Pray Without Ceasing

Every new school year, I find myself re-examining my habits. The last few years I have been teaching religious education classes at our local parish. While I'm getting ready for the new school year, getting ideas together for how I want to teach my students the beauty of the Catholic Church, I often examine what I want to leave with them. I know that one of the things that I remember most about my teachers wasn't so much what they taught but the example they gave me when they taught. Knowing this, I examine myself and how I want to grow as a person, wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, teacher, ect in my spiritual life. One thing I constantly find myself lacking in is daily prayer. I have found that if I have a certain action that I attach a certain prayer to I tend to remember to say the prayer. So, I'm coming up with some different actions that will remind me to pray throughout the day. Things that I do every day and offering up everything I do throughout the day and night to God through prayer. Here is how I will be trying to change my prayer life, obviously I will need a lot of work (so pray for me!) in order to make it an actual routine. I know I will forget and fall many, many, many, many times, but I think that it is important to make time to always pray, and to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Sometimes it will be joint with my husband and my kids, sometimes it may just be in my heart. This way our whole family can get in the habit of praying all the time while our children our still so young.

Most of the time my son wakes me up in the morning, so when he wakes me up, we can start our day with the Sign of the Cross and a quick prayer together. For example, Thank you God for waking us up to start a new day. Please be with us and guide us in everything we do and say today.

At breakfast we say our mealtime grace, at the same time as grace we always Thank God for our family and our Godchildren/people we have sponsored for confirmation each individually by name (for example, Thank you for Mommy, Daddy, Kid 1, Kid 2, ect, Godchild/sponsored confirmed by order that they received the Sacrament). That way we are always praying for each other.

During lunch and dinner time, we say the same grace with thanking God for everyone.

Throughout the day, if I'm driving around, playing with the kids outside, or taking my kids on a walk.I try to either listen to praise music or pray the rosary. Either way, I try to keep my focus on God and figuring out what He is calling me to do according to His will.

When playing with my kids throughout the day, I can thank God for the gift of my children and that I am able to stay at home with them.

When I'm doing the dishes or cleaning, I can thank God simply for the sacrifice (those chores are by far not my favorite part of being a wife/mother) of doing something for my husband and children that will often go unnoticed, until it doesn't get done of course.

While I'm cooking dinner, I can thank God for the ability to feed my family and pray for those who do not have enough to eat that day.

If I haven't driven around or have not said/finished my rosary, right before the kids go to bed we can say a family rosary. After the initial fight of making the kids sit down and focus (which can be very difficult for a toddler), saying the rosary before bed calms them down and gets them ready to fall asleep (if they don't fall asleep during the rosary...BONUS!)

And finally before finally closing my eyes, a prayer of thanksgiving for the blessings of that day!

How do you pray without ceasing?

Laying Down a Proper Foundation for Family

"Every one then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house upon the rock, and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat upon that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock." -Matthew 7:24-27

I have been reflecting this week, about what kind of foundation I have laid for myself, my marriage and my family.  I know that this is the healthy order that things should be in.  Despite this, I often feel as though I am working backwards.

My most obvious goals encourage and inspire me to focus on my family's foundation daily: I strive to build a healthy, strong, attached relationship with my children;  I pray with them everyday; I teach them about the faith; I work hard to correct and develop their character and I make an effort to encourage lasting and healthy habits.  My husband and I talk about our future plans for our children and family, and what would like for our children to be like as young men.  We arrange family activities to bond and play and we go to mass together.  We make mistakes often, but are also very committed to building a strong foundation for our (still very young) family.

I also take time to focus on my marriage.  In five years we have already seen many fruits that have come from the graces of the sacrament of matrimony.  My husband and I make an effort to connect daily, and we genuinely enjoy each other.  We make spiritual goals together and help keep each other accountable with our struggles and our attempts to grow in virtue.  Do we pray together everyday?  Not really.  Shouldn't something like prayer be the basic foundation of our marriage?  Definitely.  Will we withstand rain, floods and winds?  By the grace of God we will-- but I know that there is still foundational work left to do in this department.

