Praying before Work

I have often wondered how you can be an example of Catholicism when you are working in a secular workplace. Obviously, actions speak louder than words (something I am sure we have all heard a thousand times!).
However, I have also recently stumbled upon a prayer book that has a prayer called "Prayer before Working". It was then that I realized how important it is to start of your work day praying. It makes doing any kind of job worthwhile.

Here is the prayer:
Prayer Before Working
We beseech Thee, O Lord, to direct our actions by Thy holy inspirations, and carry them on by Thy gracious assistance, that every prayer and work of ours may begin always from Thee, and through Thee be happily ended. Amen.
St. Joseph.
Pray for us.

For those of us who are also still students, this prayer book also has a prayer called "Prayer before Study". I find this prayer to also help me stay focused on the fact that the reason I am able to learn and go to school is through the Grace of God.

Here is the prayer:
Prayer Before Study (adaptation from St. Thomas Aquinas)
Ineffable Creator, Thou art called the true font of light and wisdom, and the origin of all things. Pour forth a ray of Thy brightness into the darkened places of my mind; disperse from my soul the twofold darkness into which I was born: sin and ignorance.
Grant me keenness of mind, capacity to remember, skill in learning, insight to interpret, and eloquence in speech.
May Thou guide the beginning of my study, direct its progress, and bring it to completion.
Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Holy Mary, Seat of Wisdom.
Pray for us.

opposite of anger

Something Alena said reminded me of something I just read... It said that while the other emotions had opposites (love/hate, desire/aversion, joy/sadness) anger does not.

It seemed wrong to me, but I can't think of what the positive of anger would be.

Any ideas?

Catholics Come Home

In church a couple Sundays ago they played a sample of some commercials that they are going to show in a couple months around the Seattle area. At the end of it everyone was tearing up, even our priest who had shown the video at least 3 other times that weekend.

It was a video from "Catholics Come Home." So beautiful! Ok - it's not working to embed it, so click here: http://www.catholicscomehome.org/epic/epic120.phtml

Turns out the largest religious group in the US after Catholics is fallen away Catholics. (Where is our sticking power people?) So these videos are designed to go out into TV land and get them back.

I guess they did this campaign in Phoenix and 90,000 Catholic came back. 90,000! That's enough to have to start new parishes just to deal with them all!

So prayers that we get all the resources needed to pull this off. And check out the website: http://www.catholicscomehome.org

Help for Pregnant College Students

Just wanted to share a great article about a joint venture initiative by Belmont Abbey College in Belmont N.C. and a crisis pregnancy center called Room at the Inn. Together they have created the first campus-based maternity and after-care residence for pregnant college students. What an awesome model for other Catholic Universities!

Click here to read the article.

The Importance of Living a Moral Life

Unlike what society tries to tell us, there are not many different moralities. There is one truth and one morality. We know this because God is the basis for morality and because God does not change, neither does morality. As a follower of Christ, it is important to understand that it is Christ that we should center our lives around. There is no way that we can separate our actions from the morality that we know is true. If we act one way, that is the way we are. We are the choices we make.

Morality is linked with happiness and cannot be separated from it. Secular society tends to see morality and rules as restricting. The reason they feel this way is because in order to be a moral person, sometimes we must sacrifice immediate goods and wants in order to reach something higher and better for us in the long term. It is important that we recognize that morality answers the question “What should I do” and therefore we realize that morality is not about a list of wrongs and rights, but an opportunity for us to choose something that is higher than what our humanity alone can allow us to achieve. Most people feel that morality is about what we cannot do. They expect that all moral choices involve suffering and sadness. What most people miss, is that morality is not choosing the hardest thing possible. It is about choosing the right thing. Sometimes, choosing the right thing initially might be difficult or uncomfortable. Other times, it is the most exciting, breathtaking moment. Either way, choosing what is right ends up making us the happiest ten times out of ten.

