Give Shoes for Christmas

Check out this video and consider giving a present that helps others this year. I can personally attest to how comfortable these shoes are. I LOVE MY TOMS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysE2VlyvdnI

Health Care Bill and Sex Education

Article from http://www.lifenews.com/

It's funny, the things that never make the news.Take the recent amendment to the Senate health care plan by Senate Finance Committee chairman Max Baucus (D-MT). This language allocates hundreds of millions of dollars of your money toward "Personal Responsibility Education for Adulthood Training."
What can this possibly mean? According to the amendment's mostly vague language, $400 million from the years 2010 to 2015 will be spent on "evidence-based effective programs" that will supposedly teach kids "healthy life skills," including things like "goal-setting, decision making, negotiation, communication and interpersonal skills, and stress management." This looks like standard Washington-speak: a great pile of words that mean whatever they need to mean.
That is, it looks that way until we get to the part of the amendment that deals with sex. Here we find reference to very specific "activities to educate youth who are sexually active regarding responsible sexual behavior." The amendment claims to implement "evidence-based effective programs ... that have been proven on the basis of rigorous scientific research to change behavior, which means delaying sexual activity, increasing condom or contraceptive use for sexually active youth, or reducing pregnancy among youth."
Here we come to the nub of the matter. The "personal responsibility education" referred to in the Baucus amendment is actually sex education. The Senate health care plan is going to teach kids about sex. Graphically, and early. With heaps of tax dollars.
The amendment includes the obligatory passing reference to abstinence, (and does reinstate Title V funding for abstinence programs), and claims to provide "age-appropriate information and activities." However, history shows that these claims are misleading at best. What "age-appropriate information" can the bill possibly have in mind for an 11-year-old boy (included in the bill's intended target group)? Probably not the same "age-appropriate information" the boy's parents have in mind.
And what good is "abstinence education" if contraception and abortion are being pushed right alongside it? Kids receive a mixed message. They are told, with a wink and a nod, that maybe they should abstain from sex, but the chances are that they simply can't - and that no one really can. The past teaches us that "evidence-based" or "comprehensive" sex education is simply code for sexual education that treats sex as unavoidable, rather than a human choice.
In this bleak fantasy, kids are nothing more than farm animals, inevitably and indiscriminately sexual. All that the rest of us can do is simply pick up the pieces.
It is no accident that opponents of abstinence education see this amendment as a great boon to their cause.
William Smith, Vice President for public policy at the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS), congratulated the Senate for including in the health care bill a "new comprehensive sex education program for the states." "This is a huge step in putting evidence and common sense over hypermorality," he gloats.
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy echoes this sentiment.
"As an organization dedicated to preventing teen and unplanned pregnancy," reads a recent news release, "the National Campaign applauds Chairman Baucus and the committee for the focus on strong science ... this investment will help prepare young people for successful transitions to adulthood, alleviate poverty and improve educational outcomes, and improve overall child and family well-being." It all comes down to sex, you see.
How is being treated like an animal a recipe for successful transition to adulthood? While the right to have promiscuous sex may have been the battle-cry of the generation currently in charge of legislation, it is unfair to assume that all of today's children necessarily aspire to that sorry state.
America has some of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the Western world precisely because of the graphic, value-free sex education that children are constantly exposed to. Isn't it time that our legislators stopped wishing for a generation of children as debauched as they are?
The days of Woodstock and free love are long gone, and no amount of public funding or legislative mandates will bring them back.

Cling to our Mother!

During last night's rosary, while saying the 3rd Joyful mystery (the Birth of Jesus) I started thinking about my friend's tiny newborn son who was baptized this Sunday. The image was of him sleeping so deeply and peacefully on his dad's chest while his little arms clung to his daddy's shirt with a death grip. And it hit me: this is how Jesus clung to his mother, with everything that he had, and this is how we are called to cling to her as well. We are just as helpless and vulnerable and we need her just as much!

Celebrity-ism

Apple Jac's previous blog about "New Moon" has inspired me to discuss another fascinating phenomenon surrounding the recent release of the film: Twilight fans, aka Twilighters.

It is expected that any successful story features likeable characters. We've all experienced that dissapointing feeling when we finish a good book and realize that we will no longer be able to see the world through our beloved characters' eyes. I often procrastinate reading the last few chapters of stories I've loved, just to allow its world to continue a little longer. In the end however, it is just a fictional story, with fictional characters and fictional events.

I read and enjoyed the Twilight saga, and can understand why teenage girls relate and fall in love with its characters. What I have found interesting through this entire pop culture craze however, has been the Twilighters' intense devotion to the cast of the movies. The actors in Twilight and New Moon have been under intense security over the past few months, due to their growing fan base. One of the actors, Taylor Lautner, summed it all up during an interview I caught on television when he stated that "[he] hopes [he] can live up to the fans' expectations". Fans of the books finally have people to attribute their beloved characters to. Whether they have realize it or not, to Twlighters, Bella, Edward, Jacob ect., can now live on through the actors' personal lives and stories. It definitely does not take a genius to see what the problem is with this situation. Fans of the story are idolizing a regular actors and attributing to them the qualities of purely fictional characters. Welcome to our culture of celebrity entertainment.

Twilight is not the only example of the celebrity phenomenon. Our culture has created an entire industry based on celebrity-ism. We admire their fame, know their favorite passtimes, follow their relationships and admire their appearances. Celebrities have become the heroes of our generation. The problem is that these "regular" people are in very few cases heroes at all. Is our focus on them distracting us from true present and past heroes? Who are your heroes and why? What do your heroes stand for?

And the Church said...

The Church has spoken on the newest movie in the Twilight saga. Monsignor Franco Perazzolo of the Pontifical Council of Culture said, on Friday, "The theme of vampires in Twilight combines a mixture of excesses that as ever is aimed at young people and gives a heavy esoteric element. It is once again that age-old trick or ideal formula of using extremes to make an impact at the box office. This film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern."

Admittedly, I saw the film opening day (before hearing what Msgr. said), and after thinking I wasted time and money on the first one, was pleasantly surprised to be entertained watching the second, with no real scandalizing content. The one thing my husband and I discussed afterwards, was the fact that this young girl, continues to disrespect her father, be driven entirely by her emotions and has a seriously disordered attachment, to the extent that when her relationship is in jeopardy, she endangers her life with reckless actions. Her beloved goes so far as to attempt suicide when he thinks she is no longer alive. Throughout much of the movie, I kept thinking, "Man, this girl needs the Lord." Her entire world is Edward.