And then there is me.  I have been meditating about what kind of foundation I have built my house on.  I often feel unsure that it is rock, in fact on some days my foundation even feels like quick sand!  And although I could go into many, (many) examples about why I feel this way, my most urgent question is how this impacts the natural progression of my vocation-- in my personal relationship with God, my relationship with my husband, and my relationship with my children.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that if the first is strong, the laters will follow in a similar path.  I will never be able to love my husband enough if I do not love God first, and let Him work through my marriage.  My children will never grasp or believe any prayers, catechesis or a desire for the faith if they don't SEE me living my life out of LOVE for God.  My foundation matters, not only to me, but to my husband and family.  In fact, our sanctity might just depend on it.

As mothers, it is very easy to push our own needs aside, our spiritual needs included.  I understand that my vocation will not allow me to spend hours in adoration or pray the liturgy of the hours uninterrupted on a daily-basis.  I also understand that in living out a mother's spirituality, there will be days when the only formal prayers I will say will be the simple prayers I say with my children-- but if I do it out of true love for my Creator and and actually PRAY (instead of just reciting with or mimicking my preschoolers), then I will have seized an opportunity to strengthen my home.   I am a part of my marriage and family's foundation, and it is up to no one but myself to pray for wisdom and to work to build my life on rain, flood and wind-withstanding rock.

(http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:%22Rock_and_Cloud,_Kings_River_Canyon_(Proposed_as_a_national_park),%22_California,_1936.,_ca._1936_-_NARA_-_519927.jpg)

Month of Mary

Just a little food for thought before May is over...
The following is taken from the May 2012 Magnificat and is by Heather King:

"At the cross her station keeping/ Stood the mournful Mother weeping/ Close to Jesus at the last." Thus runs the thirteenth-century Latin hymn known as the Stabat Mater: "The mother was standing."

Still standing.  Through giving birth in a stable: still standing.  Through a prophecy that her heart would be pieced by a sword: still standing.  Through watching from the foot of the cross as her Son was totured to death: still standing.  In the three to fifteen years she purportedly lived after Christ died: still standing, still believing, still finding joy and meaning.

Mary, who probably couldn't read but who took care of the baby and cooked the meals, is our greatest saint.  To be a mother is to stretch yourself as far as you can possibly go.  It is to say, There! That is everything I have; that is my blood, my heart, my bone marrow.  And it is then to be called to give in yet a different way, a different direction.  Just when the mother wants to rest, she is called to more openness of heart, more self-emptying, more patience, more work, more letting go, more love....

Mary knew better than anyone, next to Christ himself, the suffering of the cross.  For a mother to witness the brutal execution of an innocent Son- the fruit of her deepest procreative urge, the object of her most profound self-giving- is perhaps the most excruciating form of suffering a woman can endure.  A mother would die for her child, Mary watched her child die for her.

"Mary was the Mother Incarnate and her sacrifice was quite simply the complete acceptance of that which happened to her Son, which meant the death of every shred of possessiveness,"  writes Dante scholar Helen M. Luke.

The death of possessiveness; the birth of God.  "My soul doth magnify the Lord," Mary sang, heavy with child, as she journeyed to visit her cousin Elizabeth in "the hill country."  What simplicity.  What confidence.  What humility.  What purity-for in order to magnify God, you have to become transparent yourself. 

We are all so afraid of falling through the cracks, of being forgotten, of aging, of dying.  But if you don't want to be forgotten, we learn from Mary, value your soul more than success or riches or fame.  Serve Christ instead of yourself.  Become a model of creative suffering, patient endurance, and the erotic urge channeled, contained, and focused into a white-hot flame.

For purity endures. It is Mary who is venerated throughout the world, from the lowest places to the highest, not Cleopatra.  It is Mary to whom we pray the rosary, not Marilyn Monroe.  It is Mary we appeal to for help, for comfort, for solace, for understanding, not Salome.

Every follower of Christ spends a long "December"- maybe many Decembers - in a stable.  But May means to burst, with Mary, ever Virgin, into our fullest, most fecund flower.--

Holy Saturday

Holy Saturday has always been a rather weird day for me.

