S is for Sick

When you're sick (or your kids are sick) who do you want? MOM! I never truly understood this phenomenon until I became a mother. Whenever E has a cough or teething pain she gets unusually clingy and that's how I figure out that something is bothering her. There must just be something about the gentleness of a mom's touch or her comforting embrace that makes her kids run to her for comfort. What a neat gift from God. :)

S is for Silence

"We need to find God, and God cannot be found in noise and restlessness.  God is the friend of silence.  See how nature- trees and flowers and grass- grow in silence.  See the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence.  The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life."

-Blessed Mother Teresa

R is for Receptivity

A lot of people talk and experience how women are particularly good at giving. we give support to our girlfriends and family members, when a child is hurt they most often go to their moms, etc.

But also I think that it is very important for women to be good receivers. While giving might come more naturally, "What's the problem? Here - do this, or have this" I think that a large part of true femininity is to simply receive. To sit and listen to the problem or complain. To take in the information or emotion that the other person is trying to convey.

Growing up in a family of talkers, I often chose to stay quiet when I was little and so learned to listen. When I was a teenager, I was in a full-production Passion Play for about 5 consecutive years and I remember especially the male actors talking to me for hours and hours while we were waiting for our scene. They told me about acting, their lives, and even one about how aliens *must* have built the pyramids. And being used to being quiet (and finding it quite interesting) I would just actively listen. "Mm-hum? Oh? Really? Why's that?"

But I've been realizing that I've lost that gift to some extent. Virtue is described as a good habit, and I think that I got out of the habit of listening in college. You see, I went to a college where every class is seminar style, so most of your grade depended on what and how much you spoke. While I'm glad I went, and while I think this was a great way to learn, I found myself focusing on what I was going to say next rather than what was currently being said by another classmate.

Sure, I got better after 4 years at the back and forth of class conversation, but this new habit replaced the old - and not always for the better. I'm not saying that women should be seen and not heard, but I do think that women have a particular receptive quality that once made a habit is a great feminine virtue.

I think this quality is shown in the bible when Mary is "pondering in her heart." Now I just have to figure out how to relearn this. Ideas, anyone?

Q is for Quarrels

One of the most beautiful parts about getting married in the Catholic Church is that it's a requirement - and I'm a big fan of that - to attend the Engaged Encounter Weekend before the big day. You and your fiancé(e) must attend together and complete all of the workshops together. All of them. In fact, I'm a big believer in any sort of premarital counseling (whether or not you're Catholic) and a lot of this weekend in particular was applicable to non-Catholics, consisting of real couples talking about everyday issues that will arise in a marriage such as sex, finances, children, fights, inlaws, chores... This is a fantastic way to ensure that you and your fiancé(e) are getting married for the right reasons and it also arms you with some great skills and knowledge for your marriage to make sure that you're protected from divorce as much as possible.

And so, I present to you some of the keys to fighting fairly according to the Engaged Encounter Weekend. This has been a tremendous help for my husband and me, especially since the first year of marriage is statistically the most challenging and quarrels can come easily if you're not prepared.

Be blessed...


•Remember that criticism and sarcasm wound people and destroy our capacity to belong to each other.

•Avoid criticism. Avoid name-calling and character assassination.

•Never fight when one or both of you are under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

•It is a waste of time placing blame. Since you can't un-spill the milk, work at moving forward.

•Avoid using absolutes, such as, "you always" or "you never" or "every time." They are not true.

 •Finish the fight. Even if there are tears, be sensitive, but do not walk away. Continue the fight for your relationship.

•Do not bring in third parties. A parent, a friend, a person at work has no part in your confrontation. The real problem is often a miscommunication.

•Stay physically close to each other. An affectionate touch helps each to know that there is nothing that cannot be worked out in love.

•The issue under discussion is never as important as the two of you are. Being right is not as important as being in relationship.

•Fight for clarification, not to win. If I "win" a fight then I'm sleeping with a loser.

Q is for Questions

Often times our culture has painted "religious" persons as being brainwashed, uneducated and unable to think for themselves.  Religion and tradition are seen as outdated and insignificant to current times.  Even within Christianity, Protestant Christians often label themselves as "progressive", or "mainstream", advertising their pastors with several university degrees, and their new revelations relating to today's issues.  When we think of Catholic Christians we tend to immediately picture a little old lady kneeling and praying her rosary in the front row of the pews, sustained entirely by the faith that she learned from her parents and grandparents.  The truth is, this could not be further from the truth.

Although a simple faith is definitely a gift, it is not how most of today's young Catholics have come to know Jesus.  In public schools we are taught to question everything, God, science, our professors and even our parents.  Distaste for authority has led many sheep astray, but for many of us, asking questions is what has brought us home. 