In a society where young girls very easily give their hearts and more to young men when there is no potential for marriage in the near future, a film like this can be dangerous. I do not think any adult woman would be scandalized by these films, though for a single adult woman it could propagate ideas of a whimsical romantic ideal based on emotion rather than reason. I've not read the books in their entirety, only parts, and I've heard the series has some redemptive pro-life and pro-chastity elements, so I'm thankful for those. I will say, though, for a pro-chastity series, there is some very sensual language in the parts of the book I've read, which might explain why the theater was full of girls moaning and groaning inappropriately every time Jacob came on the screen. I am, however, quite glad to see teens being crazed over a film that doesn't have any sex, nudity, foul language, or drug use, rather than the average teen film.

That said, I can see why the Church is cautioning parents about this film. Bella, is begging Edward to change her into a vampire, and says, "I don't care about my soul, I care about you." The Lord says, "What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?" (Mark 8:36)

My favorite movie review site has a great review of the film here: http://www.movieguide.org/box-office/7/10049/the-twilight-saga-new-moon

Today is a gift...

I was recently trying to explain our current NFP situation to some friends when a realization hit me: NFP forces us to live in the PRESENT. That's the hardest thing ever!

A therapist I was talking to told me that not only is our generation more future-oriented, but and upper middle class upbringing also stresses goals and furture planning (ie. this group of people puts tends to focus on setting and meeting goals, but not really enjoying them once they're met).

So here's my thinking: unlike many couples, we truly do not know how many kids God has planned for us. Honestly it's a little bit scary because the unknown always is, but He only does what is best for us!

Now that we're expecting baby #2 (I'll let you know the sex on Thursday) we are getting a LOT more people asking us if we are done or if we are planning more. Most people are also hoping we are having a boy so we'll have our boy and girl and be done, but I'm secretly hoping for another girl. The response I've been giving people is "We honestly do not know how many children we are going to have. I'm only 23 and I don't feel the need to make a final decision right now. Even though we know we know we need a break for now, we don't know how we're going to feel in 1, 2, 5, or 10 years." Most women seem receptive of this answer and find it reasonable as long as I don't automatically hit them with the Church teaching about abstaining for grave reasons and such.

So I guess this is my "live in the present and leave the future to God" pep talk of the week. Any thoughts?

My Brother Passed Away

For those of you that do not know much about me, I am the oldest of nine children. I have five brothers and three sisters. Four of my five brothers are in wheelchairs.

On Tuesday evening, my brother Michael (the oldest boy) passed away in CHOC Hospital due to complications to the flu.
My brother Daniel was also in ICU at the time, and is still currently there. Christopher was taken in to the hospital around midnight that night because he started to look sick and the doctors at the hospital wanted to make sure we brought him in before it was too late. He is currently still in the hospital. They will keep in the hospital until he is able to handle all of his regular feedings.

So, if you could say a prayer for my parents and brothers that would be amazing.
Michael is in the red chair, Daniel in the purple chair, Christopher in the blue chair, and Simon is in the green chair.

God Bless

A World United

My husband and I just arrived home from a trip to Spain. We were there for his business, part of which was attending the largest pro-life event in Spain's history. It was a huge event, where our friend, Eduardo Verastegui spoke to 2 million people marching for the "derecho de vida" (right to life) in Spain. The streets of Madrid were absolutely jam packed with young, old, religious, and lay people declaring their desire for an abortion free country. It was beautiful.

I also had the blessing of making it to mass daily, and when I sat through homilies that I couldn't always understand entirely, there was still so much to meditate upon in these beautifully crafted churches, with all of the art directed towards the beauty of Christ and His saints. Yet, these gorgeous places of worship were hardly being used by the residents of the surrounding areas. The Sunday mass I attended looked like a daily mass at my home parish.

The trip gave me some great perspective as international travel usually does. One of the things that struck me was that the fight against relativism and for orthodoxy is worldwide. It is easy to focus on the terrible direction our nation is heading and the current issues with the USCCB, and our parishes, but the struggle is everywhere. It reminded me of the weakness in our humanity and how alike we are in our concupiscence. We were surrounded by many solid Catholics over there, one in particular who is Opus Dei lay consecrated, and they are all fighting the same battles we face here. They are striving for their own holiness and trying to evangelize in every way they can with those they encounter.

While it was sad to see that the same struggles exist outside our country just as much as they do within it, I felt so strongly the bond of those of us who are united throughout the world through the precious Body and Blood of Christ. What a beautiful unity we have within our Church. While we can see the same scandals across the world, within their midst are people striving to be saints, people who understand that we're made to know and love Christ. Holy Mother Church is powerful and the gates of hell will not prevail against her. Our army is strong and we've all read the book, and we know who wins in the end. We are united in our weakness, but more than anything, in the grace of our Creator, and in the blood of our Savior.

God Knows Best

"He who asks of God in faith things needed for this life is sometimes mercifully heard and sometimes mercifully not heard. For the physician knows better than the patient what will avail for the sick man."

Starting ten days ago, I started a novena to the Holy Spirit. I was praying that Joey would get a job in San Diego before the end of the novena. Eight days in, not only did Joey get the job, but also an apartment. AND not only did he get the apartment, on that eighth day, the apartment complex was able to give him an even better deal than all the previous deals that we had gotten in the past!

God definitely knows what the best timing for His will is. Like I started with, this quote is something that is really hard for me to follow, however, it is times like these where He pulls through, and goes way beyond my original hope!

PRAISE GOD!!!

No photo for this one!

As I was looking though my cousin's photographer's blog to look at a sneak peek of wedding photos, I was reminded of an ever growing trend of pre and post wedding photos: boudoir shots. These are pictures taken of a woman in her undies, sometimes less, normally at a hotel room or her home, then put into an album and given to her husband.