Jesus is dead and buried, but we know He's going to rise on Sunday. So you feel somber but also excited for the next day. You feel weird doing an Easter Egg hunt, but also know that the pain has ended (and it just works out better time-wise that way). I make my mom's Easter bread to get ready for Sunday, but am not sure if I should watch a movie while doing it. After all, Lent's done. The 40 days are spent, right? Usually end up watching something "God-ish" by way of merging the two. After that I'm not sure what to do. Mostly, I feel like I'm waiting for something. Which I am. But what to do in the mean time? Most years... yard work.

Just a weird day. Why put it in there?

This year, however, I understand.

My husband and I miscarried our 3rd baby a couple weeks ago. And what I felt after we found out, I still do not understand. I was sad that our baby was gone. In fact, by the time we found out, they figure the baby had been dead for at least a week. But, being of faith, I knew that our baby was in Heaven, happier than anyone around me. But I wasn't ready for that. I couldn't focus yet on our risen little one. I needed time to feel confused and mourn. His death was complete, I just had the effects to deal with. I knew that I would soon feel better, feel his prayers for myself and my family working in my life. I just needed time.

I needed a Holy Saturday.

Imitating Jesus

A few nights ago I was bathing my toddler, when my mind began to wander.  Overall, we truly enjoy bath time in our home.  On this night however, my husband was working late, the house was a disaster, my son had been overtired and cranky all afternoon, and I was battling first-trimester nausea and (i'll admit it) a bit of boredom.  As a result, I was daydreaming of all of the other things I would rather be doing at that moment...

This train of thought led me to Applejacs' recent post, which created a discussion between working and stay-at-home moms.  I started to pray, "dear Lord, is this really where you want me right now?  Is this the best use of the time and gifts you have given me?"

Almost immediately, as I poured water onto my sons' back, I was hit with the beautiful image of Jesus washing his apostles' feet.  Jesus serving others, lovingly, willingly.  Wow, was I quickly humbled!

Oftentimes, women feel that careers are a ladder to making a "real" difference in the world, or doing something most important and challenging.  I think that when we truly search within ourselves and our current situation, however tedious it may seem, we find so many opportunities that Christ gives us to imitate Him, and to serve others, and to act out of love.  My faith teaches me that nothing this world offers is more important than this.

Perhaps I wasn't saving the world that night in any big way, but with a little added love, I was suddenly helping to do Christ's work on earth.

Adoption as the First choice

I was reading the co-sleeping article that applejacs posted. I have also read articles on the La Leche league website that explain the SIDS is increasing because children are not sleeping near their parents at night and therefore not able to mimic the parent's breathing patterns at night. Children need to learn how to breathe at night and if they are by the mother they will pick up on this pattern.

Anywho... at the bottom of the article I saw this link and as a couple that is currently considering adoption, I took a moment to browse it!
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/03/adoption-as-first-choice.html

I really appreciated that it reminded me that adoption is not just a "second choice" but rather an active choice in how to have children.

My husband's family adopted his oldest sibling and he's always been interested in the idea. I can't stand when people think we are "giving up" on having children of our own if we are considering adoption. Some people have said "what's the rush you haven't been trying that long!" My answer is - We want 8 kids, so at a year and a half with no kids, we've waited long enough in our opinion. Also, we want to give these children that don't have homes, a home. And just in case you were going to ask me what happens if we get pregnant while we are adopting (I also read that only happens in 5% of cases) we'll have 2 babies! I would never take a child into my home and then send him/her on their way because I got pregnant. Would you get rid of your first child if you got pregnant right away with another one? We would simply have our 2 of 8.

Stand By Your Man

We recently had a blog about the crisis in our culture today with real men being a rarity. I find this incredibly true, but am blessed to have a found one of those rare ones who is my protector, my prince, and our family's provider. However, I find myself, on a weekly, if not daily basis, fighting the urge towards my man from Genesis, to not be a nag. I find it incredibly difficult at times to be a supportive wife, and to always appreciate his sacrifice for our family.

My husband doesn't have a 9-5 job. He travels frequently, unexpectedly, may work weekends, evenings, and then there are days where he may leave the house at 10am and be home at 4pm. I knew this was how it was when I married him. Two weeks before our wedding he was in 17 different cities in 19 days. Yes, his job is slightly insane, but enough about that.