Most of the time people sum up morality into a few subjects; abortion, homosexuality, religion, and abstinence. Although these are decisions that are very obviously moral dilemmas, they are not the only moral situations that we experience in our lives. Everyday we make decisions that lead us towards our final end. Each decision we make changes the distance between us and our goal, heaven. Sometimes, we make decisions that bring us giant steps towards our final goal. However, other times we might not be making much process because we are not choosing what is in our best interest. It is in the simple decisions that we are able to form the habits that will be able to help us when the bigger problems come towards us.

Virtues are extremely important. There is one main reason for this; virtues are habits. They are the good habits. The ones that work with reason and attempt to perfect our free will so that choosing what will lead us to our highest goal will become what is most natural to us. Building up virtues allows our sensitive appetites not to have power over us. Virtues are dependent on the fact that our intellectual virtues are learned through wisdom, knowledge, and understanding of the truth and moral life. Because we are creatures of habits, building positive habits that lead to becoming a person of virtue is one of the most important lessons that we can learn. If we are able to become completely virtuous, choosing the right choice would be the only reasonable choice to make.

Just the way that virtues are so crucial to keeping a virtuous moral life, vices are an obstacle to leading a virtuous moral life. Similar to virtues, vices are also formed through habits, however these habits overpower the reason instead of working with reason to make decisions. Although vices are habits that work against our final goal, the human inclination to be good is always there and therefore allows every person to always have hope. However, when you sin, it is like your soul gets sick. It increases the difficulty for one to stay away from sin. God's punishment for sin is that He allows for us to have it, and enjoy at the time. Once you have experienced it, it makes it difficult for you to withhold the next time. Similarly, sin breeds sin. People do not want to be alone in their sin. This is why when one sibling gets in trouble, they spend their time-out trying to get the rest of their siblings in trouble as well so they do not have to go through it alone.

Moral virtues depend on the intellect. Intellect is also a habit. This habit helps us to understand what is happening and understand the truth. But just like every habit, in order to keep this habit we must use it often. If we cannot understand what is good because we are not practicing this virtue, it can lead to vices. Wisdom is one of the highest intellectual virtues because it is so important in informing the will and therefore informing our reason. It is also through knowledge that we are able to understand how all things lead to God. If we do not continue to try to be informed, our intellect will not be able to inform our reason and will allow ourselves to become weak and more prone to vices.

It is important to understand the difference between formally evil acts and materially evil ones. A material acts are the acts in and of themselves. It asks question about the actual events that occurred in relation to the act. Formal acts are the factors involved in committing the act. Here we must ask the questions relating to the intention and the knowledge that the person committing the acts was experiencing at the time the act was committed. Because of this, an act could be materially wrong but not formally wrong. Similarly, doing something materially right, could not be formally right because of the intention that it is done with.

The will consists of commonsense, intention, choice, deliberation and consent. The will makes decisions based off of it's intellect and understanding of the situation at hand. The will's movements are internal and external. Internally, the intellect moves itself. Externally, the will is drawn to the good. However, the will is not always drawn to the highest good. At some points, the will suffices with the lower good. We should always be striving to align our will towards God because God is our ultimate good. The intention is also crucial to understanding the actions that the will chooses. It can influence the end of the action and the means that one uses in order to get to the end. The value of a choice depends on the object one is choosing. Deliberation is important because it allows us to search for the answer and be able to act with knowledge. Different choices rely on different amounts of deliberation. The amount of time spent on deliberation for an action should relate directly to the intensity of the decision. Finally, consent is crucial to the choice. One must allow themselves to commit the action in order for them to be help responsible for that action.

