Z is for... Zeal

Zeal, according to St. Thomas, "(From delos, a derivative of deo 'to boil', to 'throb with heat'), is 'a necessary effect of love', being 'the vehement movement of one who loves to [secure] the object of his love' (vehemens motus amantis in rem amatam, St. Thomas, Summa Theol. I-II:28:4)." When used most properly to its design (as our life's purpose is to know and to love God), zeal is the burning in our hearts for the knowledge and love of God.

I was driving last week listening to Matt Maher's, "Everything You've Done," per my daughter's request for "songs for Jesus," in which he calls us to "Dance for the Lord." This is our favorite part of the song. When I am most joyful, I am dancing and singing as if no one is watching, so the idea of doing this for the Lord, as David did before the Ark of the Covenant, stirs the fire of love for God in my soul. Perhaps this is also attributed to the fact that my reversion to the faith happened within Life Teen youth ministry. The organization has undergone some attacks in recent years with Msgr. Dale sadly falling away from the Church, but has always stayed Eucharist centered and in line with Catholic teaching. I can't deny the fruits in my own life. In fact, this blog was created as an extension of that ministry as most of us bloggers met there.

Nowadays, my faith has matured as I've grown in formation, and I hope that my zeal grows as my knowledge of Christ does. I am inspired by the silence I find in adoration with gregorian chant at St. Michael's Abbey, and by the unchanged beauty of the Tridintine mass, as well as by spiritual reading, and big or small experiences in my life. As women, I think we are particularly prone to growth from experiences in our lives. We tend to reflect and ponder more than men. While my husband may be on fire for sharing the truth of Christ after reading a chapter of a C.S. Lewis book, my heart is more often stirred by a person I encounter who is in need of the love or truth of Christ, something I may witness during the day, or simply by listening to the lyrics of a beautiful song praising God.

Whatever it is that brings out your zeal for the Lord, pay attention to it. Make sure to keep that as part of your regular routine and prayer life. We have an entire book in the Bible of songs written for Christ, and these are now daily Catholic prayers in the Liturgy of the Hours. Just don't forget to reignite that flame in your heart which burns for God. That initial fire that was sparked by my initial Catholic formation, amidst lots of praise and worship and friendships that lead me closer to Christ, should only be furthered as I grow in formation and virtue. It is that zeal for Christ that brought St. Paul to continue writing while in prison, that gave so many saints the strength to praise the Lord, even as they were being martyred.

A great, short commentary on zeal can be found at New Advent Catholic Encyclopedia.

Y is for Your wife is Hot

While driving on the freeway a billboard caught my eye. "Your wife is hot." What?!

But it got me thinking. What adjectives are used to describe women? What do young girls strive to be? Sadly, I think "hot" is the most sought after status by teenage and young girls. Hot. What is hot? The closest definition I found in the dictionary was "lustful, amorous, or erotic" Girls, is that really all we want to be? Is that how we really want men to view us? How do you think they treat someone who's goal is to be lustful or erotic."

Instead I offer you a challenge: be BEAUTIFUL! You are created in the image and likeness of the Lord and your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit! be BEAUTIFUL! You were created that way!

Oh, and the billboard turned out to be unfinished. Next time I drove by it said "Your wife is hot." Call such and such air conditioning company.

X is for the Cross

I was told once by a priest that the Church does not approve of pictures where Mary is not standing at the foot of the cross. She is not supposed to be swooning or lying crying on the floor, but standing - grieving and loving her Son.

I thought this was beautiful, the Church holding Mary in such high respect that she does not want people to see Mary as weak. And I think it tells us something about the Church's stance towards women in general. They are not weak humans who need to be shielded for all pain, but strong and loving who give their love and strength to others - there when many others are too scared to be.