The bottom line is, I should not be complaining! I am able to be a mother to my children. I am the one that is there for the 1st words, 1st steps, to put a band aid on that 1st big boo boo. I may be exhausted at the end of the day, but how much more would I be if I had to go to work first and then scrape the bottom of my barrel of energy to try to give to my husband & children. I am confident that my husband would do whatever he had to, if it meant night shifts and picking up garbage to keep me at home, raising our children. Before I call him in the evenings, asking when he'll be home for dinner, if he'll be home, I need to pray a prayer of thanksgiving for the fact that I was able to cook a nutritious meal for our family with what my husband has provided for us.

We women who have found these rare, real men, who follow Our Father's command "to till the earth," need to recognize the gift our Lord has given us. We need to thank our husbands daily for their work, and support them in every way possible. I am writing this not just to remind anyone reading, but mostly because I need to remind myself. These men need us to be taking care of their children, keeping house, and giving them a joyful, warm place to retreat to because that will empower them all the more to go out and work the next day, and make them rush out the door to come home to us as soon as their job is done. Call me old fashioned, I am, but I think appreciating these manly men is one step to making men out of our boys.

Anyone have any tips on how to thank/appreciate one's husband and the work he does for the family? (I will also add that my husband served in the navy for a year and he attributes that training to the development of self-discipline in his life)

The Best Doula Around

For those of you for whom pregnancy is easy, you never cease to amaze me.  Pregnancy is always wonderful (because it just is), but for most of us out there, it is TOUGH.  Sacrifices come in all (strange) forms, from constant nausea, backaches, exhaustion, teenage-worthy skin breakouts, swollen bodies, insomnia, mood swings, the inability to poop... and the list goes on.

I have been feeling a little uncomfortable myself lately, and despite the joy I have about being entrusted with a new little soul, day-to-day living has been challenging.  Through my first pregnancy, I was early on given the wise advice to turn to Mary.  Mary went through a pregnancy, and she is our blessed mother.  Of course it makes sense to ask her for help!  She has an understanding of what we are going through.

I had a fantastic new thought occur to me this time around however.  I was meditating on the mystery of the Visitation, when Mary (with child) visited Elizabeth, to serve her and help her through the end of her pregnancy.  I was thinking about Elizabeth, who was past child-bearing age, and how difficult a pregnancy must have been for her, this late in life.  Mary stayed with Elizabeth for 3 months to serve; probably helping her with housework, making meals, rubbing her swollen feet and trying to make Elizabeth feel more comfortable.

And so here is my epiphany:  Mary took care of Elizabeth during her pregnancy!  Why wouldn't she take care of all pregnant women?

Lately, I've been asking Mary to stay with me, like she did with Elizabeth.  To come live in my home for these next months, and to help me to face my daily challenges.  Not only did Mary go through it herself, but she also lovingly took care of her pregnant cousin.  It goes without saying that Mary will lovingly care for any pregnant woman that turns to her.

To All Brave Mothers

"We would like to pay homage to all brave mothers who dedicate themselves to their own family without reserve, who suffer in giving birth to their children and who are ready to make any effort, to face any sacrifice, in order to pass on to them the best of themselves... How hard they have to fight against difficulties and danger!  How frequently they are called to face genuine 'wolves' determined to snatch and scatter the flock!  And these heroic mothers do not always find support in their surroundings.  On the contrary, the cultural models frequently promoted and broadcast by the media do not encourage motherhood.  In the name of progress and modernity, the values of fidelity, chastity, sacrifice, in which a host of Christian wives and mothers have distinguished themselves, are presented as obsolete.  As a result, a woman who is determined to be consistent in her principles often feels deeply alone, alone in her love which she cannot betray, and to which she must remain faithful.  Her guiding principle is Christ, who has revealed the love which the Father bestows on us.  A woman who believes in Christ finds a powerful support precisely in this love that bears everything..."

-Pope John Paul II

On the beautification of St. Gianna Beretta Molla

New Traditions

My husband and I are very fond of traditions, given our Catholic faith, which is so rich in them. We applied it to our courtship with weekly rituals, (Monday gift days, Wednesday communication, Friday date nights), and now are growing with family traditions. The holidays are such a beautiful opportunity to create family traditions, and with each year, we're building more and more.