The passions are critical to the understanding of the moral life because they are known from their experiences. While emotions and feelings are vague, passions are precise. Unlike society's view that passions are the be-all and end-all, passions are not good or evil in and of themselves. They can lead to virtues or vices, but they are neutral. Our concupiscible passions are the ones that have a sensible good or evil. They are love, hate, desire, aversion, pleasure, and sadness. While are irascible passions are the passions that we have difficulty in attainting. These passions are hope, despair, fear, and anger. It is important to understand that our passions are important to be involved in our intellect. However, our intellect should direct our passions to the highest goods. Because our passions are neutral, it is important that we make sure our intellect guides our passions to the highest moral good.

The cardinal virtues are prudence, temperance, fortitude, and justice. Prudence allows us to use practical reason when trying to decide the true good in each circumstance. Justice is important because it gives what is due to our neighbor. In justice, we are called to respect each human being. Justice is a habit that is very important to keep a solid grip on because it is a habitual way of thinking. Temperance guides our concupiscible passions and balances our emotions. “It ensures the will's mastery over instincts and keeps desires with the limits of what is honorable” according to CCC 1809. Fortitude, then, deals with and moderates our irascible passions. It “enables ones to conquer fear of death, and to face trials and persecutions.” (CCC 1808) This is important because without using temperance and fortitude we can easily loose control of our passions.

Although our society seems to think that conscience is something you feel when you are about to make a decision about something that is important, conscience literally means with knowledge. From society's point of view, it is often linked to the idea that you should listen to your heart. However, the church clearly shows that conscience means to make a decision with the knowledge that you are given. There are three functions of a conscience. First, you must identify what the action is from a moral viewpoint. Then, you must identify whether an act is a good act or an evil act. Finally, you must evaluate the action. The only way that society can say that you should always follow your conscience is if your conscience is well informed and properly raised.

Grace is given to us through the theological virtues. The three theological virtues are faith, hope, and love. The grace that God gives us allows us to succeed. He gives us exactly what we need at every part of our life so that we can choose to become closer to Him. It is important that we recognize that grace is given to us in order to make us whole again. Without grace, it is impossible for us to survive in this world. Unlike the cardinal graces that are only acquired through practice, God's grace and theological virtues are given to us as a gift to aide us in our decisions and throughout our experiences so that we are able to be united to Christ. However, because of God's undying love for us, He allows us to reject those virtues and turn our back on Him. However, this always leads to sadness and not happiness.

The ten commandments are important to society. The reason God gives us these laws is not to hinder us or to not allow us to enjoy our time here on earth. He gives us these laws because it is important for us to realize that if we commit theses acts and do not follow the commandments, we will be the ones hurt in the end because doing these things leads to sadness. Just like every society, we need laws in order to make sure that our society's citizens can lead good, healthy, moral lives. People often feel that laws take away from one's freedom. However, there is no true freedom in choosing against God's laws. Doing so will only lead to slavery. The ten commandments are a summary of the entire moral law.

The beatitudes are also important. It is interesting to know that each of the beatitudes leads to the next one. If you follow the first of the beatitude, and are poor in spirit, then you will mourn because you know that you cannot live on your own. One can continue to see throughout the entire beatitudes how each one leads to the next. That is why it ends that those who follow these commands will be in the kingdom of God. Interestingly, the beatitudes are follow by what is known as the antitheses. These talk about the ten commandments. Jesus in the new covenant takes the commandments another step higher. For example, killing someone emotionally with one's anger is also under the commandment that you shall not kill.

God is love. When you love someone, you want to do what they ask of you because that makes them happy. The same goes for Christ's commandments. As christians, we should want to follow the commandments because Christ tells us to follow them for our own good. Because He tells us this, and we love Him, it is only right that we would follow the commandments that He gives to us. Through this class, I was able to understand more clearly why God gives us laws. Unlike society teaches us, the only way to be free is to know your purpose and our purpose to be united with God in heaven. Therefore, the only way that we can find true freedom and happiness is if we follow what Christ teaches to us and follow the laws that He gives us. If He did not love us, He would not give us laws that lead us to Him. But, in His overpowering love, He guides us to Himself so that we can achieve our purpose in life.