Being a cradle catholic myself, I have often taken my religion for granted.  It was a part of me that I never actually tried to understand.  It was not until college when my faith was challenged however, that I began asking questions, and seeking answers.  With this came understanding, revelation, and prayer.  And with prayer, I found faith, God, and the Catholic Church.  

I also find that in most cases when somebody challenges the faith, he or she has not honestly researched the Church's teaching about it.  The Church is constantly being labeled by the media as old-fashioned about contraception, cruel about homosexuality, and politically incorrect about abortion.  Unfortunately, those who fight the Church on these issues are the ones with the least understanding on them.  If we all took the time to ask the right questions and seek out the proper resources, we would know that the Church stands for nothing other than Love in all of these issues. 

Asking questions might not stand out as the most feminine of all actions.   Nevertheless, I truly feel that it is by asking questions that women (and men) begin to seek the truth, and find a deeper understanding of who we are and who God wants us to be.  Our faith is so rich, so beautiful, and so deep, that we could spend our lifetime learning new things about it.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek...
...to be understood as to understand.

P for Pregnancy

My husband and I have been married a year as of June 20th and although we want 8 kids, we haven't been blessed with any yet. Pregnancy is a hard topic for me since it's something I so desire but have not experienced it yet. I have learned a lot about trusting in the Lord and realizing that my desires are not always the same as His plans for me. I know I should know this already but I'm still learning how to really trust in Him. I hear verses such as "I know the plans I have for you" ... "Be still and know that i am God" but maybe I haven't put them all into practice quite yet.

One of the hardest things for me in the struggle of not having children is when people assume we don't want them or make comments about how they are "planning" their families or "expecting" that God will provide a child to them in an easy manner. Women just expect they'll get pregnant but it doesn't just "happen" for all of us.

I have also seen the beauty of the Lord's plans for my marriage. Some people have mentioned that not having children right away can make a couple selfish. This is hard for me to hear since I don't want to be selfish but we're also not having children. It has given my husband and I a chance to spend time getting to know each other, but we only have this time because the Lord is giving it to us. It's not because we're choosing through contraception or planning to avoid children, that decision is being made for us. This time the Lord has given me has allowed me to serve others and prepare for (God willing) becoming a parent. This summer my husband and I got to drive across the country at the spur of the moment. Please keep in mind that we would give up all of these experiences for the chance to be parents, but rather than being sad or bitter I am trying to focus on the good the Lord is doing. Finally He just gave me a part time teaching job that will allow me to pay off some student loan debt that has been hanging over our head. Thank you Lord for that gift for when we are given the gift of children through birth or adoption, I will be a stay at home mom- God willing.

Please pray for those of us that are awaiting the Lord's gift of children, that someday we will be able to experience that joy as well. For those of you that are wonderful mothers, thank you for your inspiration and dedication to your children! Mary, mother of Christ, show us how to tend to our children in the way only you can!

O is for One

One is the loneliest number...


We have all probably heard that song right? I think that often times those who are single relate well to this song. Being single can be lonely. I am single and often when I encounter other women who are single and I notice we have very different perspectives on our state in life. It often seems single woman view their single state as an obstacle to overcome, something undesirable, something they are quick to get rid of. Being single there is the temptation to think that God has forgotten about you. It is hard to not think that God just doesn't have a vocation for you right now, especially if you have discerned that you are not called to religious life. If you are single you might find yourself asking God what the hold up is. You might feel like your life is on hold until you finally have your vocation. At one time in my life I felt that way. Then I read something Saint Therese wrote that changed the way I view being single. Saint Therese said "at last I have found my vocation, it is love." It finally struck me that I do have a vocation! God has not forgotten me! I have a vocation, IT IS LOVE! I might not yet be called to one of the three regularly recognized vocations of religious life, marriage, or consecrated single life but I do have a vocation. My vocation is to love. Realizing that helped me to see that being "one" is not a curse. It isn't a disease that needs to be cured. So many girls spend all their time looking for a husband and miss the opportunities that their single state brings. I have fully embraced being "one" and my vocation of love. I have been able to teach and help form today's youth. I was able to go to Honduras and serve Jesus in disguise in the poor. I am able to serve my family and friends in their needs. Being single doesn't mean my life is like a big waiting room and I am just listening for God to call my name and tell me my vocation is ready. Being single means God wants me to serve him and love with all that I have as one person.



I hope to one day be called to marriage and motherhood because it is a desire in my heart but until then, I know I am not lacking a vocation. Ultimately no matter what state we are at in life, we all have the same vocation. We are all called to love. Loving is at the core of being a woman. Don't miss the opportunities you have to love right now because you are focused on wanting something else.

N is for... Nuns!

Ah, Nuns. Brides of Christ. The image of Heaven on Earth, since that is what we will all be in Heaven. What is it about these consecrated women, with only their faces showing, that makes them so beautiful?