X is for eXercise

I find that when I exercise I feel a lot better physically, mentally, and spiritually. God made us with a body and a spirit and we need to take care of both. Most important of course is the spirit but we should never neglect the importance of the body because it is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Women can become obsessive about exercise, usually due to vanity, so it is important to have balance. Still though, don't let life keep you from taking care of your body. Dr. Laura often tells her callers who are struggling with feeling down or depressed to start eating well and exercising to help them feel better. I hear her give this advice a lot to mothers who say they are struggling with the challenges of motherhood. It is easy to cut exercise out because we are short on time and don't see it as necessary. I think we need to start seeing it as necessary though because as regards our health is really is a necessity. I have heard that 30 minutes a day 3-4 times a week is sufficient to keep us healthy. This week I start school both as a teacher and as a graduate student. I am going to try to commit to exercising at least 30 minutes 3 days a week this school year. I will likely be tempted to cut it out when I am busy but in the long run I know that exercising will be better for me both physically and mentally.

A Movie Recommendation

I just watched The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio. I've seen it before and enjoyed it, which is why I rented it from the library. It's a great story about a strong woman who uses her writing talents to make ends meet for her big family. She is positive and persistent through the whole film and a great image of a "proper" woman. Plus her 1940's/1950's dresses are fun to see! It was made in 2004 so check the library and NetFlix! "She raised her kids on 25 words or less!"

W is for Work and Witness

Wow, did I wake up exhausted this morning!  I just finished coaching a high school dance team through their "work week", as they prepare for school to start.  This meant that my typical two-hour workday grew to almost a full-day of time clocked-in.  Sixteen months ago I would not have batted an eyelash at the concept, but adding motherhood to the equation brings it to an entirely new level.  To the working moms out there, I don't know how you do it!

I have felt specifically called to part-time work.  Although my employment started out as a financial necessity, it has turned into something much more than an extra paycheck.  Through teaching dance, I have found an creative outlet to share my love of the art and fitness, without sacrificing my primary duties of marriage and motherhood.  In some ways, I feel as though spending those hours each week away from my home rejuvenates me, brings me joy, and helps motivate me to always give my vocation my all.  I have spent many hours listening to music or working on choreography while doing laundry or housekeeping-- thus bringing enjoyment to some of my less exciting responsibilities.

More than this, I have also discovered my ability to use my talents to witness to those people around me.  In some environments that many not be the most naturally Christian, I have the opportunity to spread the love of Jesus.  This can be through love and support, mentorships with younger girls, and the example I pray to lead in the way I live my life.  In addition, by sharing my knowledge of dance, I truly believe that I can provide a healthy outlet and passion to the lives of many young people.

I recently came across an excerpt from John Paul II's "On the Dignity of Women" that struck a chord with me:

"The hour is coming, in fact has come, when the vocation of women is being acknowledged in its fullness, the hour in which women acquire in the world an influence, an effect, and a power never hitherto achieved.  That is why, at this moment when the human race is undergoing so deep a transformation, women imbued with a spirit of the Gospel can do so much to aid humanity in not falling."

This quote truly illustrates our situation and calling as women of God in our present day!  Andi described in her recent post the many hats that mothers wear.  Similarly, many women are being called to share their talents and gifts in the workplace.  God calls us where he needs us, and there is no doubt that He needs strong women in working environments as well.

My marriage and family is always my first priority, above work.  I am the only wife my husband has, and the only mother my toddler has.  At this time I have been called to full-time motherhood, my mom was "at-home", and honestly, I totally get it.  There is nothing wrong in simply being a wife or mother.  In fact, it is beautiful! 

At the same time, I do not believe that this means that a moms cannot aspire to a career, hobby, education or that "something more".  I have met women who work full-time from home, have their own business, or who balance family responsibilities between both parents.  Many moms take their "free time" to volunteer in the community, take on-line classes, or start creative projects at home, like scrapbooking, photography or sewing.  Like JPII stated, by acknowledging our vocation to its fullness, we as women will be able to change the world, whether it is in our home, or outside in a larger community.

W is for Wedding Gowns

I got my wedding gown ten days after I got engaged to my husband. I was home in Canada for Christmas and on a whim, my mother and sisters and I went to a small bridal shop in a small town called Elmira, Ontario (about ten minutes from where Mom lives) "just to take a look".