Weddings

Well we just got back from a wedding in LA. This was the first wedding that I actually had to leave early (and not because of the babies!). It was at the old LA cathedral - they just refinished the floors, took out the altar (and St. Vibiana herself) and left everything a hollow shell. I fully realize that the church was decommissioned, but something just felt so wrong. We were tempted to drive everyone out of the Temple just like Jesus. I know there are several other Christian churches that have been transformed into restaurants/event venues, but something about knowing that Jesus' true presence used to be there just irked at me.

The beauty of struggling to get through this wedding was finally understanding why the church conducts weddings as it does and has not fallen for the secular notion of "personalize everything." It was a "church" setting with Rev. Julie and her roman collar (I won't even get into that one) and the processional had secular music which honestly made it feel more like a fashion show. Now I get why we need the more solemn music for weddings within the context of the mass: it's about Jesus!! While it may be your wedding day, the focus still needs to be on Christ, just like it needs to be for the rest of your life.

There were 2 bible passages read and part of the verdict from Goodridge vs. The Dept. of Health, Massachusetts, 2003. That'd be the case that said it was unconstitutional for gay couples to "marry." For the first time in my life I felt truly offended. It felt like a complete mockery of the sacrament and of the Christian beliefs they were professing to have those words in their ceremony. If we would have known that passage was being read during the wedding I don't think we would have gone to support them now that we know how they feel about marriage and knowing that they will not support and defend all real marriages - even their own. Sad day. Anywho this taught me why it was important to have the Liturgy of the Word be a part of the ceremony - we should all be reading and hearing it as much as possible and it should just be a natural part of our lives and something we look to when we are celebrating or grieving or anything in between.

The last thing I think I finally understand is why the Church does not let people write their own vows. From the perspective of a bride it sounds really romantic and great...not so much from a guests' point of view. I didn't really care to know that my cousin loves her new husband "like a fat kid loves cake." This is something that can go on a card or can be said in private. The choices that we have for vows really truly spell out the responsibility that we are undertaking. Promising to "love you forever because you are my soulmate" is no where near the same as vowing to love your spouse "or better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Anywho I guess this post is somewhat of a vent for me. I'm really struggling with the way weddings are being treated in my family. Next up: another cousin has decided to "elope" to Hawaii and have a regular wedding reception when they get back because they can't afford a wedding (silly me thinking that the reception is the expensive part!)...please pray for my sanity. I never thought it'd be this difficult to convince Catholic women that having a Catholic ceremony isn't a financial or social burden!

Act of Kindness of the Day

Give a gift of 15 minutes of your time, wherever or whenever it is needed.

The 'Ol Ball 'n' Chain

I'm sure all of us have, at some point, heard a wife referred to as the title phrase of this post. While my husband has never referred to me as his "ball 'n' chain," sometimes I wouldn't blame him if he did. Ok, maybe I would. The point is, I am weak, and give in to my fallen nature way too much.

Let's face it. Those of us who are wives know, we tend to be nags at times. I find the devil tempting me with the tiniest little things and even using my husband's efforts to help around the kitchen or with our daughter, as fuel for aggravation. I will correct him on all these tiny little things, saying that dish doesn't go there or that bib doesn't work for this meal, when really, my husband may not be a professional homemaker, but he's an adult who's perfectly capable of functioning as one (even though he may act otherwise at times;-) ). Not only does this tempt him to lose patience with me, but in doing this, I'm not living out my vocation the way I'm supposed to. It's a bad habit to get into, because, what am I going to do when Mina tries to help around the house? Also, I hate to be a bad example to her of a wife who's constantly criticizing her husband around the house. It does not at all facilitate the type of relaxing atmosphere that should be the home, particularly for a husband who works so hard outside the home to provide for the family.