So far I can't find one good thing about these photos. The most common defense I've heard is "but only my husband will see them." Not so much. First of all, your photographer will and possibly any assistants he/she has. The files will be on their computer for who knows how long, and if they have full rights to the photo they CAN use them for marketing purposes (websites, brochures, sample albums) without telling you. Second of all, everyone at the album making company from the person who receives the submission to the person double checking the order will see this. And if they are guys, the images WILL catch their eyes and stick in their minds. Men are very visual creatures!!!

Another thought I've had is what is a guy to do with this album???? Having it around is likely to cause more temptation to lust. It's our job to lead our husbands to heaven - presenting them with an opportunity to fall into sin is quite the opposite.

The other most common argument I've heard is "at least he's looking at photos of me and not random women." It's so sad to see how widespread and almost commonplace pornography has become. Women are willing to tolerate it and to some extent promote it. Lust is lust is lust no matter who you are lusting after. It's our job to speak up and protect the guys we know and love (and even the ones we don't know yet).

So yeah, in the words of my husband "boudior shots suck."

Praying before Work

I have often wondered how you can be an example of Catholicism when you are working in a secular workplace. Obviously, actions speak louder than words (something I am sure we have all heard a thousand times!).
However, I have also recently stumbled upon a prayer book that has a prayer called "Prayer before Working". It was then that I realized how important it is to start of your work day praying. It makes doing any kind of job worthwhile.

Here is the prayer:
Prayer Before Working
We beseech Thee, O Lord, to direct our actions by Thy holy inspirations, and carry them on by Thy gracious assistance, that every prayer and work of ours may begin always from Thee, and through Thee be happily ended. Amen.
St. Joseph.
Pray for us.

For those of us who are also still students, this prayer book also has a prayer called "Prayer before Study". I find this prayer to also help me stay focused on the fact that the reason I am able to learn and go to school is through the Grace of God.

Here is the prayer:
Prayer Before Study (adaptation from St. Thomas Aquinas)
Ineffable Creator, Thou art called the true font of light and wisdom, and the origin of all things. Pour forth a ray of Thy brightness into the darkened places of my mind; disperse from my soul the twofold darkness into which I was born: sin and ignorance.
Grant me keenness of mind, capacity to remember, skill in learning, insight to interpret, and eloquence in speech.
May Thou guide the beginning of my study, direct its progress, and bring it to completion.
Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Holy Mary, Seat of Wisdom.
Pray for us.

opposite of anger

Something Alena said reminded me of something I just read... It said that while the other emotions had opposites (love/hate, desire/aversion, joy/sadness) anger does not.

It seemed wrong to me, but I can't think of what the positive of anger would be.

Any ideas?

Catholics Come Home

In church a couple Sundays ago they played a sample of some commercials that they are going to show in a couple months around the Seattle area. At the end of it everyone was tearing up, even our priest who had shown the video at least 3 other times that weekend.

It was a video from "Catholics Come Home." So beautiful! Ok - it's not working to embed it, so click here: http://www.catholicscomehome.org/epic/epic120.phtml

Turns out the largest religious group in the US after Catholics is fallen away Catholics. (Where is our sticking power people?) So these videos are designed to go out into TV land and get them back.

I guess they did this campaign in Phoenix and 90,000 Catholic came back. 90,000! That's enough to have to start new parishes just to deal with them all!

So prayers that we get all the resources needed to pull this off. And check out the website: http://www.catholicscomehome.org

Help for Pregnant College Students

Just wanted to share a great article about a joint venture initiative by Belmont Abbey College in Belmont N.C. and a crisis pregnancy center called Room at the Inn. Together they have created the first campus-based maternity and after-care residence for pregnant college students. What an awesome model for other Catholic Universities!

Click here to read the article.

The Importance of Living a Moral Life

Unlike what society tries to tell us, there are not many different moralities. There is one truth and one morality. We know this because God is the basis for morality and because God does not change, neither does morality. As a follower of Christ, it is important to understand that it is Christ that we should center our lives around. There is no way that we can separate our actions from the morality that we know is true. If we act one way, that is the way we are. We are the choices we make.

Morality is linked with happiness and cannot be separated from it. Secular society tends to see morality and rules as restricting. The reason they feel this way is because in order to be a moral person, sometimes we must sacrifice immediate goods and wants in order to reach something higher and better for us in the long term. It is important that we recognize that morality answers the question “What should I do” and therefore we realize that morality is not about a list of wrongs and rights, but an opportunity for us to choose something that is higher than what our humanity alone can allow us to achieve. Most people feel that morality is about what we cannot do. They expect that all moral choices involve suffering and sadness. What most people miss, is that morality is not choosing the hardest thing possible. It is about choosing the right thing. Sometimes, choosing the right thing initially might be difficult or uncomfortable. Other times, it is the most exciting, breathtaking moment. Either way, choosing what is right ends up making us the happiest ten times out of ten.

Most of the time people sum up morality into a few subjects; abortion, homosexuality, religion, and abstinence. Although these are decisions that are very obviously moral dilemmas, they are not the only moral situations that we experience in our lives. Everyday we make decisions that lead us towards our final end. Each decision we make changes the distance between us and our goal, heaven. Sometimes, we make decisions that bring us giant steps towards our final goal. However, other times we might not be making much process because we are not choosing what is in our best interest. It is in the simple decisions that we are able to form the habits that will be able to help us when the bigger problems come towards us.

Virtues are extremely important. There is one main reason for this; virtues are habits. They are the good habits. The ones that work with reason and attempt to perfect our free will so that choosing what will lead us to our highest goal will become what is most natural to us. Building up virtues allows our sensitive appetites not to have power over us. Virtues are dependent on the fact that our intellectual virtues are learned through wisdom, knowledge, and understanding of the truth and moral life. Because we are creatures of habits, building positive habits that lead to becoming a person of virtue is one of the most important lessons that we can learn. If we are able to become completely virtuous, choosing the right choice would be the only reasonable choice to make.

Just the way that virtues are so crucial to keeping a virtuous moral life, vices are an obstacle to leading a virtuous moral life. Similar to virtues, vices are also formed through habits, however these habits overpower the reason instead of working with reason to make decisions. Although vices are habits that work against our final goal, the human inclination to be good is always there and therefore allows every person to always have hope. However, when you sin, it is like your soul gets sick. It increases the difficulty for one to stay away from sin. God's punishment for sin is that He allows for us to have it, and enjoy at the time. Once you have experienced it, it makes it difficult for you to withhold the next time. Similarly, sin breeds sin. People do not want to be alone in their sin. This is why when one sibling gets in trouble, they spend their time-out trying to get the rest of their siblings in trouble as well so they do not have to go through it alone.