My perception of what my wedding gown was going to look like definitely changed over the years. I remember being really young and wanting something similar to my First Communion dress, which was a simple, cotton "little girl" dress along with thick, white tights and white shoes. Throughout my youth, teenage years and early twenties, that design changed often and I wondered with anticipation what it'd actually end up looking like.

When I was in the bridal shop, it was a wonderful experience. The seamstress went above and beyond to help me find something that I'd like, even if I didn't end up buying that day. It was so special to be able to share the browsing with my mother and sisters - especially since that now we all live so far away from each other; we were able to be together for what would be the most beautiful day of my life. They knew my taste and they helped me pick about five or six gowns to try on.

The first dress was... okay. It didn't really fit me well and I didn't like it on me that much. The second dress was awful. It was such a gorgeous gown but ended up looking like a big box on me. I remember being in the dressing room a little sad after that, wondering if I'd ever try on something that I'd end up liking. Where was I going to find my dress?

I put the third gown on and walked out. I lifted the skirt carefully so as not to trip over it when I climbed up on to the platform in front of the mirrors. My mother had a huge smile on my face and my sisters nodded in approval. It was a lacy, off-white, A-line gown that had a beautiful champagne ribbon under the bust with a bow. There was another bow at the back of the gown, near where my knees were to give it a slight mermaid feel. It was perfect.

Of course, it needed to be altered significantly. It didn't fit me perfectly, but I'm not sure many wedding gowns initially do. I wasn't a fan of the spaghetti straps on the gown - I asked for cap sleeves instead, knowing that my future husband wasn't a fan of strapless. My final fitting was the following July, when I went back to Canada for a friend's wedding. It fit perfectly, the cap sleeves ended up looking fabulous and I was overjoyed to finally put on the gown that I'd been dreaming about my entire life for my special day.

(Oh, and my veil? I made it myself, using tulle and some fantastic lace I found downtown Los Angeles. Turns out that mantillas are super easy to make - and absolutely gorgeous!)

V for Value

The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.
Mother Teresa

Ladies - Let's practice the loving - no matter the cost or result!

U is for Understanding

We often hear the saying "seek to understand before seeking to be understood." I think women have an innate ability to understand others. Maybe it is because we are made to be mother and will have to understand our children, but we have an ability to understand where someone is coming from or empathize with them. I think it is one of our great gifts at women. When we seek to understand someone we make them feel loved, accepted, and cared for. This is especially important when we are talking about matters of faith and helping to lead someone to conversion. Sometimes we can get so caught up in what we want to change about the person that we forget to first understand who they are and where they are coming from. We sometimes forget to just love them and that in that love God will bring conversion. Father Dave Pivonka, T.O.R. describes an experience like this in his book "Hiking the Camino." Father Pivonka walked the 500 miles of the Camino de Santiago in Spain in thanksgiving for the gift of his priesthood. Along the way he met a woman named Mara. Mara had a lot of pain in her life and was in need of conversion. Father Dave writes of his time with her:

"My time with Mara made it clear to me that I was not supposed to try to convince her of something or of some way of believing. Sometimes I think that, rather than really trying to know another person, especially one very different from myself, I can't get past my agenda of what I want to happen. I want the person to change so badly that I fail to recognize the beauty of the person. Jesus didn't treat people like this. Throughout my entire time with Mara, I felt God asking me to walk with her and be present to her. In the end God was calling me to love."

We need to speak the truth and seek to bring others to conversion but we should never forget to first love and try to understand them.

T is for Tangentially Appropriate

I have said that God is pleased with nothing but love; but before I explain this, it will be as well to set forth the grounds on which the assertion rests. All our works, and all our labours, how grand soever they may be, are nothing in the sight of God, for we can give Him nothing, neither can we by them fulfill His desire, which is the growth of our soul. As to Himself He desires nothing of this, for He has need of nothing, and so, if He is pleased with anything it is with the growth of the soul; and as there is no way in which the soul can grow but in becoming in a manner equal to Him, for this reason only is He pleased with our love. It is the property of love to place him who loves on an equality with the object of his love. Hence the soul, because of its perfect love, is called the bride of the Son of God, which signifies equality with Him. In this equality and friendship all things are common, as the Bridegroom Himself said to His disciples: I have called you friends, because all things, whatsoever I have heard of my Father, I have made known to you.