After a recent confession, in the hopes of helping me break this habit, my regular confessor recommended reading a few chapters in the book of Sirach. I should really read this particular chapter on "the good and the wicked wife" daily, so I wanted to share it. God makes our role as wives pretty clear:

Sirach 26

Happy is the husband of a good wife: the number of his days will be doubled. 2 A loyal wife rejoices her husband, and he will complete his years with peace. 3 A good wife is a great blessing; she will be granted among the blessings for the man who fears the Lord. 4 Whether rich or poor, his heart is glad, and at all times his face is cheerful.

5 Of three things my heart is afraid, and of a fourth I am frightened: The slander of a city, the gathering of a mob, and false accusation - all these are worse than death.

6There is grief of heart and sorrow when a wife is envious of a rival, and a tongue-lashing makes it known to all. 7 An evil wife is an an ox-yoke which chafes; taking hold of her is like grasping a scorpion. 8 There is great anger when a wife is drunken; she will not hide her shame. 9 A wife's harlotry shows in her lustful eyes, and she is known by her eyelids. 10 Keep strict watch over a headstrong daughter, lest, when she finds liberty, she use it to her hurt. 11 Be on guard against her impudent eye, and do not wonder if she sins against you. 12 As a thirsty wayfarer opens his mouth and drinks from any water near him, so will she sit in front of every post and open her quiver to the arrow.

13 A wife's charm delights her husband, and her skill puts fat on his bones. 14 A silent wife is a gift of the Lord, and there is nothing so precious as a disciplined soul. 15 A modest wife adds charm to charm, and no balance can weigh the value of a chaste soul. 16 Like the sun rising in the heights of the Lord, so is the beauty of a good wife in her well-ordered home. 17 Like the shining lamp on the holy lampstand, so is a beautiful face on a stately figure. 18 Like pillars of gold on a base of silver, so are beautiful feet with a steadfast heart.

Read Sirach 25 for the "wicked wife" and more comparison.

The Pope's message to Young Adults

Pope Benedict addressed 10,000 young people in Prague this morning, and delivered an awesome message regarding vocations. Here are some highlights from his talk.

"In every young person there is an aspiration towards happiness, sometimes tinged with anxiety: an aspiration that is often exploited, however, by present-day consumerist society in false and alienating ways. Instead, that longing for happiness must be taken seriously, it demands a true and comprehensive response. At your age, the first major choices are made, choices that can set your lives on a particular course, for better or worse."

“Many of you He calls to marriage...the preparation for this Sacrament constitutes a real vocational journey...Consider seriously the divine call to raise a Christian family, and let your youth be the time in which to build your future with a sense of responsibility. Society needs Christian families, saintly families!"

"And if the Lord is calling you to follow Him in the ministerial priesthood or in the consecrated life, do not hesitate to respond to His invitation. In particular, in this Year for Priests, I appeal to you, young men. ... The Church in every country, including this one, needs many holy priests and also persons fully consecrated to the service of Christ, Hope of the world.”

Our Holy father challenges us to become messengers of Hope in the world, by responding to the vocation God gives us. We must strive to “live [our] faith with joy and enthusiasm; to grow in unity among [ourselves] and with Christ; to pray and to be diligent in frequenting the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist and Confession," Pope Benedict said.

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=17243

Femininity in the Media

For months now, I have been considering my following of the reality television series "18 Kids and Counting" a guilty pleasure. I was reflecting over what it is that draws me to the show, and narrowed it down to one person-- Michelle Duggar. This woman truly inspires me!

Throughout all of her interviews she constantly exudes humility, grace, peacefulness and femininity. I am sure that many viewers must watch the Duggars mockingly, due to their large family size and God-centered life, yet Michelle Duggar is never defensive. In fact, she always finds a gentle way to see goodness in every person and situation that the Duggar family faces. I admire her quiet strength-- an active submission to her call to holiness. All in all, Michelle is clearly a witness of a woman at peace with God's will for her life.