My take on it, is that they most perfectly embody femininity at its core (closest to Mary). God designed women, to be receptive. Our bodies are designed this way, and this is a representation of our soul, and therefore, the role we are meant to play in this world. They keep themselves veiled, as perpetual brides of our Lord. They give their lives entirely to be the Lord's handmaids. They lay themselves prostrate and consecrate themselves 100% to Him. They then live, whether they are cloistered or not, detached from the world, and always with their eyes on the infinite.

Nuns exude joy. When one walks into a room, it tends to bring an air of peace, yet also, suddenly everyone stands a little straighter, speaks a little kinder, smiles more. It's not just the stigma of the threat of rulers. They inspire goodness simply because their very appearance lets you know that they are different. It is evident that they are not of this world, and there is s reverence due for that. Even Oprah re-aired her episode with the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist yesterday.

Nuns are a gift to us, as lay women, because we can look to them as models of how to live out our femininity more perfectly. Maybe we don't wear a habit, but do people know what we stand for by the way we carry ourselves? Do we radiate the love and joy of Christ? Are we making enough time for prayer so that we act and react in a peaceful manner?

Thank you Brides of Christ for your sacrifice, for your beautiful example of feminine holiness.

M is for ... Motherhood!

I will start out this post by saying that I am not a mother yet!

However, I have had the best example of what a mother should be like! After 22 years of marriage, my mom has had 9 kids! She has been open to God's will in everything that she is given from Him. Like our Mother Mary in Heaven, she said Yes... to all the challenges & hardships!
Because my brothers have an undiagnosed condition, she has always learned as much as she could about anything and everything related to their condition. She fought to make sure that the public schools would let my brothers into a regular education classes! Time after time, she fights for my brothers and the rest of our family so that we could all have a wonderful life!!!
She always has energy and is ready to go....but most of all, she has instilled in all of her children a love for God and a strong faith... one that continues to challenge us and that we continue to want to know more about. I only wish that I could be as wonderful as a mother as my mom is! Always with the support of my dad, my mom has been a great example of faith and love the way that Mother Mary shows us.

Feast of the Assumption

Happy Feast of the Assumption everyone.

I know this isn't an ABC post but I couldn't let this day pass without mentioning the one who is the perfect model of femininity. Today we celebrate that Mother Mary was so pure that God preserved her body and took it straight up to heaven with her soul. I pray that we all strive to model our lives after Mary so that we too will at the end of time be in heaven, body and soul.

L is for Love

"Only Love Creates" - St. Maximilian Kolbe

Today is his feast day because in 1941 he volunteered to die in the place of another prisoner (who he didn't know) in the Auschwitz death camp.

But he didn't just randomly get the grace to do this - although I'm sure the amount of grace pumping through him that day was glorious - he lead of life of love. A love that grew and strengthened until he could do the most loving act possible, to lay down his life for another.

K is for Kissing

The above picture is my first kiss (ever) with my husband. No I don't mean the first time I kissed him as his wife, I mean the first time I kissed him EVER. That's right we dated for about 5 months, got engaged, were engaged for 9 months so that means we were together for 14 months before he kissed me. It was kind of a crazy idea but well worth the wait. Our relationship was moving rather fast as you already counted (Let me point out as well, that I was 27, he was 30 and my best friend's older brother so it's not like he was a serial killer) anyway we were worried that adding a physical element might "cloud" our views while discerning if this was the person we were meant to marry.

So this "not kissing thing" all started one night as he was getting ready to drop me off after a date. We were sitting in the car, it was the perfect "kiss moment" and he says "so I might not kiss you till I propose to you or I might not kiss you till I marry you." WHAT!!!! My heart started beating and all I could focus on was he said "when I marry you." He was really planning on marrying me. I kinda shrugged off the kissing part of the statement but later started to realize what I had got myself into. I must admit this was not an easy task for me and I tried to push the envelope whenever I had the chance.

There was a few reasons he had come up with this idea and the concept was not well supported by a lot of friends and family. Sure our "Catholic" friends loved the idea, but modern society called us crazy and always asked "what if you marry him and things don't work right together?" Really is all were made of as man and woman I thought, as if my love for him would be stopped by him being a "bad kisser" or vice versa.

Abstaining from kissing for us, ensured that each of us really knew the person they we were in the relationship with and we weren't distracted by what we were getting physically from the other person.

Well the day finally came when he proposed. It was wonderful of course, he had my friend give my an invitation to our wedding while he was hiding upstairs. When I turned around he was on one knee. It wasn't until later that night that it dawned on - he hadn't kissed and I knew what that meant 9 more months of the torture! :) Looking back now it was such a great test of our devotion to each other and our goal of keeping the other person pure.