I thought this article was great food for thought for every Catholic family. I think we'll be adding this tradition this year. Other new ones we're taking on this Advent is celebrating the feast days during this time. We are celebrating St. Nicholas's feast and had our little girl set out one of her boots outside her bedroom last night, and this morning, she had a little gift of some new hair clips inside. It wasn't anything pricy or opulent, but her face lit up with surprise and excitement when she saw that her boot had been filled while she slept.

Another neat tradition we've started is a Jesse tree. I drew the stump and our 2 year old made leaves by fingerpainting green leaves, and each day, we add some magazine clipping or draw something signifying a moment or person in salvation history. For example, Creation- stars and moon, Noah- a picture of a ship, Passover- a lamb, David-a harp, The Visitation-an angel, The Nativity- a picture of a newborn baby, etc... It's a great way to teach little ones the various stories that lead to Jesus birth, and the salvation of the world.

Just a few ideas to keep the focus on the real reason for the season!

May God bless you and your families this advent. O Come, O Come, Emmanuel!

Through His Little Eyes

I have often felt somewhat peeved by those who begin their celebration of Christmas too early.  Nowadays stores shelves are stocked with candy canes amidst back-to-school supplies, Santa costumes are on display next to jack-o-lanterns, and the radio starts its Christmas programming before thanksgiving weekend.  The main source of my frustration is that come December 26, everybody is so tired of carols and eggnog that Christmas trees are immediately put out for trash and the occasion is over.  Don't they realize that the Christmas season is weeks long?  For this reason, I try to hold off on Christmas-ing, and focus on preparations during advent...

Until this year, that is.  It is still early November and I have already broken all of my rules.  There is a Christmas CD in my car, and I have stopped to admire the decorated trees at the mall.  My pantry is stocked with red and green candies for holiday baking, and I have already checked off a couple of items on my gift shopping list.

What has caused my insanity?  I can put the blame entirely on the wonderful little person currently living under my roof.

Technically it is not his first Christmas.  Last year we dressed up our little 8-month old in festive pajamas and drove around so he could see the lighted homes in our neighborhood.  He learned how to unwrap gifts, and ate his first bite of honey-glazed ham.  Somehow though, it is very different this year.  And I can hardly wait for it all!

I cannot wait to teach him the words to the french carols I grew up with, and to sing happy birthday to Jesus.  I cannot wait to see him play with our nativity set and let him decorate some sugar cookies.  This year I can teach him about the individual decorations on our family's tree.  We can wish others a Merry Christmas together, and snuggle in our jammies by the fireplace.  I can wake him up on Christmas morning, give him a goody-filled stocking and share in his excitement-- the excitement I remember feeling as a child.  This year, I can experience Christmas through his eyes as he soaks in the love and joy that envelops the world during this season.  This year, the family traditions REALLY begin-- traditions that will hopefully continue for many more years.

So perhaps I am a little more anxious to get to December 25th than usual...  But with advent only 2 weeks away, can you honestly blame me?

Making Every Penny Count

My husband and I use a household budget to keep track of what comes in financially, and especially of what comes out.  One area that we really struggle with month after month, is our grocery budget.  The causes for this constantly puzzles me.  Although I admit that I do pick up an impulse buy once in awhile, we waste very little food overall.  For a small family our size though, the numbers never seem to add up--  We are spending too much!  For this reason, we decided that it was time to take try some new techniques that will hopefully make our grocery shopping more gentle on the wallet.

The first thing we have tried for this month is to create a Monthly Meal Plan.  In the past I planned our weekday dinners for the week (weekends I just left up in the air since our routine varies).  About a week before October 1st however, I printed a calendar online and started filling in the days with dinners and making my shopping list.  I marked several days with "Leftovers" or "Take Out", and tried to consider our work schedules and any events we will be attending.  Next, we made an enormous grocery trip for all of the ingredients we would need during the month.  I still planned a weekly trip to the store to pick up any fresh produce needed, but mostly we stocked our freezer and our pantry, and bought as many bulk items as appropriate.  

