mother of all humanity, the Mother of God.  Mary, you spent most of your life ordinary like us, by feeding your family, nursing your child's wounds, singing lullabies, playing games and caring for your home.  You teach us kindness, humility, service, grace and you give us your love.  Blessed Mother Teresa taught a beautiful and simple prayer:  "Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a Mother to me now".  Please continue to guide us on our journey of motherhood!

Happy Mother's Day to all!

Mary's Beauty

I too, was inspired by this discussion of beauty. I remembered one of my favorite parts of my favorite book, Bishop Fulton Sheen's "Three to Get Married," that I had to look up and share...

In his chapter on reverence for the body, Bishop Sheen discusses how the body is precious because of the preciousness of the soul within it. The body is holy because the soul is holy. He then goes on to describe Mary.

"Mary's beautiful purity must have been such that it attracted less the eyes than the souls of men. No one would have loved her mind or soul because of the beauty of her body, but they would have loved her beauty of soul as almost to forget she even had a body. It is very likely that a human eye, looking on Mary, would scarcely have been conscious that she was beautiful to the eye. Just as corrupt men are made pure in thought by the sight of an innocent child, so all fleshly thoughts would have been left behind by one vision of the Immaculate Mother. As one listens to a consummate artist playing the piano, one forgets that he has hands; so, in the ravishing melodies of Mary's Immaculateness, one would have hardly averted to that fleshly keyboard from which they came...

The cult of the body is best served by the cult of the soul. It is a by-product, not a goal; it is a fruit, not a root. That is why no one ever becomes truly beautiful until he stops trying to make himself beautiful and begins making himself good. Mary was not 'full of grace' because she was beautiful; she was beautiful because she was full of grace."

I could not have compared to the wisdom and beauty of the words of Bishop Fulton Sheen.

Finding Beautiful

We have had several posts recently about being beautiful so I thought it was an appropriate time to reflect with you all about how I came to find true beauty...

When I was a little girl I was a ballerina. I dreamed of one day dancing professionally but when I was in high school puberty didn't treat me so well and in a very short period of time I went from a slender dancer to a chubby teenager. I ended up hurting my knee and used that as my excuse for never having a real dance career. I know it had more to do with my confidence and weight issues. I did not see myself as beautiful. I didn't get much male attention and because I wasn't confident in my looks I failed to see myself as beautiful.

After college I decided I wanted to loose some weight. I not only lost some weight, I lost a lot of weight. I started getting a lot of male attention which encouraged me in my weight loss. (as a side note, I have an amazing Father, so these issues do not always stem from dads) I thought this would make me feel beautiful but honestly it didn't.

Then, two years ago I went on a mission trip to Honduras. It was there that I finally saw what real beauty is. I saw people who the world would not call beautiful but who are the true definition of beautiful. The people I served had a beauty that radiated from the inside out. For the first time in my life I met beauty that felt real and unfading. It was a beauty like what I imagine for the Blessed Mother. After Mary appeared to Saint Bernadette people asked Bernadette to explain what she looked like. She could not describe what she looked like but kept saying that she was the most beautiful lady. Her beauty was not external. It came from the essence of who Mary is. This is the beauty that I was craving. That is the beauty that women are called to bring to this world. It is no wonder I wasn't finding it through all my efforts with my body.

Now I don't worry so much about my weight or if people think I am beautiful physically. Yes I take time to get dressed and not look run down but I know that if I really want to be beautiful I need to make my soul beautiful. My focus is on working towards the beauty that Bernadette saw in our Blessed Mother and the beauty we all saw in Mother Teresa.

So girls, know through the skirt dare that what will make you more beautiful this month is not just the skirts you wear but how you allow your soul to also be a reflection of Mary the true model of femininity. During this month of skirts allow your heart to be open to loving more like her and you will find in yourselves a lasting eternal beauty.

The Imitation of Mary

As many have mentioned in previous posts the Blessed Virgin is our perfect example of femininity as well as motherhood for some of us. May is also the month of Mary so I was thinking we could read a Marian book, such as The Imitation of Mary or The World's First Love, along with wearing our beautiful dresses and skirts. The Imitation of Mary would be easiest for us moms because they are short, but beautiful, meditations with prays at the end about how to imitate Our Lady in our daily lives. I will say thanks to Occultus Matris (how did you get this nickname?) for giving me the idea with her meditation and prayer post yesterday.

The picture to the right is called Innocence and is one of my favorite Marian pictures. Doesn't she look so beautiful and Jesus and the Lamb look so peaceful in her arms? Just thought I would comment on my own post about the picture.

It is now day 4 of the Dress Dare and I am proud to say I am 4 for 4. I must say that wearing skirts really is comfortable. I really do feel more feminine in skirts/dresses. My sister has taken the dare and said she might start wearing skirts/dresses everyday!

Living Holy Week with Mary

For a beautiful Holy Week reflection, listen to this podcast:
http://fkminusa.podbean.com/2010/03/31/living-holy-week-with-mary/

It's got some beautiful thoughts, my favorite is that when Mary looked at Christ suffering, she saw the price of her Immaculate Conception.

Full of Grace

God does not ask the impossible from any of us. What he asked of Mary on the day of the Annunciation, he asks of us every day as well. It is true that rather than asking me to become mother to His Son, God is simply asking me to make dinner for my baby right now. No situation, however is without purpose in God's eyes.

Sometimes we feel overwhelmed, disappointed or frustrated by what God is asking from us, but this is only because we are forgetting that He also offers His grace to assist us. Perhaps Mary did not even understand exactly what Gabriel's proposal meant, and even if she did, she responded as God would want us all to respond- YES, I trust you.

Just like Mary, God asks me to forget myself and accept His will. Not what I envision as His will, or what I believe should be His will, but truly what is presented to me at this moment. Once I accept this truth, I accept His graces, and from there my actions will serve a purpose in His providence.

Dear Mary, help us to follow in your example and be open to our loving God's purpose for us and accept His graces to guide us through our days.

Our Mother and Mediator

My baby spent half of yesterday in tears. The frustrating thing with having an infant, is that although I knew something was hurting him, he was unable to communicate to me what was wrong (other than through crying). He could have been hungry, uncomfortable, or he could have been terribly sick. Because he was unable to help himself, as his mother I was responsible for calling the pediatrician. From there, the doctor helped me assess how we can best help him. Thus, as his mom, I became the mediator for bringing my baby to the physician and helping him feel better.

There are so many times in life when we are unhappy, frustrated, afraid, and unable to help ourselves. Our cries are sometimes very vague, just like those of an infant, because we are not quite sure what is missing. I knew that my baby needed a doctor, and similarly Mary knows that we need her Son. She can act as a mediator and to bring us to Jesus, and even explain to Him what we need, just as she did during the Wedding Feast at Cana. She understands our cries, as a mother understands her baby's needs, and she helps to bring us to our Savior, as a mother helps to bring a baby to the doctor. We are so blessed to have Mary to watch over us! Let us never be afraid to cry to her for help.

Happy Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe

"Hear me and understand well, my son the least, that nothing should frighten or grieve you. Let not your heart be disturbed. Do not fear that sickness, nor any other sickness or anguish. Am I not here, who is your Mother? Are you not under my protection? Am I not your health? Are you not happily within my fold? What else do you wish? Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything." — Our Lady to Juan Diego

Her Story

Our Lady of Guadalupe, Patroness of the Americas, Pray for us!