My purpose of this post is not to place Michelle Duggar on a pedestal, but rather to point out a positive example of femininity in the media. Do you watch 18 Kids and Counting? Can you think of any other women on television who "define beauty" to you?

Our Mother and Mediator

My baby spent half of yesterday in tears. The frustrating thing with having an infant, is that although I knew something was hurting him, he was unable to communicate to me what was wrong (other than through crying). He could have been hungry, uncomfortable, or he could have been terribly sick. Because he was unable to help himself, as his mother I was responsible for calling the pediatrician. From there, the doctor helped me assess how we can best help him. Thus, as his mom, I became the mediator for bringing my baby to the physician and helping him feel better.

There are so many times in life when we are unhappy, frustrated, afraid, and unable to help ourselves. Our cries are sometimes very vague, just like those of an infant, because we are not quite sure what is missing. I knew that my baby needed a doctor, and similarly Mary knows that we need her Son. She can act as a mediator and to bring us to Jesus, and even explain to Him what we need, just as she did during the Wedding Feast at Cana. She understands our cries, as a mother understands her baby's needs, and she helps to bring us to our Savior, as a mother helps to bring a baby to the doctor. We are so blessed to have Mary to watch over us! Let us never be afraid to cry to her for help.

Pro-Life Resources

We all know how challenging it can be to find a good doctor these days, especially when it comes to pro-life issues. Here are a couple of resources that may be helpful:

http://www.omsoul.com (One More Soul)
http://www.aaplog.org (Pro-Life OB/GYNs)

Both sites allow you to search for doctors in your area.

Good, Clean, Family Funny

My husband and I took a rare trip to the movies last night and it was so worth it! I highly recommend "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs". It was totally clean, with a great message and laugh out loud funny for the whole family.

Quote of the day

“I am overwhelmed, caught up in how challenging my vocation is. Then I realize that it is no more challenging than any other vocation. It is just more challenging for me, because this is God’s call on my life.”

Kimberly Hahn
Chosen And Cherished: Biblical Wisdom For Your Marriage

"Are you pregnant yet?"

In the recent weeks, I seem to be getting this question a lot, from everyone from close friends, to my husband, and even my regular confessor. My husband and I are eager to give Mina a little brother or sister, but it seems that it's just not God's will yet. This has given me a lot to think about.

Today, while in mass, I was in the bathroom changing Mina and decided to take a pregnancy test I had in my bag, because I thought there was a possibility I was pregnant, and it would be nice to tell my husband just after the Eucharist. The answer was no, and for a moment, I felt as thought I might shed a tear, particularly when I looked at Mina. I thought of all the joy she brings me, and how much more joy another child would bring. I prayed and offered the moment to Mary and her Son for they know better than I when we should have another child, and we went back into the church.

With Mina waddling around, we decided to head into the cry room for the latter part of mass. It was quite full this morning, and not all with little children, but with a few families with handicapped kids, who have random outbursts, making it tough to sit anywhere else. As soon as I walked in, I couldn't help but think, "Thank you, Lord." Right there in front of me was a lesson. I have no idea why the Lord is choosing this particular spacing for Mina and her brother or sister. I have to realize, though I have no reason to think I'm infertile, that I may never be blessed with having another child naturally again. Or, the Lord could be providing this space because someday we will have a child with special needs, or someone else in the family that we can help care for while we only have one child. For whatever reason, I'm not yet pregnant again, and I thank God for this opportunity to desire children.

We know so little about ourselves in comparison with God, and we must always remember His love for us, whenever there is something we don't understand. If there's one thing we should have no control over, it's deciding when a human being should be created or not, and it's for this reason, that I love being completely open to life. It allows us to submit ourselves in a whole new way to His Holy Will, and to say, as women, "I am your handmaid, Let it be done unto me according to your will."

I thank Him for these months of patience, and I thank Him for those of you who are blessed with having children closer together, for there are lessons for all of us in the gift of family life.