Moral virtues depend on the intellect. Intellect is also a habit. This habit helps us to understand what is happening and understand the truth. But just like every habit, in order to keep this habit we must use it often. If we cannot understand what is good because we are not practicing this virtue, it can lead to vices. Wisdom is one of the highest intellectual virtues because it is so important in informing the will and therefore informing our reason. It is also through knowledge that we are able to understand how all things lead to God. If we do not continue to try to be informed, our intellect will not be able to inform our reason and will allow ourselves to become weak and more prone to vices.

It is important to understand the difference between formally evil acts and materially evil ones. A material acts are the acts in and of themselves. It asks question about the actual events that occurred in relation to the act. Formal acts are the factors involved in committing the act. Here we must ask the questions relating to the intention and the knowledge that the person committing the acts was experiencing at the time the act was committed. Because of this, an act could be materially wrong but not formally wrong. Similarly, doing something materially right, could not be formally right because of the intention that it is done with.

The will consists of commonsense, intention, choice, deliberation and consent. The will makes decisions based off of it's intellect and understanding of the situation at hand. The will's movements are internal and external. Internally, the intellect moves itself. Externally, the will is drawn to the good. However, the will is not always drawn to the highest good. At some points, the will suffices with the lower good. We should always be striving to align our will towards God because God is our ultimate good. The intention is also crucial to understanding the actions that the will chooses. It can influence the end of the action and the means that one uses in order to get to the end. The value of a choice depends on the object one is choosing. Deliberation is important because it allows us to search for the answer and be able to act with knowledge. Different choices rely on different amounts of deliberation. The amount of time spent on deliberation for an action should relate directly to the intensity of the decision. Finally, consent is crucial to the choice. One must allow themselves to commit the action in order for them to be help responsible for that action.

The passions are critical to the understanding of the moral life because they are known from their experiences. While emotions and feelings are vague, passions are precise. Unlike society's view that passions are the be-all and end-all, passions are not good or evil in and of themselves. They can lead to virtues or vices, but they are neutral. Our concupiscible passions are the ones that have a sensible good or evil. They are love, hate, desire, aversion, pleasure, and sadness. While are irascible passions are the passions that we have difficulty in attainting. These passions are hope, despair, fear, and anger. It is important to understand that our passions are important to be involved in our intellect. However, our intellect should direct our passions to the highest goods. Because our passions are neutral, it is important that we make sure our intellect guides our passions to the highest moral good.

The cardinal virtues are prudence, temperance, fortitude, and justice. Prudence allows us to use practical reason when trying to decide the true good in each circumstance. Justice is important because it gives what is due to our neighbor. In justice, we are called to respect each human being. Justice is a habit that is very important to keep a solid grip on because it is a habitual way of thinking. Temperance guides our concupiscible passions and balances our emotions. “It ensures the will's mastery over instincts and keeps desires with the limits of what is honorable” according to CCC 1809. Fortitude, then, deals with and moderates our irascible passions. It “enables ones to conquer fear of death, and to face trials and persecutions.” (CCC 1808) This is important because without using temperance and fortitude we can easily loose control of our passions.

Although our society seems to think that conscience is something you feel when you are about to make a decision about something that is important, conscience literally means with knowledge. From society's point of view, it is often linked to the idea that you should listen to your heart. However, the church clearly shows that conscience means to make a decision with the knowledge that you are given. There are three functions of a conscience. First, you must identify what the action is from a moral viewpoint. Then, you must identify whether an act is a good act or an evil act. Finally, you must evaluate the action. The only way that society can say that you should always follow your conscience is if your conscience is well informed and properly raised.

Grace is given to us through the theological virtues. The three theological virtues are faith, hope, and love. The grace that God gives us allows us to succeed. He gives us exactly what we need at every part of our life so that we can choose to become closer to Him. It is important that we recognize that grace is given to us in order to make us whole again. Without grace, it is impossible for us to survive in this world. Unlike the cardinal graces that are only acquired through practice, God's grace and theological virtues are given to us as a gift to aide us in our decisions and throughout our experiences so that we are able to be united to Christ. However, because of God's undying love for us, He allows us to reject those virtues and turn our back on Him. However, this always leads to sadness and not happiness.

The ten commandments are important to society. The reason God gives us these laws is not to hinder us or to not allow us to enjoy our time here on earth. He gives us these laws because it is important for us to realize that if we commit theses acts and do not follow the commandments, we will be the ones hurt in the end because doing these things leads to sadness. Just like every society, we need laws in order to make sure that our society's citizens can lead good, healthy, moral lives. People often feel that laws take away from one's freedom. However, there is no true freedom in choosing against God's laws. Doing so will only lead to slavery. The ten commandments are a summary of the entire moral law.

The beatitudes are also important. It is interesting to know that each of the beatitudes leads to the next one. If you follow the first of the beatitude, and are poor in spirit, then you will mourn because you know that you cannot live on your own. One can continue to see throughout the entire beatitudes how each one leads to the next. That is why it ends that those who follow these commands will be in the kingdom of God. Interestingly, the beatitudes are follow by what is known as the antitheses. These talk about the ten commandments. Jesus in the new covenant takes the commandments another step higher. For example, killing someone emotionally with one's anger is also under the commandment that you shall not kill.

God is love. When you love someone, you want to do what they ask of you because that makes them happy. The same goes for Christ's commandments. As christians, we should want to follow the commandments because Christ tells us to follow them for our own good. Because He tells us this, and we love Him, it is only right that we would follow the commandments that He gives to us. Through this class, I was able to understand more clearly why God gives us laws. Unlike society teaches us, the only way to be free is to know your purpose and our purpose to be united with God in heaven. Therefore, the only way that we can find true freedom and happiness is if we follow what Christ teaches to us and follow the laws that He gives us. If He did not love us, He would not give us laws that lead us to Him. But, in His overpowering love, He guides us to Himself so that we can achieve our purpose in life.

