Jesus is dead and buried, but we know He's going to rise on Sunday. So you feel somber but also excited for the next day. You feel weird doing an Easter Egg hunt, but also know that the pain has ended (and it just works out better time-wise that way). I make my mom's Easter bread to get ready for Sunday, but am not sure if I should watch a movie while doing it. After all, Lent's done. The 40 days are spent, right? Usually end up watching something "God-ish" by way of merging the two. After that I'm not sure what to do. Mostly, I feel like I'm waiting for something. Which I am. But what to do in the mean time? Most years... yard work.
Just a weird day. Why put it in there?
This year, however, I understand.
My husband and I miscarried our 3rd baby a couple weeks ago. And what I felt after we found out, I still do not understand. I was sad that our baby was gone. In fact, by the time we found out, they figure the baby had been dead for at least a week. But, being of faith, I knew that our baby was in Heaven, happier than anyone around me. But I wasn't ready for that. I couldn't focus yet on our risen little one. I needed time to feel confused and mourn. His death was complete, I just had the effects to deal with. I knew that I would soon feel better, feel his prayers for myself and my family working in my life. I just needed time.
I needed a Holy Saturday.
2 comments:
Lovely post! Thank you.
Just read this...you are so great at putting thoughts into words! Thank you so much!
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