So back to the picture, there it is a picture of my first kiss, from my first boyfriend, who turned out to be my husband. I don't remember grabbing his face, but I guess I was just excited. And no need to worry - everything worked out just fine!

K is for Kenosis

KENOSIS

The voluntary renunciation by Christ of his right to divine privilege in his humble acceptance of human status. Paul describes kenosis aptly to the Philippians: "His state was divine, yet He did not cling to his equality with God, but emptied Himself to assume the condition of a slave" (Philippians 2:6-7). (Etym. Greek kenosis, an emptying.)

I googled "list of words in the Catholic Dictionary that begin with K." I saw the list and I picked this word to look up because it sounded interesting and I had no idea what it meant. What a beautiful word...today of all days made me want to cry because of the beauty of what it means.

The last couple of months, I have been involved in the filming of a short film that has the potential to be so beautiful. The story itself is beautiful. Unfortunately, because of my weak and sinful nature I am afraid that is being lost. The hard work, love and care that people have put into it is being poisoned by my actions.

Christ one hundred percent divine and 100 hundred percent human emptied himself for us, for me. He without sin came into the world and took on the very nature that needed to be fixed, our faulty human nature. I can't be but an infinite percent grateful, awed and humbled.

Today I feel empty...I know no amount of penance, suffering will ever make me worthy of His amazing sacrifice. I know that to be empty is the way to fill myself up with Him. And so...I am trying...

Don't get me wrong I haven't lost hope. I am extremely thankful for the graces and love that he continually showers all of us. He is Hope. He is love. With that being said...please pray for me.

:)

K is for Kitchen

I love to cook and bake. While doing dishes isn't my favorite thing in the world, to be creative in the kitchen and to enjoy the fruits (pun intended) of my labor is a joy for me. When my husband and I got married, I began cooking for two people every day instead of one and loved it. We got a recipe book from one of my best friends with some of her favorite recipes all ready to go and I just had to try them out (on a side note: what a fantastic wedding gift! Really from the heart!).  I really care about our health and knowing that what he's eating is good for him and also delicious (ahem) makes my day. What I didn't expect was that he joined me in the kitchen.

I didn't know this until we got married: my husband is an excellent cook and he loves to do it too. Give him a recipe for potato gnocchi and it'll come out perfectly. We now share this passion, watching Food Network, trying out new recipes and grocery shopping together. It's a fantastic way for us to bond. This past year has introduced us to so many different types of foods and cooking methods, with some (hilarious) failures and (delicious) successes. All to create great memories for our family. I can't wait to share this passion with our children and grandchildren one day!

Here's a recipe for chocolate cake that I got from allrecipes.com. If you haven't checked out that website, I'd really recommend it! (I'd also post my mother's world-famous recipe for chocolate icing, but that's a Sheridan family secret, unfortunately.)

Too Much Chocolate Cake

Servings: 12

Ingredients:

1 (18.25 ounce) package devil's food cake mix
1 (5.9 ounce) package instant chocolate pudding mix
1 cup sour cream
1 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
1/2 cup warm water
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

2. In a large bowl, mix together the cake and pudding mixes, sour cream, oil, beaten eggs and water. Stir in the chocolate chips and pour batter into a well greased 12 cup bundt pan.

3. Bake for 50 to 55 minutes, or until top is springy to the touch and a wooden toothpick inserted comes out clean. Cool cake thoroughly in pan at least an hour and a half before inverting onto a plate If desired, dust the cake with powdered sugar.


Enjoy!

J is for the Joy of Cooking

Much like our "H" topic brought to us by Apple Jacs, my topic is J is for the Joy that has to do with cooking meals for others. So I'm no Julia Child's but I love to cook for other people! I love hosting people at my house and making them feel loved and cared for! This week and next are special weeks in my household. My husband is a Band Director for a high school and these two weeks are Band Camp! Yes, Band Camp is real! Anyways every night the group takes a dinner break and last year (being our first year of marriage) I made dinner for him every night and took it to him at work. It was really just an excuse to see him since he's gone from 9am to 9pm. The other staff swore that I was only doing this since we were newlyweds and commented on how they remembered when their wives used to cook for them. I didn't plan on switching my course of action this year just because we were no longer newlyweds. What it's turned into is a joyous ocassion for me to get to take care of his friends. I started cooking for two other staff members that were staying with us. This year I get to cook again, except the number has grown. It seems there is always another staff member who doesn't have something to eat, or thinks that our dinner looks better. I get so excited when I serve them! The other night I didn't think there would even be enough for my husband and our 2 friends staying with us, but the Lord multiplied the loaves and 6 people ate! I've gotten creative with a budget and a shorter amount of time to cook this year but I just keep thinking it's great practice for having a family. Off to think about next weeks menu...