Weddings

Well we just got back from a wedding in LA. This was the first wedding that I actually had to leave early (and not because of the babies!). It was at the old LA cathedral - they just refinished the floors, took out the altar (and St. Vibiana herself) and left everything a hollow shell. I fully realize that the church was decommissioned, but something just felt so wrong. We were tempted to drive everyone out of the Temple just like Jesus. I know there are several other Christian churches that have been transformed into restaurants/event venues, but something about knowing that Jesus' true presence used to be there just irked at me.

The beauty of struggling to get through this wedding was finally understanding why the church conducts weddings as it does and has not fallen for the secular notion of "personalize everything." It was a "church" setting with Rev. Julie and her roman collar (I won't even get into that one) and the processional had secular music which honestly made it feel more like a fashion show. Now I get why we need the more solemn music for weddings within the context of the mass: it's about Jesus!! While it may be your wedding day, the focus still needs to be on Christ, just like it needs to be for the rest of your life.

There were 2 bible passages read and part of the verdict from Goodridge vs. The Dept. of Health, Massachusetts, 2003. That'd be the case that said it was unconstitutional for gay couples to "marry." For the first time in my life I felt truly offended. It felt like a complete mockery of the sacrament and of the Christian beliefs they were professing to have those words in their ceremony. If we would have known that passage was being read during the wedding I don't think we would have gone to support them now that we know how they feel about marriage and knowing that they will not support and defend all real marriages - even their own. Sad day. Anywho this taught me why it was important to have the Liturgy of the Word be a part of the ceremony - we should all be reading and hearing it as much as possible and it should just be a natural part of our lives and something we look to when we are celebrating or grieving or anything in between.

The last thing I think I finally understand is why the Church does not let people write their own vows. From the perspective of a bride it sounds really romantic and great...not so much from a guests' point of view. I didn't really care to know that my cousin loves her new husband "like a fat kid loves cake." This is something that can go on a card or can be said in private. The choices that we have for vows really truly spell out the responsibility that we are undertaking. Promising to "love you forever because you are my soulmate" is no where near the same as vowing to love your spouse "or better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Anywho I guess this post is somewhat of a vent for me. I'm really struggling with the way weddings are being treated in my family. Next up: another cousin has decided to "elope" to Hawaii and have a regular wedding reception when they get back because they can't afford a wedding (silly me thinking that the reception is the expensive part!)...please pray for my sanity. I never thought it'd be this difficult to convince Catholic women that having a Catholic ceremony isn't a financial or social burden!

Act of Kindness of the Day

Give a gift of 15 minutes of your time, wherever or whenever it is needed.

The 'Ol Ball 'n' Chain

I'm sure all of us have, at some point, heard a wife referred to as the title phrase of this post. While my husband has never referred to me as his "ball 'n' chain," sometimes I wouldn't blame him if he did. Ok, maybe I would. The point is, I am weak, and give in to my fallen nature way too much.

Let's face it. Those of us who are wives know, we tend to be nags at times. I find the devil tempting me with the tiniest little things and even using my husband's efforts to help around the kitchen or with our daughter, as fuel for aggravation. I will correct him on all these tiny little things, saying that dish doesn't go there or that bib doesn't work for this meal, when really, my husband may not be a professional homemaker, but he's an adult who's perfectly capable of functioning as one (even though he may act otherwise at times;-) ). Not only does this tempt him to lose patience with me, but in doing this, I'm not living out my vocation the way I'm supposed to. It's a bad habit to get into, because, what am I going to do when Mina tries to help around the house? Also, I hate to be a bad example to her of a wife who's constantly criticizing her husband around the house. It does not at all facilitate the type of relaxing atmosphere that should be the home, particularly for a husband who works so hard outside the home to provide for the family.

After a recent confession, in the hopes of helping me break this habit, my regular confessor recommended reading a few chapters in the book of Sirach. I should really read this particular chapter on "the good and the wicked wife" daily, so I wanted to share it. God makes our role as wives pretty clear:

Sirach 26

Happy is the husband of a good wife: the number of his days will be doubled. 2 A loyal wife rejoices her husband, and he will complete his years with peace. 3 A good wife is a great blessing; she will be granted among the blessings for the man who fears the Lord. 4 Whether rich or poor, his heart is glad, and at all times his face is cheerful.

5 Of three things my heart is afraid, and of a fourth I am frightened: The slander of a city, the gathering of a mob, and false accusation - all these are worse than death.

6There is grief of heart and sorrow when a wife is envious of a rival, and a tongue-lashing makes it known to all. 7 An evil wife is an an ox-yoke which chafes; taking hold of her is like grasping a scorpion. 8 There is great anger when a wife is drunken; she will not hide her shame. 9 A wife's harlotry shows in her lustful eyes, and she is known by her eyelids. 10 Keep strict watch over a headstrong daughter, lest, when she finds liberty, she use it to her hurt. 11 Be on guard against her impudent eye, and do not wonder if she sins against you. 12 As a thirsty wayfarer opens his mouth and drinks from any water near him, so will she sit in front of every post and open her quiver to the arrow.

13 A wife's charm delights her husband, and her skill puts fat on his bones. 14 A silent wife is a gift of the Lord, and there is nothing so precious as a disciplined soul. 15 A modest wife adds charm to charm, and no balance can weigh the value of a chaste soul. 16 Like the sun rising in the heights of the Lord, so is the beauty of a good wife in her well-ordered home. 17 Like the shining lamp on the holy lampstand, so is a beautiful face on a stately figure. 18 Like pillars of gold on a base of silver, so are beautiful feet with a steadfast heart.

Read Sirach 25 for the "wicked wife" and more comparison.

The Pope's message to Young Adults

Pope Benedict addressed 10,000 young people in Prague this morning, and delivered an awesome message regarding vocations. Here are some highlights from his talk.

"In every young person there is an aspiration towards happiness, sometimes tinged with anxiety: an aspiration that is often exploited, however, by present-day consumerist society in false and alienating ways. Instead, that longing for happiness must be taken seriously, it demands a true and comprehensive response. At your age, the first major choices are made, choices that can set your lives on a particular course, for better or worse."

“Many of you He calls to marriage...the preparation for this Sacrament constitutes a real vocational journey...Consider seriously the divine call to raise a Christian family, and let your youth be the time in which to build your future with a sense of responsibility. Society needs Christian families, saintly families!"

