Shabby Apple on Groupon!

I've found another AMAZING deal today ladies. On our links page, in the fashion section you'll find a link to Shabby Apple. They sell adorably vintage dresses and skirts that are modest. Today on Groupon (choose LA as your city, it's the side deal) they are offering a $100 voucher to their store for $40 - 60% off!!!!

A Surprising Change

While getting dressed yesterday, I had an unexpected experience. I was going to be out all day and wanted to throw a pair of jeans in the car in case it got chilly in the evening. I hadn't worn my maternity jeans for a month, so I figured I'd try them on first to see which ones fit most comfortably. Turns out, none of them did.

Apparently, in the last month, my legs and backside have expanded with this pregnancy, especially since I had to stop exercising and rest for the last month. It could be that I was also very sensitive to the tightness of pants in general after wearing flowy dresses and skirts for 31 days straight, but these were just not comfortable, nor were they flattering.

While staring at myself in the mirror, stunned at how tight one pair was, I found myself feeling worse and worse about the changes in my body, which is no good! I am someone who LOVES being pregnant. I LOVE IT. While the belly gets a little uncomfortable towards the end, and sure the extra weight makes getting around a little tougher, I find the joy of holding this little life inside my body so outweighs the small sacrifices. However, I was struggling the other day with accepting the extra weight I'd put on. The crazy part is, I had none of these negative thoughts during the month of May.

Not only am I now finding skirts/dresses to be more feminine, but also more flattering, more comfortable, and encouraging of a positive body image.

Dress Dare Effect

So doing this dress dare has had an effect on me in a lot of ways. One of the ways I was not expecting is some sadness after talking with a lot of women about the whole subject of women encouraging other women to wear skirts.

I have had many, many conversations with (mostly) other women about the dress dare. And I've been surprised to discover a lot of deep feelings and often hurt feelings. Basically the hurt comes from women who have been told (or think they are being told) that even though they wear very modest pants, that if they were *really* Catholic/faithful/pious they would wear skirts instead. So they feel put down, hurt, judged, and some even end up going to confession with the "sin" of wearing pants.

Now, just to be clear - I believe I can speak for everyone on the blog when I say that wearing pants is not a sin. And no one here is trying to say that, or make anyone feel like a bad person or not as pious a person if they wear pants. Sin comes in when you, for example, walk out of the house wearing pants (or a skirt for that matter) that is so tight you can almost read where your under lovelies come from, and you KNOW that wearing it will lead another person to lust, and you KNOWINGLY wear it anyway.

Sin is one thing and healthy to talk about, but right not for another day. The dress dare is different, with a whole other intended effect. The dress dare is a challenge that says "ok, given that we're trying to be modest, trying to follow Our Lady and reflect her. How can we do this more? How can we remind ourselves everyday (even if it's annoying because our jeans are right there, calling to us!) to focus on modesty?" In the end, we're asking how can we love others even more. Because modesty has to do with others. If we were on an island by ourselves, we'd wear whatever we liked best and worked, be that sweat pants or a ball gown. But we are challenging one another to love others more through what we wear. Not because wearing pants is not loving, but because we want to do something different, something that classically is seen as feminine and more often easily modest, and focus on it.

I really liked Chantal's post talking about the Miraculous Medal. St. Max Kolbe encourages people to wear the medal NOT out of a sense of duty but out of love. It's a special way to show your love for the woman who said the ultimate Yes to Our Lord. This past week I've really been trying to remind myself that this is why I struggle to wear skirts this month. Not out of a sense of duty, but out of love. Love for others by focusing on being truly beautiful (and therefore modest) and ultimately love for our model of True Femininity, Mary.

The intended effect of the dress dare is to promote Love, something that women do in a very particular way. I'm just now really trying to figure out a way to promote this love in myself and others without hurting other women (the exact opposite of what we're trying to do).

Nightgowns

I have to say I am loving this month of dresses and skirts. As I have mentioned before, I have been wearing mostly skirts and dresses for a while now. Until this month though I did often wear jeans on the weekends. Since not wearing any pants at all I find that I never want to take my dresses off. I used to love getting in my PJ's at night and would often have them on before the sun went down. Now I wait until the last minute to change because I love my dresses. I feel so feminine and pretty. So I decided to go one more these last 10 days of the dare and wear nightgowns to bed. Now I get to feel girly even when I sleep. When I was a little girl I always loved Wendy in Peter Pan because she wears that beautiful nightgown through the whole movie. I am interested to see how I feel putting on jeans again after this month. Who knows maybe the dare will extend further for me.