-St. John of the Cross

T is for...Teaching

In America today, 3 out of 4 K-12 teachers, is female. Think about your favorite teacher growing up. What qualities made them so great? My favorite teacher was my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Sipe. I still remember vividly. It was my first year at a new school after moving across the country for the 2nd time in 3 years. What I remember most, is her warmth, and the emphasis that she put on good behavior in the classroom. She was so genuinely sweet herself, yet not afraid to discipline, that created a class full of children from all different backgrounds, who for the most part, interacted charitably and peacefully.

Even the statistics show that women are more drawn to the profession of teaching, and seem to excel in it more than men. I can't put my finger on just one quality that makes women naturally such good teachers, but I would love to hear your thoughts (especially since several of our bloggers who don't yet have children of their own, and even one who does, are feeding those of others as teachers).

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that, "Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery - the preconditions of all true freedom. Parents should teach their children to subordinate the "material and instinctual dimensions to interior and spiritual ones."³¹ Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children. By knowing how to acknowledge their own failings to their children, parents will be better able to guide and correct them." (CCC 2223)

For those of us who are mothers, it is quite clear that we are the primary educators of our children, as for most of us, we are the primary caregivers. Some of us may choose to homeschool, which makes us our child's teacher, on a whole other level.

Clearly, the Lord calls many women, no matter what their vocation or state in life, to be teachers. What is it about us that makes us particularly fit for educating? Is it patience, nurturing, compassion, listening skills, or is this something that is built into our physical and spiritual makeup?

S is for Service

"Love cannot remain by itself -- it has no meaning.
      Love has to be put into action, and that action is service." - Mother Teresa


There is no way that one can serve with out love, and as Mother Teresa says, the action of love is service. Because love is selfless, it only seeks to help others. When you serve others, you give your life meaning. Your actions become more than just actions. They become part of a story, a legacy, a way of life. 
There is much more to service than just helping others, because if you are only helping others but do not have love, then it is only an action. With love, it becomes more than that. Love in action is a way of life. Giving of one's self, without holding back can be difficult, but well worth it! You never know which act of service turns someone's life around. Or gives them hope when they needed.




Love. Action. Service. Always.

S is for Sick

When you're sick (or your kids are sick) who do you want? MOM! I never truly understood this phenomenon until I became a mother. Whenever E has a cough or teething pain she gets unusually clingy and that's how I figure out that something is bothering her. There must just be something about the gentleness of a mom's touch or her comforting embrace that makes her kids run to her for comfort. What a neat gift from God. :)

S is for Silence

"We need to find God, and God cannot be found in noise and restlessness.  God is the friend of silence.  See how nature- trees and flowers and grass- grow in silence.  See the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence.  The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life."

-Blessed Mother Teresa

R is for Receptivity

A lot of people talk and experience how women are particularly good at giving. we give support to our girlfriends and family members, when a child is hurt they most often go to their moms, etc.

But also I think that it is very important for women to be good receivers. While giving might come more naturally, "What's the problem? Here - do this, or have this" I think that a large part of true femininity is to simply receive. To sit and listen to the problem or complain. To take in the information or emotion that the other person is trying to convey.

Growing up in a family of talkers, I often chose to stay quiet when I was little and so learned to listen. When I was a teenager, I was in a full-production Passion Play for about 5 consecutive years and I remember especially the male actors talking to me for hours and hours while we were waiting for our scene. They told me about acting, their lives, and even one about how aliens *must* have built the pyramids. And being used to being quiet (and finding it quite interesting) I would just actively listen. "Mm-hum? Oh? Really? Why's that?"