"And if the Lord is calling you to follow Him in the ministerial priesthood or in the consecrated life, do not hesitate to respond to His invitation. In particular, in this Year for Priests, I appeal to you, young men. ... The Church in every country, including this one, needs many holy priests and also persons fully consecrated to the service of Christ, Hope of the world.”

Our Holy father challenges us to become messengers of Hope in the world, by responding to the vocation God gives us. We must strive to “live [our] faith with joy and enthusiasm; to grow in unity among [ourselves] and with Christ; to pray and to be diligent in frequenting the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist and Confession," Pope Benedict said.

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=17243

Femininity in the Media

For months now, I have been considering my following of the reality television series "18 Kids and Counting" a guilty pleasure. I was reflecting over what it is that draws me to the show, and narrowed it down to one person-- Michelle Duggar. This woman truly inspires me!

Throughout all of her interviews she constantly exudes humility, grace, peacefulness and femininity. I am sure that many viewers must watch the Duggars mockingly, due to their large family size and God-centered life, yet Michelle Duggar is never defensive. In fact, she always finds a gentle way to see goodness in every person and situation that the Duggar family faces. I admire her quiet strength-- an active submission to her call to holiness. All in all, Michelle is clearly a witness of a woman at peace with God's will for her life.

My purpose of this post is not to place Michelle Duggar on a pedestal, but rather to point out a positive example of femininity in the media. Do you watch 18 Kids and Counting? Can you think of any other women on television who "define beauty" to you?

Our Mother and Mediator

My baby spent half of yesterday in tears. The frustrating thing with having an infant, is that although I knew something was hurting him, he was unable to communicate to me what was wrong (other than through crying). He could have been hungry, uncomfortable, or he could have been terribly sick. Because he was unable to help himself, as his mother I was responsible for calling the pediatrician. From there, the doctor helped me assess how we can best help him. Thus, as his mom, I became the mediator for bringing my baby to the physician and helping him feel better.

There are so many times in life when we are unhappy, frustrated, afraid, and unable to help ourselves. Our cries are sometimes very vague, just like those of an infant, because we are not quite sure what is missing. I knew that my baby needed a doctor, and similarly Mary knows that we need her Son. She can act as a mediator and to bring us to Jesus, and even explain to Him what we need, just as she did during the Wedding Feast at Cana. She understands our cries, as a mother understands her baby's needs, and she helps to bring us to our Savior, as a mother helps to bring a baby to the doctor. We are so blessed to have Mary to watch over us! Let us never be afraid to cry to her for help.

Pro-Life Resources

We all know how challenging it can be to find a good doctor these days, especially when it comes to pro-life issues. Here are a couple of resources that may be helpful:

http://www.omsoul.com (One More Soul)
http://www.aaplog.org (Pro-Life OB/GYNs)

Both sites allow you to search for doctors in your area.

Good, Clean, Family Funny

My husband and I took a rare trip to the movies last night and it was so worth it! I highly recommend "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs". It was totally clean, with a great message and laugh out loud funny for the whole family.

Quote of the day

“I am overwhelmed, caught up in how challenging my vocation is. Then I realize that it is no more challenging than any other vocation. It is just more challenging for me, because this is God’s call on my life.”

Kimberly Hahn
Chosen And Cherished: Biblical Wisdom For Your Marriage

"Are you pregnant yet?"

In the recent weeks, I seem to be getting this question a lot, from everyone from close friends, to my husband, and even my regular confessor. My husband and I are eager to give Mina a little brother or sister, but it seems that it's just not God's will yet. This has given me a lot to think about.

Today, while in mass, I was in the bathroom changing Mina and decided to take a pregnancy test I had in my bag, because I thought there was a possibility I was pregnant, and it would be nice to tell my husband just after the Eucharist. The answer was no, and for a moment, I felt as thought I might shed a tear, particularly when I looked at Mina. I thought of all the joy she brings me, and how much more joy another child would bring. I prayed and offered the moment to Mary and her Son for they know better than I when we should have another child, and we went back into the church.

With Mina waddling around, we decided to head into the cry room for the latter part of mass. It was quite full this morning, and not all with little children, but with a few families with handicapped kids, who have random outbursts, making it tough to sit anywhere else. As soon as I walked in, I couldn't help but think, "Thank you, Lord." Right there in front of me was a lesson. I have no idea why the Lord is choosing this particular spacing for Mina and her brother or sister. I have to realize, though I have no reason to think I'm infertile, that I may never be blessed with having another child naturally again. Or, the Lord could be providing this space because someday we will have a child with special needs, or someone else in the family that we can help care for while we only have one child. For whatever reason, I'm not yet pregnant again, and I thank God for this opportunity to desire children.

We know so little about ourselves in comparison with God, and we must always remember His love for us, whenever there is something we don't understand. If there's one thing we should have no control over, it's deciding when a human being should be created or not, and it's for this reason, that I love being completely open to life. It allows us to submit ourselves in a whole new way to His Holy Will, and to say, as women, "I am your handmaid, Let it be done unto me according to your will."

I thank Him for these months of patience, and I thank Him for those of you who are blessed with having children closer together, for there are lessons for all of us in the gift of family life.

To the Woman who Defines Beauty

Happy Birthday Mother Mary!

The look of love

Recently I've really begun to ask myself how do I love? Or, better, how should I love?

This comes from having a few dear ones to me basically doing the moral equivalent of running into the street (or, more, running into on-coming traffic). They know it's not a good idea, but do it anyway. When they tell me about it, I'm not sure what my response should be. What is the loving thing to do?

Up to now, I haven't been able to contain myself and I tell them that while I understand that it may feel good at the time, it will only hurt them. That it IS hurting them - they just don't realize it yet. However, I come across as "hard." They haven't told me this, but I can feel it. True goodness, true love does not come across as being "hard." I don't think Jesus came across as "hard." Not to the sinner anyway - did He? Maybe to the Pharisees, but I think that is because they were dealing with intellectual problems. My dear friends are having love issues.

How do you explain to someone not to throw away their emotions? That the person who they love does not love them back (as is made obvious by the other's actions)? How do you explain to them that they are selling themselves short? without sounding like - excuse me - but a prick?

