Laying Down a Proper Foundation for Family

"Every one then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house upon the rock, and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat upon that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock." -Matthew 7:24-27

I have been reflecting this week, about what kind of foundation I have laid for myself, my marriage and my family.  I know that this is the healthy order that things should be in.  Despite this, I often feel as though I am working backwards.

My most obvious goals encourage and inspire me to focus on my family's foundation daily: I strive to build a healthy, strong, attached relationship with my children;  I pray with them everyday; I teach them about the faith; I work hard to correct and develop their character and I make an effort to encourage lasting and healthy habits.  My husband and I talk about our future plans for our children and family, and what would like for our children to be like as young men.  We arrange family activities to bond and play and we go to mass together.  We make mistakes often, but are also very committed to building a strong foundation for our (still very young) family.

I also take time to focus on my marriage.  In five years we have already seen many fruits that have come from the graces of the sacrament of matrimony.  My husband and I make an effort to connect daily, and we genuinely enjoy each other.  We make spiritual goals together and help keep each other accountable with our struggles and our attempts to grow in virtue.  Do we pray together everyday?  Not really.  Shouldn't something like prayer be the basic foundation of our marriage?  Definitely.  Will we withstand rain, floods and winds?  By the grace of God we will-- but I know that there is still foundational work left to do in this department.

And then there is me.  I have been meditating about what kind of foundation I have built my house on.  I often feel unsure that it is rock, in fact on some days my foundation even feels like quick sand!  And although I could go into many, (many) examples about why I feel this way, my most urgent question is how this impacts the natural progression of my vocation-- in my personal relationship with God, my relationship with my husband, and my relationship with my children.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that if the first is strong, the laters will follow in a similar path.  I will never be able to love my husband enough if I do not love God first, and let Him work through my marriage.  My children will never grasp or believe any prayers, catechesis or a desire for the faith if they don't SEE me living my life out of LOVE for God.  My foundation matters, not only to me, but to my husband and family.  In fact, our sanctity might just depend on it.

As mothers, it is very easy to push our own needs aside, our spiritual needs included.  I understand that my vocation will not allow me to spend hours in adoration or pray the liturgy of the hours uninterrupted on a daily-basis.  I also understand that in living out a mother's spirituality, there will be days when the only formal prayers I will say will be the simple prayers I say with my children-- but if I do it out of true love for my Creator and and actually PRAY (instead of just reciting with or mimicking my preschoolers), then I will have seized an opportunity to strengthen my home.   I am a part of my marriage and family's foundation, and it is up to no one but myself to pray for wisdom and to work to build my life on rain, flood and wind-withstanding rock.

(http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:%22Rock_and_Cloud,_Kings_River_Canyon_(Proposed_as_a_national_park),%22_California,_1936.,_ca._1936_-_NARA_-_519927.jpg)

Re-Defining Beauty

Yes. This is, in fact, a new blog post. (What? Quick, check the date. September. What year? This year! Nice.) Our lives have been busy (as all lives are) but we here are feeling called to once again take to our keyboards and write about our lives, our faith, and the beauty we see (and try to be) in this world. I was thinking about beauty and what to write and I remembered hearing a quote from Pope Benedict about how the world needs beauty, and how true beauty always leads to God. But I guess I forgot to pin it, so in searching for it, I found this: 

"What is capable of restoring enthusiasm and confidence, what can encourage the human spirit to rediscover its path, to raise its eyes to the horizon, to dream of a life worthy of its vocation -- if not beauty?" 

Still Pope Benedict. He said it in his Address to Artists. And really - I think this says what I wanted to say about this blog. I think we all write not just to get our thoughts down, or to help us keep ourselves thinking about the different aspects of beauty (when I know I'm going to write soon, I tend to think about what I could say when my mind wanders. And since it wanders a lot - it's nice to be almost continually thinking about beauty). But I think we write to help restore enthusiasm and confidence. To encourage ourselves and others to find/rediscover our path. To raise our eyes to the Son on the horizon and to dream and then act on what our lives would be like if we truly fulfilled our vocations. I thought it was a nice thought. Maybe nicer than the original one I had been thinking of. And so I think I'll end this post how Pope Benedict ended his talk:

"Let the beauty that you express by your God-given talents always direct the hearts of others to glorify the Creator, the source of all that is good. God's blessings upon you all!"

Me-Time

For the past few years, my husband has been taking grad-school classes in the evening to earn his MBA.  This means that on 2 or 3 evenings a week he often leaves his full work-day to head straight to school, on occasion dropping in at home for a quick bite to eat.  Although this routine has been a challenge in many ways (especially since we've had a baby), I have also learned to see it as a blessing.

Although I love being with my husband, I am an introvert, and so I truly enjoy time to myself.  I do not always have to be relaxing during this "me" time-- no matter what I am doing, I relish in the quietness and peace that comes to me when I am alone.  Doing chores, groceries, folding laundry or catching up on work are all tasks that I am known to occupy myself with while my hubby is at school.

Once in awhile however, I love to indulge in a little special personal time.  My favorite solitary things to do are to exercise, stretch, shop online, write and read.  At the end of a really tough day, I might even pour myself a glass of wine, bake, or put in a DVD.  Having this time to myself always helps me feel at peace and rejuvenated.

I'm curious:  What are your favorite things to do when you have alone time?  How do you schedule time for yourself when things get busy?

Living Holy Week with Mary

For a beautiful Holy Week reflection, listen to this podcast:
http://fkminusa.podbean.com/2010/03/31/living-holy-week-with-mary/

It's got some beautiful thoughts, my favorite is that when Mary looked at Christ suffering, she saw the price of her Immaculate Conception.