I have realized over the past few months that a very dear friend of mine is leaving the Church. I've seen for a while that it was coming, but have been afraid of it. In hoping that it would not happen, I have not talked directly about it to him, and have encouraged my husband to not "push" him out of the Church. Sounds like obviously the wrong thing to do now, but at the time I couldn't think what to do.
Now - that he's left - I'm not sure what to do. Sometimes I'm mad and want to beat him with reasons. (In this beautifully ordered world of ours, do you not think God would have an ordered way of worship?) Sometimes I'm sad and want to just ask him how he could believe so strongly and then just leave it all? His God he has worshiped for almost 30 years, just... not important anymore?
I have seen him attack all other authority figures, and knew it was not consistent to believe in the Church, but was hoping his belief in the teachings of the Church would help him see the light about the others. I'm not sure if he still believes in God, but I have a feeling that He is the next to go in my friend's search for importance, or independence, or himself.
This Sunday's reading is about the sower. I've always thought that the fertile ground, or rocky ground was describing different kinds of people, but maybe it's different times in our lives. In the parable, it's just the sower and the ground, God and my friend. There is no third helping person who brings the seed to the fertile ground. So maybe I need to accept that God can handle this relationship - but I keep trying to figure out a way that I can bring him back.
Ears to hear. Am I being called to intercede for my friend? Or is this a lesson for me to trust that God knows how to call His children to Him? I do feel called to pray for him, but feel my prayers inadequate.