We are exactly halfway through the month, and things are going very well.  The meal plan has been a blessing in many ways.  It has reduced the stress of last-minute "whats for dinner?", and has also forced me to make less trips to the grocery store (thus reducing impulse buys).  I am already planning on trying to choose meals according to items on sale next month, to try to save even more money.

The second technique that we are experimenting with is coupon-clipping.  We decided to subscribe to the Sunday newspaper, and have started gathering coupons for items that we are likely to purchase.  I also registered with a few products that I am loyal to (Pampers, Target), so that that they would send me coupons, or notify me about sales.  I did not grow up in a family that uses coupons, and part of me still has doubts that $.50 off here and 1$ off there will make a big different, but I am willing to give it a try.  I honestly hope to prove myself wrong!

I do not think that we will hit our budget goal exactly by the end of this month, but we are making improvements, and I think that with practice we will get there.  I thought that it would be fun to share this adventure with other young adults learning the ropes of family life, and also ask-- What do you do to stretch your dollar?  Any additional advice for young families?

E is for Eucharist

I remember the days when I used to love starting off my morning with daily mass.  I would bring my magnificat with me to follow along with the prayers and readings, and I would break fast with the eternal heavenly breakfast of champions- the Eucharist.  I always walked out feeling centered on Christ and ready to tackle my day.

It is disappointing to say, but lately going to mass with a young toddler leaves me feeling nothing but exhausted.  Even when he behaves it is challenging to pay attention to readings and focus on prayer.  We spend most of the time walking around the church, going in and out of the blessed sacrament chapel, looking through picture books and taking short breaks outside.  Although I still subscribe to my magnificat, it spends most of its time at home on my coffee table.  Basically I do whatever it takes to keep my baby calm during mass and to make it to communion so that I can receive Jesus.

I am often tempted to consider "what's the point?"  Am I truly feeding my soul by being physically present but distracted in every other way?  That is when I have to remind myself that God chose the vocation of motherhood for me.  If He wanted me to spend my day in prayer, I would be a religious, not a Mom.  I may not be receiving very many graces through prayer at mass anymore, but I have to trust that I am earning those graces in other ways, mainly by taking care of my son.  And when will I be in a better state to take care of my baby than after receiving Jesus in the Eucharist?

B is for Barfing

Seriously.

Two days ago I awoke to my daughter coughing weird. I jumped out of bed (something that rarely happens) and picked my baby up just in time to get thrown up on. Dad cleaned up the floor, Mom cleaned up the girl.

Yesterday, I awoke early for something and just as I was about to go back to bed, I heard her start to cry, went to change her, and was once again un-swallowed on. As Dad was gone, Mom cleaned up both girl and floor. (But once Dad got home, our little one re-enacted the whole thing, so he once again took floor, I girl.)

And this morning, since we are completely inexperienced parents, when our little girl asked for eggs, we gave her "just a little." That little somehow magically multiplied like the loaves and fishes and ended up all over (however, I was able to dodge the main stream this time). Baby wanted Mom, Dad wanted to take care of the floor, and basically the very natural process of a mother caring for her sick one unfolded.

For all you moms out there...

"Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love" - Mildred B. Vermont

Being Open to Life

I was recently reflecting about the "openness to life" that our faith calls married couples to.  I realize that this can be a hot topic for many faithful Catholics regarding when/why using Natural Family Planning is morally acceptable. Nevertheless, this debate is not my focus.  Instead I found myself reflecting on the annunciation.

These days it seems as though there are many more "reasons" NOT to have children than ever.  For example, society says that simply being a "newlywed" qualifies couples to refrain from openness to life.  For some newlyweds the adjustment to marriage may constitute a serious reason to postpone children, but this (and other grave factors) are not what I am referring to.  Isn't it odd that babies who arrive 9 months after a honeymoon are suprising (and few) nowadays?  Society tells us to take two, five, ten years to get to know each other, buy a home, travel ect... and then we can start thinking about "trying".  Perhaps it is not the children who should be postponed, but rather the wedding date!