I read a book recently by Conrad Baars (Catholic psychologist). He talks about the real need for love, and how many of the problems in our culture, many of the psychological and emotional problems are from people not being loved enough/correctly. That the Human person cannot develop properly without being "affirmed." This affirmation, further, is not something you do, but is something you are. It shows in the eyes, more than actions or words. I think he's right. They say that when St. Max Kolbe was being murdered, he looked on the guards with such love that they could not stand it. One had to leave, and the others commanded him not to look at them.

That look cannot be "hard." How do I get that look in my eyes when talking with the ones I love? How do I become that person? If you guys have any thoughts or even know what I'm talking about, I'd really like some ideas.

Blood Money

This trailer caught my attention. The documentary film has no distributor yet, but it seems like an awesome effort to expose the truth about the abortion industry.

Are we high-needs children?

"High-Needs" or "High-Demand" is a fairly common label for many infants. These babies require much more attention from their parents, and are known for being fussy, colicky and easily overstimulated. Despite the fact that they spend a lot of their early months crying, studies show that given the right environment high-demand babies will hit their developmental milestones right with their "easy-going" peers. This is likely to be because high-need babies are held more, rocked more, sung to more, and touched more. In essence, their parents are required to give more in order to meet their demands and help these babies to thrive.

Going through this experience with my son has had me reflecting on my own relationship with God the Father. I often feel "high-needs" when it comes to the faith. I "need" sacraments such as the mass and confession regularly. I constantly fall, and need God's merciful love to pick me back up. I am coming to the conclusion however, that this might not be a bad thing. Some of the greatest saints, such as St. Paul and St. Augustine, were "high-needs". These lost sheep required a immense amount of mercy from our Lord, but their conversions are some of the greatest known to man. Being high-needs provides opportunities for God to constantly pour out his love on us, and guide us closer and closer to Him. My son's need for his parents for his developing mind and body is very good, and our need for God's love for our developing souls is infinitely awesome.

Help with Humility

How are you at asking for help? The past months have been a struggle for me, as I've been learning to deal with a very high-needs infant. I have had several family members offer to help, but in my prideful determination to maintain my "perfect-mom" image I've mostly declined and truly failed to reach out. Deep-down I know that accepting aid will actually make me a better mother to my son, but it sure takes a lot of humility to accept this!

Jesus modeled the path of humility by entering into the world as a small helpless infant. He depended on mere human beings to take care of him, as all babies do. Later in life, He established the priesthood through his apostles to help him spread the Word. Even during His walk with the cross, Jesus accepted help from others such as Simon of Cyrene. If the Son of God needed a hand during his earthly mission, what makes me think that I do not?

As women, we tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect at everything. We need to learn that being open to help is a sign of humility, and not a sign of weakness. Moreover, we all go through times when much is demanded from us, and we need to remember to support and help each other whenever possible. Where would Christianity be, had Mary not accepted her call to help in God's plan?

The "Cost" of raising kids

http://www.parentsconnect.com/articles/cost_of_raising_kids.jhtml

I found this article published by the government to be quite laughable. First of all, because our tax monies is going towards paying multiple people to work on this project every year. Second of all because it's just crazy! According to this Chart we "should" be spending about $15,700 a year on baby E, for a grand total of $290K until she's 18. I think part of the reason that these numbers are a bit inflated is because it includes housing and transportation, but we always considered that a sunk cost because whether or not she existed we'd have a house and cars. THe one that really strikes me is food: $1630. What the heck are you feeding your baby that costs almost $2k a year. Even if you bought only Earth's best and organic everything it STILL won't cost you that much. Eesh. I'm just lazy and E eats whatever we're eating and whatever we have around the house (Her newest fave being tortilla chips). Anywho, just wanted to share this article.

Transitions and Spirituality

It is no secret that as young adults, we experience many changes. Very few of us are stationary during these years of our lives. Many of us attend college, begin careers, move out of our parents' home, move back into our parents' home, change roommates, get married, begin families... You get my drift. It seems as though year to year, things are always very different!

One of my biggest challenges has been maintaining my spiritual life and habits through major transitions. Its obvious that my spiritual life would be different as a single person than it would as a married woman. After the wedding however, my husband and I were surprised how difficult it was to learn to pray together throughout the day.

Most recently I became a mother-- and in the midst of the sleepless nights, feeding schedules and diaper changes, I realized that I was barely praying anymore. Many of my spiritual habits that I had previously formed no longer seemed compatible with my daily life. As much as I enjoyed it in the past, reading 20 minutes from a spiritual book before bed is just not compatible with my sleep deprivation! At this time I can barely concentrate long enough to read a silly magazine article! That being said, I have been so caught up in my newborn that I hadn't developed a new spiritual plan to grow in my vocation as a mother. I need to be creative in finding ways to make my new daily routine prayerful, and hopefully form new habits. As my baby grows, I need to continually make adjustments to my spiritual life (hopefully bring back spiritual reading) based on where God is calling me. It truly is beautiful how our journey here on earth is always changing and allowing us to grow in different ways.

CARITAS IN VERITATE

Our Holy Father's newest encyclical is here! It's focus is a topic we've discussed recently, truth in love, and his insights are brilliant. I haven't finished it myself, but once I started, I could hardly stop, and I can't wait to read more.

He begins by discussing the need for charity to always include truth, and vice-versa. He states, “Truth is the light that gives meaning and value to charity.” Without seeking to share the truth and enlighten those around us, we are not truly loving anyone. “Without truth, charity is confined to a narrow field devoid of relations."

He discusses the need for development of the human person in a world where the focus is on development in science and technology. In the context of this development, he stresses the importance of fraternal love, “Underdevelopment has an even more important cause than lack of deep thought: it is “the lack of brotherhood among individuals and peoples”[52]. Will it ever be possible to obtain this brotherhood by human effort alone? As society becomes ever more globalized, it makes us neighbours but does not make us brothers.” The brotherhood needed is one of love in truth. Our Holy Father wishes us to develop friendships where we call one another to higher virtue, where we push each other to become better human beings, to become what the Lord wants us to be: His saints. As my friends, please always call me on my vices, for that is what sisters in Christ do.