But I've been realizing that I've lost that gift to some extent. Virtue is described as a good habit, and I think that I got out of the habit of listening in college. You see, I went to a college where every class is seminar style, so most of your grade depended on what and how much you spoke. While I'm glad I went, and while I think this was a great way to learn, I found myself focusing on what I was going to say next rather than what was currently being said by another classmate.

Sure, I got better after 4 years at the back and forth of class conversation, but this new habit replaced the old - and not always for the better. I'm not saying that women should be seen and not heard, but I do think that women have a particular receptive quality that once made a habit is a great feminine virtue.

I think this quality is shown in the bible when Mary is "pondering in her heart." Now I just have to figure out how to relearn this. Ideas, anyone?

Q is for Quarrels

One of the most beautiful parts about getting married in the Catholic Church is that it's a requirement - and I'm a big fan of that - to attend the Engaged Encounter Weekend before the big day. You and your fiancé(e) must attend together and complete all of the workshops together. All of them. In fact, I'm a big believer in any sort of premarital counseling (whether or not you're Catholic) and a lot of this weekend in particular was applicable to non-Catholics, consisting of real couples talking about everyday issues that will arise in a marriage such as sex, finances, children, fights, inlaws, chores... This is a fantastic way to ensure that you and your fiancé(e) are getting married for the right reasons and it also arms you with some great skills and knowledge for your marriage to make sure that you're protected from divorce as much as possible.

And so, I present to you some of the keys to fighting fairly according to the Engaged Encounter Weekend. This has been a tremendous help for my husband and me, especially since the first year of marriage is statistically the most challenging and quarrels can come easily if you're not prepared.

Be blessed...


•Remember that criticism and sarcasm wound people and destroy our capacity to belong to each other.

•Avoid criticism. Avoid name-calling and character assassination.

•Never fight when one or both of you are under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

•It is a waste of time placing blame. Since you can't un-spill the milk, work at moving forward.

•Avoid using absolutes, such as, "you always" or "you never" or "every time." They are not true.

 •Finish the fight. Even if there are tears, be sensitive, but do not walk away. Continue the fight for your relationship.

•Do not bring in third parties. A parent, a friend, a person at work has no part in your confrontation. The real problem is often a miscommunication.

•Stay physically close to each other. An affectionate touch helps each to know that there is nothing that cannot be worked out in love.

•The issue under discussion is never as important as the two of you are. Being right is not as important as being in relationship.

•Fight for clarification, not to win. If I "win" a fight then I'm sleeping with a loser.

Q is for Questions

Often times our culture has painted "religious" persons as being brainwashed, uneducated and unable to think for themselves.  Religion and tradition are seen as outdated and insignificant to current times.  Even within Christianity, Protestant Christians often label themselves as "progressive", or "mainstream", advertising their pastors with several university degrees, and their new revelations relating to today's issues.  When we think of Catholic Christians we tend to immediately picture a little old lady kneeling and praying her rosary in the front row of the pews, sustained entirely by the faith that she learned from her parents and grandparents.  The truth is, this could not be further from the truth.

Although a simple faith is definitely a gift, it is not how most of today's young Catholics have come to know Jesus.  In public schools we are taught to question everything, God, science, our professors and even our parents.  Distaste for authority has led many sheep astray, but for many of us, asking questions is what has brought us home. 

Being a cradle catholic myself, I have often taken my religion for granted.  It was a part of me that I never actually tried to understand.  It was not until college when my faith was challenged however, that I began asking questions, and seeking answers.  With this came understanding, revelation, and prayer.  And with prayer, I found faith, God, and the Catholic Church.  

I also find that in most cases when somebody challenges the faith, he or she has not honestly researched the Church's teaching about it.  The Church is constantly being labeled by the media as old-fashioned about contraception, cruel about homosexuality, and politically incorrect about abortion.  Unfortunately, those who fight the Church on these issues are the ones with the least understanding on them.  If we all took the time to ask the right questions and seek out the proper resources, we would know that the Church stands for nothing other than Love in all of these issues. 