When we examine Mary's situation from our own cultural perspective, we realize that she had every reason not to be open to life.  She was barely a teenager, very poor and unmarried.   If you consider the world she lived in, these reasons could constitute even more graveness than they would today.  There was no Medicaid, no crisis pregnancy centers or shelters, and adultery could be punished by death.  Despite this however, Mary said YES to life.  It is through her YES, her fiat, that Jesus our salvation, came into the world.  Moreover, it might be also be fair to point out that God only asked Mary to be receptive to a child once in her life.  God's will for the Holy Family was to always remain a home of three.  This is also a reminder for us as Catholics, that a marriage that is open-to-life will not always fill a twelve-passenger van.

There are many wonderful Church documents such as Humanae Vitae and the Catechism of the Church that can help us understand the Church's teaching on Christian marriages.  Ultimately, husbands and wives must always pray to follow Mary's example of "thy will be done".  Only He knows what is best for our marriages and families.  It is by following God's will that we can work to build a culture of life... and what is more beautiful than that?

The Sacrifice of Motherhood

At the moment, God is making me very aware of my calling to sacrifice myself, physically for my children. My belly is rapidly expanding with no signs of slowing, while my toddler still very much likes to be carried most of the day, and when I'm not carrying her, I'm usually chasing her around or on my feet doing housework. My body shape is also changing with this pregnancy, and per doctor's orders, I need to resist the urge to work out, and let my body focus on the life growing inside of it. I'm no hero. I'm just fulfilling my basic duties as a wife and mother. While I've been given these physical means to give of myself, they are only opportunities for grace if I offer myself properly. The truth is, we are all called, as women to motherhood, and it is that giving of oneself for another to nurture souls, that makes us all spiritual mothers.

Whether single, married, consecrated, with or without physical children, we all have a choice to accept or reject our privilege to nurture souls. I have single friends who spend their days educating teens in the faith, taking nights and weekends to help students in extracurricular activities like service projects. Others who go to school during the week themselves, and then spend their free time in youth ministry. I know of others who've taken the time while they're single to offer themselves as missionaries for a year at a time in various parts of the world. They show me, how to give of oneself completely to God, and to others.

However, there are many single people who choose not to accept this time to give of themselves in a unique way. They may spend their evenings after work or weekends at bars or parties, involving themselves with men who aren't interested or prepared for marriage, and they wind up losing precious opportunities for growth in virtue. They may find themselves years from now in a particular vocation, wishing they'd better prepared themselves with all the time they had when they were unattached. There's also married women with children who may go on numerous "girls' vacations" just with their friends (can be good at times, just when balanced properly), spending time away from their families, or neglect their relationships with their spouses and children by spending too much time wrapped up in the things of this world. One mom even told me recently that some of her friends would "sleep train" their children at 6 months of age, leaving them in their crib with the door closed, and going downstairs, turning on music and drinking a glass of wine to drown out their infant's cries for his mother. It's very easy to live selfishly no matter what your state in life.

As women, we have a unique characteristic that makes us capable of nurturing souls in a way men can't. Teachers and nurses are most often careers that women pursue, not just because of the schedules. As someone who went through nursing school with men, from my observations, women just make better nurses (though I will say that men can make fantastic ER, OR, or ICU nurses because of their calm, less emotional manner and physical strength). But when you are bringing a wife and daughter in a room to see their dad on a ventilator for the first time after a heart attack, and the doctor is no where to be found, there is something about a woman, whether she's a mother or not, that makes her more capable of guiding these suffering people through this experience with warmth and care. Women are blessed with a particular grace that, if we accept it, can change the world one person at a time.

Just in the last week, my mom has continued to mother me and her granddaughter, as I was on bed-rest. She woke up a the crack of dawn to cook us dinner, then braved traffic for an hour minimum commute to take my very active toddler for the day, and then make the drive back home in the evening. Though she was taking care of my daughter for most of the day, she was still the most in tune with whatever I needed. No one can replace a mom, or compete when it comes to caring for someone. I'll admit, I can't compete with my mother-in-law when it comes to taking care of my husband, though hopefully, with God's grace, I grow to love my husband as selflessly as she does.

We are all called to mother, no matter what state we're in, to feed immortal souls with love, and truth. Mary, Mother of God, and spiritual Mother to all of us on this Earth, pray for us.