The First Lady

Here is just one more reason I'm glad we are doing this dress dare. I don't want to curse the darkness, and be super negative, but this picture just gave me a lot to think about. Shown here is our current "First Lady." To me, she looks nothing like a lady at her most recent state dinner for the President of Mexico.

When I think of a First Lady, I think, "Jackie O" in her beautiful dresses and classy skirt suits. She epitomized class and elegance. I think this is just one more reason for us to redefine what it means to be a lady. Clearly, in our culture today, we need to bring back formal wear that doesn't mean less clothing, or being so made up that we look nothing like our natural selves. Let us look to Our Lady, not the "First Lady" for our standards of what makes us a "lady."

A Week Observed

Congratulations fellow dress-ers! We have made it one week in our feminine apparel. I thought I would take this blog to share my observations of how this has impacted me so far.

Since wearing skirts and dresses, the most obvious difference is how I move. When I walk, my skirt flows around me, making my walk slightly more delicate, and I feel more graceful. When I sit on the floor with my daughter, rather than sitting with my legs open, I generally sit with legs together, bent over to one side, and my skirt/dress lays on the floor, surrounding me with fabric to place over my legs. It makes me feel, well, more like a princess, more like a lady.

This is one reason why, I think, my daughter, though not even 2, prefers dresses and skirts. In the last week, I have included her in the dress dare, and I must say, getting dressed in the mornings is soooo much easier! She is so young, and yet, 99% of the time, when given the option of pants or a dress, she will choose the dress. When she puts it on, she will generally immediately grab the skirt, do a twirl, and ask for music to dance. This made me reflect more on how these articles of clothing differentiate us from men.

I noticed a few things. One, when going to a restroom, if one can't read the letters on the door, how do you know which restroom to go in? Well, the little stick figure for a woman, is clearly wearing a skirt! Second, it's prom season, and no teenage girl goes shopping for a prom tuxedo. She goes looking for a prom dress! Very few women walk down the aisle on their wedding day without a white dress cascading below them.

So I'll admit it, I feel prettier in a skirt/dress. This week, I never wondered if I was dressed appropriately for where I was going, because I looked, if anything, more presentable than normal. A few weeks ago, I was going to daily mass and afterwards, to the park for a picnic and playtime with Mina, and I felt so irreverent approaching Christ, truly present in the Eucharist in my jean bermuda shorts. This week, I had no such issues. Every day, I was prepared to attend mass, outwardly showing reverence for the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus Christ Himself. Of course I still believed in the true presence when in my shorts, but was a demonstrating this in the way I dressed? If I dress up for Sunday mass, shouldn't I do the same at daily mass? Christ is no less present on a weekday.

So those are just some of my thoughts from this last week. Have any of you noticed any differences or become more aware of anything in your first week?

P.S. Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there, and to Our Mother Mary!

Dress Dare Supplies

Have you noticed that the dress and skirt hemlines are much shorter this season?  I have been having trouble finding attractive skirts to suit my active lifestyle and appreciation for fashion.

I recently came across Vintage Hem, a website that sells cute modern-day petticoats.  I am considering adding one of these to my wardrobe!  This seems like an adorable and fashionable solution to help make trendy skirts more feminine and modest.  I bet they would be great for pregnancy too, when your hemline in front starts elevating inches above the back.

Do you have any favorite feminine and modest fashion finds??

History of Dress-es

Since we're on day 2 of this dress dare, and we may be facing some questions from those around us who notice that we've suddenly stopped wearing pants, I figured it may be helpful to share some of what I have discovered about the history of women's dress, and the changes that have occurred in the last century.

In a letter dated August 9, 1838, a Freemason (known enemies of the Church) wrote to another Freemason, "in order to destroy Catholicism, it is necessary to commence by suppressing woman...but since we cannot suppress woman, let us corrupt her..." Less than a century later, this was followed by an article in the International Review on Freemasonry, 1928, that states, 

"It is necessary to corrupt that our boys and girls practice nudism in dress. To avoid too much reaction, one would have to progress in a methodical manner: first, undress up to the elbow; then up to the knees; then arms and legs completely uncovered; later, the upper part of the chest, the shoulders, etc. etc." Almost a century later, let us look around. Scary, huh?

