So, three months ago, I bore our little son. Being our third baby here (one in heaven), we prepared for his coming in all different ways: boy clothes, new diaper inserts, switching rooms around, re-reading birthing techniques books, etc., etc.We also prepared ourselves for the main attack: other people's comments.
I had heard horror stories from my friends about the comments you'll get about how you're overpopulating the world and you must be having kids because you have nothing better to do, or just exclamations of "3 in 4 years!" or "Better you than me!" and the like.
Now, I am that classic person who can never think of a good response until about 2 hours after I should have said it. And for some reason I was determined not to let someone say something rude without having a good response. So I thought for oh... 9 months about what I would say. I'd play different scenarios in my head and come up with snappy replies. If they say this; I'll say THIS! If that, I'll quip back THAT! No unthinking pseudo-intellectual grocery shopper will get the better of me! (Because, really, don't all those comments happen when shopping for groceries?)
However, for the past 3 months, I've been completely caught off-guard by people's comments. So loving. So kind. I walk down an isle and I swear some women start to coo. I live in the Northwest where people are known to be standoff-ish, but I have had more people talk to me since having our little one than I ever remember before. They stop me and tell me all about how they had 3 kids and how they just loved them. How their kids were close together, and how much they loved playing together (and are still close as adults!). How they love that my girls are in pretty girly clothes and my boy is in blue. How cute he is. How cute the girls are. How they can tell the girls are good big sisters. How much they want a baby. How much just seeing the kids gives them the baby bug. How their grandkids are about my kids' ages. Sometimes we'll get told funny stories of what their kids used to do when they were little (and now the grandkids are doing the same things, which made the granddad who told us one story SO happy!)
Honestly, it is almost overpowering.
The last time I went to the store a lady stopped me and we must have talked for about 10 minutes (baby was asleep and the girls just weighed our bag of tomatoes about 4,982 times). Turns out she has 3 kids, 2 girls and a boy. They have grown up and now she is expecting her first grandchild in Jan. and her second in March. She told me all about them and ended with "They are wonderful. Just wonderful." Then she looked at mine for a couple seconds and said "And so are yours. I can tell. They will be wonderful!"
I love it. I love all of it. It's not that we didn't used to get comments. We definitely did before, but it's different now. People are more open. I somehow think it's because it's expected that you'll have 1 or 2 kids. But 3 kids - especially so close together - you only have on purpose. You only have because you love having kids. And everyone loves kids. Even grouchy people smile when a baby smiles at them. And so I feel like I have a sign on me saying "Yes. I obviously love kids. Come tell me if you do too!"
So when I do get some negative comment, which I'm sure I will, and I forget my planned out, snappy response, I hope I remember all the loving comments. I also hope the grouch gets stuck in line with me while a chatty grandma who is missing her grandkids decides to dote on mine. Then they'll witness the only natural and proper response to kids: love.
