F is for Femininity

There are so many meanings to femininity - I'm hoping a couple of the other girls chime in on this because as I've been thinking about what to write about and I've come up with about 10,000 ideas. (Or, at least more than 5 anyway...)

1) Do I write about my husband's current favorite bible quote: "Who is she that cometh forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array? " - Song of Solomon 6:10

It's traditionally thought to refer to Mother Mary, and I love it as a broader description of femininity.

2) Do I talk about what wikipedia has down as the "cultural norms" of femininity: Cleavage, Corsets, Foot binding, High heels, Modest dress (specifically Muslim female dress), and Neck rings. (I looked that last one up.) Turns out that in some African and Asian cultures long necks are considered pretty, so they put all these rings around them to make them look longer. Anyway, *what* a list!

3) Do I talk about what Paul VI said in one of his Discourses: "...it is evident that women are meant to form part of the living and working structure of Christianity in so prominent a manner that perhaps not all their potentialities have yet been made clear." And NO, this does not mean that one day women will be priests, that is a male potentiality. A woman's goal in life should not be to try (and fail miserably) to take on as much masculine duties and characteristics as possible. But maybe some future female will explain to the Church how all people can fulfill their calling to true contemplation of God. Maybe women will come to a deeper understanding of why they tend to be "naturally religious" and this realization will change society's whole vision of religion. It could be anything. Who knows?

4) OR I could raddle on about John Paul II's phrase in On the Dignity and Vocation of Women (of which I've only read a tiny bit) "To serve means to reign." He talks about how Mary after giving her fiat at the Annunciation, immediately defines her new relationship "I am the handmaid of the Lord" (Lk 1:38). -- by the way -- I also love that she feels the need to define her relationship. I mean, isn't that always what we girls want to do when we get into a new relationship? Are we just friends? Are we in love? Are we not, but will be? What's the deal?! John Paul II says that Mary by saying this "takes her place with Christ's messianic service." And in Christ's Kingdom, there is a "royal dignity of service;" Christ continually says that He has come to serve. Mary realizes this, and when she is told that she has been chosen to be the Mother of God, immediately sees that she will reign as queen. BUT her reigning will consist of serving. So when she says "I am the handmaid of the Lord," she is also saying that she will be queen.

And do you think that Disney came up with the idea that all girls are princesses? I think not. Since Mary is in many ways the culmination of true femininity, her virtues show us our own feminine virtues God has implanted in us. So when a little girl "randomly" dresses up in a gown and declares herself queen or princess, she is really expressing what Mary expressed at the Annunciation: I am made to reign (but reign by serving).

I should probably stop here since I'm not sure that that last one was all too clear... and since the next idea had to do with Free Will, and our will's submissiveness, and our feminine calling to be submissive to our husband's and ultimately Christ... (and you can land in heresy REALLY easily when talking about Free Will) I should probably just leave off here until I think about it a little more.

I am a woman of God, hear me roar...

I started commenting on Jaunebug's post and apparently had so much to say that I decided to make it a post of its own.  I am only twenty-four hours into the dress dare and I have a lot on my mind...

It is a wonderful time yet a very difficult time to be a woman.  We have more opportunities and choices than ever, but at the same time we feel as though we are being pulled in every direction and stretched in every area of life.

On one hand, they are telling us to focus on our education, earn five or six degrees and put everything into our careers until we are running a major corporation.  There is no time for love and marriage, we must ignore our fertility and wear ugly pant-suits.  Be like men, they tell us, and then you will have power and you will be respected.

On the flip end, our over-sexualized culture and media tells us that we are "empowered" by our feminine bodies.  Our main goal must be to be outwardly beautiful.  Strut, flaunt, show some skin, enhance, tuck, eat this, wear that...  Men will want you, and you will have power over them.  Unfortunately in this case, we are being objectified, used, and reduced to body parts.

Lastly, some tell us to do it ALL. Work full-time, have two children, do the housework, pay the bills, go out with your girlfriends, run the PTA, cook and eat healthy, exercise, get promoted, plan your best friend's wedding and travel with your husband.  We all know that as ideal as this sounds (and it probably sounds more like your life than the other options), it is overall unrealistic and undoubtedly related to the increase in heart disease these days. 

Is there a happy medium in all of these mixed messages?  What about the part when i said that it is a wonderful time to be a woman?  This is when I am so grateful for my faith. 

I have strong and feminine modern day saints to lead me and pray for me.  Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta was literally called to change the world, by loving the poorest of the poor.  St. Gianna Beretta Molla was a working mother, (a physician!), who laid down her life so that her baby could live.  And of course I have Mary, the model of all women and femininity, to pray for me and to guide me to her son.

As women today in the United States, our opportunities are endless.  So how do we chose, if we can't do it all?  We don't.  Rather, we listen to what God wants from us.  God knows what is best for us and if we stay close to Him, follow his guidance and give of ourselves through love, we will fulfill our vocation as women.  We will be strong AND feminine, we will be respected AND beautiful.  For some women, this will mean a life of service.  For some it will mean a life of prayer.  For some it will mean a career (though I doubt He will require a pantsuit from you).   For some it will mean marriage.  For most, it will mean motherhood, either physically or spiritually.  For many, it will include little bits of everything. 

God gave every human being equal dignity, but he created men and he created women. He made us different and complementary, as a part of His greater plan.  He created YOU for a purpose.  "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb" (Ps 139:13).   Being a woman today means so many things, all reflective of His greatness.  So I dare you to wear your skirt because you love being a woman, and let's stand united in a new feminism that always shines forth God's greatness and love.