 
The Blessed Mother knew very well what the Freemasons were trying to do, and what was about to happen. When she appeared to Blessed Jacinta at Fatima (1910-1920), she warned, “"the sins which bring most souls to hell are the sins of the flesh. Certain fashions are going to be introduced which will offend Our Lord very much... the Church has no fashions; Our Lord is always the same..."

Around this same time in the 1920s, Coco Chanel was causing quite a ruckus in the fashion world with her bob haircut and clingy clothing. This was also when designers Yves Saint-Laurent and Courreges introduced the pantsuit, but these styles didn't catch on until the 1960s. In the 60s, the trend of the voluptuous woman was slipping away as the popularity of models like Twiggy inspired a more straight, boyish shape. Then came the birth control pill, breastfeeding was seen as repulsive, and the "feminist" movement took on a whole new form. Women suddenly began wearing the pants.

This new fashion trend sparked advertising agencies to prepare marketing research. They tracked the path that a man's eyes take when looking at a woman in pants. They found that when he viewed the woman from the back, he looked directly at her bum. From the front, the man's eyes didn't go to her face, or her chest, but rather dropped directly to her most intimate area. Advertisers found a way to apply the Law of Closure and the Law of Good Continuation, which basically state that men's train of thought naturally fills in gaps, so if a woman is wearing pants, which separate her legs, his eyes will follow up her legs and finish the picture in their imagination. These studies led marketers to use images like that of Brooke Shields, who became so well known for her Calvin Jeans ads.

I will conclude with just one story of a saint, who is now incorruptible, from the last century. A Canadian woman was visiting Italy, and had the honor of having her confession heard by Padre Pio. Only she was refused absolution because she sold slacks and pantsuits in her dress shop in Vancouver. He commanded her to return home, dispose of all of this stock, and not give any of the items to people who might wear them. He said if she wanted absolution she should then return to Italy. He said her alternative was to seek absolution elsewhere but he told her he would know whether she'd done it or not. Now, who knows if Padre Pio would do this same thing in this generation, but his shows just how scandalous this fashion was! Have you seen pictures of Padre Pio's incorruptible body? I'm pretty sure he was quite serious with his advice and the fact that he would "know" if she carried it out or not.

 
So, there are the facts, the history, and the evolution of dress in the last century. We are not saying pants are evil, but there must be some reason that women for centuries before us never wore them. I guess we'll find out in the next month, how we feel going back to the days where women wore the skirts and the men wore the pants. Given what the Blessed Mother said to Jacinta, I think Mary would be quite pleased that we’ve chosen to honor in this way. Dare to dress!

For more history and the Church's views of modesty, read "Dressing with Dignity" by Colleen Hammond

I love Costco

Ok - so my family already thinks I'm kinda nuts because we do our weekly grocery shopping at Costco - which means we buy vats of olive oil and 18 eggs a week for a family of 3 and soon to be 4. (Due in October - yay!)

However - when I went there today, I saw that they were selling bathing suits. Suits that actually looked cute, and then when I walked up to the stand, I realized that "Mod Bod" bathing suits stood for "Modest Body(?)" bathing suits.

I almost couldn't believe it. I started looking through them and a lady came up to me to ask if I needed any help. I told her what a great idea and that I couldn't believe Costco was selling blatantly modest suits. The sales lady said that they were the only suits they were selling, and that she'd only had one lady say that she didn't like them "I wear string." The lady and I agreed that most people don't really have the body to wear string, and even if they do, we don't really want to see them in it. After all, string bikinis don't exactly scream "when looking at me, please see an intelligent women of high morals and greatness of soul."

The sales lady also said that everyone else who stopped had said that they liked both the suits and the idea and were glad that Costco was carrying them. Good for you Everett Washington shoppers!

Now, I'm not sure if they are selling them just in this one store (the headquarters are near by, so they do a lot of product testing around here) but it makes me happy that such a huge chain store is promoting modesty, and seeing that there's a market for it.

A Leg Up on Fashion

I've never been against leggings-- just on the fence about whether or not we should bring back anything that reminds us of 80's fashions. I have apparently chosen a side however, because I now own a pair.

Why this change of heart? I began to admire the practicality of them. On most days, I tend to grab my pair of jeans rather than a skirt, mainly because I feel more comfortable and less restricted in them. With leggings however, you easily play on the floor with your baby in a skirt or dress, without worrying about being immodest. They also come in handy during cool nights, cold weather... or when you simply forget to shave. Not to mention, they also make great work-out clothes.

So there you have it: just a few reasons to sport some not-so-1980's leggings.