Happy Mother's Day

"The eternal mystery of generation, which is in God himself, the one and Triune God (cf. Eph 3:14-15), is reflected in the woman's motherhood and in the man's fatherhood.  Human parenthood is something shared by both the man and the woman.  Even if the woman, out of love for her husband, says:  'I have given you a child,' her words also mean: 'This is our child.' Although both of them together are parents of their child, the woman's motherhood constitutes a special 'part' in this shared parenthood, and the most demanding part.  Parenthood- even though it belongs to both- is realized much more fully in the woman, especially in the prenatal period.  It is the woman who 'pays' directly for this shared generation, which literally absorbs her energies of her body and soul.  It is therefore that the man be fully aware that in their shared parenthood he owes a special debt to the woman.  No program of 'equal rights' between women and men is valid unless it takes this fact fully into account."

Mulieris Dignitatem, Pope John Paul II

Thanks Moms!

I have one week left until I return home from my five-month "working holiday" in Australia.  My husband, bub (Aussie lingo for baby) and I have been living a beautiful city in the Southern part of the country.  One of the biggest adjustments for me during my time here has been getting used to city living.   Don't get me wrong, I love the trendy cafes, unique boutiques, being able to walk everywhere and the constant hustle and bustle around me.  In fact, it took me several weeks to put my finger on what was missing:  families.

It make sense;  you get married, have a baby and decide to move to the burbs for your house with a white picket fence.  We have all heard this story before.  I just never realized how much encouragement I was receiving at home, from the families, specifically the mothers around me.  I am a beginner when it comes to motherhood, and after a long morning of running errands with a cranky baby, I often make eye contact with another young mom at the check-out, and we smile at each other sympathetically.  It reminds me that I was not alone in this.

While the city is full of young women, many of them probably around my age, it is more difficult to make this connection.  I see them shopping, napping in the park, studying at the cafes, socializing in the bars.  We often exchange smiles, but it is obvious that we do not relate to each other.  All of this has caused me to reflect on the importance of having mommy friends to relate to.  For the past few months, I have been finding my daily encouragement through emails with friends, on facebook, or blogs like this one.  Knowing that Applejacs and her daughter are dealing with similar baby sleep issues gives me an opportunity to offer up my challenges and encourages me that I will eventually get through them.  I feel so grateful for these relationships!

Since Mother's Day is this weekend, I want to say Thank You to all mothers, grandmothers, godmothers, aunties and friends who support novices like me.  Your example gives us hope and inspiration.  Your prayers give us strength and encouragement.  Of course, I have to thank our ultimate model, the Mother of all humanity, the Mother of God.  Mary, you spent most of your life ordinary like us, by feeding your family, nursing your child's wounds, singing lullabies, playing games and caring for your home.  You teach us kindness, humility, service, grace and you give us your love.  Blessed Mother Teresa taught a beautiful and simple prayer:  "Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a Mother to me now".  Please continue to guide us on our journey of motherhood!

Happy Mother's Day to all!

A Reflection From Mother Teresa

"I do not understand why some people are saying that women and men are exactly the same, and are denying the beautiful differences between men and women. All God's gifts are good, but they are not all the same. As I often say to people who tell me that they would like to serve the poor as I do, "What I can do, you cannot. What you can do, I cannot. But together we can do something beautiful for God." It is just this way with the differences between women and men.

God has created each one of us, every human being, for greater things-- to love and to be loved. But why did God make some of us men and others women? Because a woman's love is one image of the love of God, and a man's love is another image of God's love. Both are created to love, but each in a different way. Woman and man complete each other, and together show forth God's love more fully than either can do it alone.

That special power of loving that belongs to a woman is seen most clearly when she becomes a mother. Motherhood is the gift of God to women. How grateful we must be to God for this wonderful gift that brings such joy to the whole world, women and men alike! Yet we can destroy this gift of motherhood, especially by the evil of abortion, but also be thinking that other things like jobs or positions are more important than loving, than giving oneself to others. No job, no plans, no possessions, no idea of "freedom" can take the place of love. So anything that destroys God's gift of motherhood destroys His most precious gift to women-- the ability to love as a woman."

http://www.catholic.org/clife/teresa/quotes.php