That's just the first few chapters, so I can't wait to read the rest, as I'm sure he'll have so much more insight into this subject, and how we can impact the world, spreading love in truth.

A Day of Rest

I came across an article this morning about keeping Sundays' a holy day of rest. As simple as it sounds, this is a commandment that I greatly struggle with!

As a student, Sundays were always a homework catch-up day for me. I remember believing that after I finished school, I would finally be able to keep the Sabbath holy. It's been a couple of years now however, and my Sundays have now often become a day to catch up on errands and chores. My new excuse has become "when I have a family, I will get really serious about resting on Sundays".

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that “On Sundays and other holy days of obligation, the faithful are to refrain from engaging in work or activities that hinder the worship owed to God, the joy proper to the Lord’s day, the performance of the works of mercy, and the appropriate relaxation of mind and body,” (No. 2185).

As young adults, we often feel "in between", when it comes to family life. We don't always have a typical Sunday routine, like we may have experienced while growing up at home. Our own families may not be established enough to create new traditions. Regardless, there are so many ways that we can keep Sunday a day for our Lord. One very challenging goal that my husband and I have attempted to follow, is to refrain from eating out, shopping, or participating in any activity that requires of others to work. This is much harder than it sounds! Another idea that a friend recently shared with me is going to adoration on Sundays. Turning off the television and doing some spiritual reading, calling a friend, or going for a walk are other great things we can do.

What do you do to keep Sunday's restful??

Our Father's Love

Yesterday, my daughter took her worst fall yet, and survived, but with a big fat blood-blistered lip to show for it. It was a minor spill, as she just head-butted the ground while crawling, but it was one of the most agonizing moments I've experienced. I felt similar pain when she was sick and vomited for the first time a few weeks ago. I felt so impotent, watching her suffer, knowing there was nothing I could do to take it away, and yet I would've done just about anything to make it stop.

This made me think, how much our Blessed Mother suffered! When Simeon said "A sword shall pierce your heart," he wasn't kidding. I can't imagine anything comparing to watching your child suffer the ultimate in suffering. But she accepted it, as the Lord's will, for she knew that He was saving us. How her heart must ache when we reject that salvation.

All the more, how much LOVE does God the Father have for US! Holy Moly! Now, I love you girls, but I don't think I would sacrifice my daughter's life for yours or anyone else's (no offense). God the Father, willingly put his son on Earth to do just that. Even when His Son was pleading with Him to take the cup away, He still allowed Him to suffer and die for us all. THAT IS LOVE!

So I look to Our Lady of Sorrows in awe of her sacrifice and God the Father for His, and I thank them both, along with Our Lord, Jesus Christ who offered himself to save us all. Who'd of thought a little boo-boo would lead to such a meditation!

Unless you live in a bubble, it is likely that you have heard of the Jon & Kate Plus 8 buzz in the media. In the past few weeks, tabloids, magazines and entertainment news shows have been focusing on the couple's struggling marriage. And from the looks of it, Jon and Kate are riding this media wave despite the effects that it has on their family; the show's ratings are higher than ever.

I've been a fan of the show since its beginnings. Like many, I've enjoyed watching the adorable Gosselin children interact, and have been fascinated by the methods Kate uses to run her large household. For most of us longtime fans however, we started noticing changes long before the affair accusations began. In the past few years the Gosselin family home has become a platform for endorsements and product placement, and it has become difficult to ignore Kate's physical "transformation". Even more, in most recent episodes it became clear that Jon and Kate's playful banter during their on-screen interviews was becoming less playful, and much more bitter. I remember feeling a little sad after watching certain episodes, because Jon and Kate seemed so unhappy.

My dilemna is as follows: I have yet to watch this season's premiere. I have seen a few heartbreaking clips from the episode, and I am struggling to decide whether watching a couple's marriage fall apart is an appropriate form of entertainment. Of course with all of the drama surrounding the family, the temptation to watch is stronger than ever. At the same time, I can't help but to be angry at Jon and Kate for continuing to film, despite their broken marriage. They are clearly not putting their children's needs above the show!

Do you think that a boycott of the reality show is needed? It is unlikely that my personal decision not to watch will make a difference to TLC producers, but will it make a difference in my own life?

Full of Love

The past few weeks have been wonderful, chaotic, exhausting, blessed... and there are so many other contradicting words I can think of to describe it. Six weeks ago my husband and I welcomed our first baby into our family. The experience has been unforgettable.

My labor and delivery did not go at all as planned. In fact, it went exactly as I had hoped it wouldn't. Having endured a long and challenging pregnancy, I was convinced that God would "cut me some slack" for my baby boy's birth. After all, he never gives us more than we can handle... and I had had enough! Instead my little one arrived after almost 4 full days of labor, 4 hours of pushing and a c-section delivery. It was the most exhausting experience of my life thus far.

Unexpectedly, the hours and days after D's arrival left me with a surprising reflection. Any event physically, emotionally and psychologically equivalent to D's birth would have put me into a self- pitying recovery hibernation for months. But as I drifted in and out of consciousness (partly due to pain medication, partly due to exhaustion), I still managed to joyfully nurse and attend to our new baby's needs as much as possible. Instead of waking up and feeling tired and in pain, I truthfully felt so full of joy that I thought my heart might burst. I couldn't do enough for D! And as the days continued I was sure that I would eventually run out of adrenaline and have to face reality, but I was wrong-- I never ever ran out of love. Most significantly, there is no doubt that this love was not from me. I was blessed with God's love and grace pouring out of me to take care of His new little soul.

Meanwhile, I had never felt so loved in my life. I was loved by each and every nurse in the hospital, who helped me do simple things we usually take for granted, such as walk or shower. I was loved by my family and friends who were there to support me in their presence and in their prayers. I had never felt more loved by my husband, who stood by my side for the entire experience and was doing all in his power to take care of his newborn baby and his postpartum wife. God's graces were flowing all around me in so many ways. It was amazing!!

From this experience, I have a new understanding of Jesus's love through His cross. Although my suffering is nothing compared to His, I feel that I have had a personal glimpse of His walk on Cavalry. Our Father's love poured through Jesus, to the point of death. We are so blessed to be Christians, because from this cross comes new life, and incredible JOY! This quote by Mother Teresa definitely sums up what I have learned from my experience:

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
-Mother Teresa