Asking questions might not stand out as the most feminine of all actions.   Nevertheless, I truly feel that it is by asking questions that women (and men) begin to seek the truth, and find a deeper understanding of who we are and who God wants us to be.  Our faith is so rich, so beautiful, and so deep, that we could spend our lifetime learning new things about it.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek...
...to be understood as to understand.

P for Pregnancy

My husband and I have been married a year as of June 20th and although we want 8 kids, we haven't been blessed with any yet. Pregnancy is a hard topic for me since it's something I so desire but have not experienced it yet. I have learned a lot about trusting in the Lord and realizing that my desires are not always the same as His plans for me. I know I should know this already but I'm still learning how to really trust in Him. I hear verses such as "I know the plans I have for you" ... "Be still and know that i am God" but maybe I haven't put them all into practice quite yet.

One of the hardest things for me in the struggle of not having children is when people assume we don't want them or make comments about how they are "planning" their families or "expecting" that God will provide a child to them in an easy manner. Women just expect they'll get pregnant but it doesn't just "happen" for all of us.

I have also seen the beauty of the Lord's plans for my marriage. Some people have mentioned that not having children right away can make a couple selfish. This is hard for me to hear since I don't want to be selfish but we're also not having children. It has given my husband and I a chance to spend time getting to know each other, but we only have this time because the Lord is giving it to us. It's not because we're choosing through contraception or planning to avoid children, that decision is being made for us. This time the Lord has given me has allowed me to serve others and prepare for (God willing) becoming a parent. This summer my husband and I got to drive across the country at the spur of the moment. Please keep in mind that we would give up all of these experiences for the chance to be parents, but rather than being sad or bitter I am trying to focus on the good the Lord is doing. Finally He just gave me a part time teaching job that will allow me to pay off some student loan debt that has been hanging over our head. Thank you Lord for that gift for when we are given the gift of children through birth or adoption, I will be a stay at home mom- God willing.

Please pray for those of us that are awaiting the Lord's gift of children, that someday we will be able to experience that joy as well. For those of you that are wonderful mothers, thank you for your inspiration and dedication to your children! Mary, mother of Christ, show us how to tend to our children in the way only you can!

O is for One

One is the loneliest number...


We have all probably heard that song right? I think that often times those who are single relate well to this song. Being single can be lonely. I am single and often when I encounter other women who are single and I notice we have very different perspectives on our state in life. It often seems single woman view their single state as an obstacle to overcome, something undesirable, something they are quick to get rid of. Being single there is the temptation to think that God has forgotten about you. It is hard to not think that God just doesn't have a vocation for you right now, especially if you have discerned that you are not called to religious life. If you are single you might find yourself asking God what the hold up is. You might feel like your life is on hold until you finally have your vocation. At one time in my life I felt that way. Then I read something Saint Therese wrote that changed the way I view being single. Saint Therese said "at last I have found my vocation, it is love." It finally struck me that I do have a vocation! God has not forgotten me! I have a vocation, IT IS LOVE! I might not yet be called to one of the three regularly recognized vocations of religious life, marriage, or consecrated single life but I do have a vocation. My vocation is to love. Realizing that helped me to see that being "one" is not a curse. It isn't a disease that needs to be cured. So many girls spend all their time looking for a husband and miss the opportunities that their single state brings. I have fully embraced being "one" and my vocation of love. I have been able to teach and help form today's youth. I was able to go to Honduras and serve Jesus in disguise in the poor. I am able to serve my family and friends in their needs. Being single doesn't mean my life is like a big waiting room and I am just listening for God to call my name and tell me my vocation is ready. Being single means God wants me to serve him and love with all that I have as one person.



I hope to one day be called to marriage and motherhood because it is a desire in my heart but until then, I know I am not lacking a vocation. Ultimately no matter what state we are at in life, we all have the same vocation. We are all called to love. Loving is at the core of being a woman. Don't miss the opportunities you have to love right now because you are focused on wanting something else.

N is for... Nuns!

Ah, Nuns. Brides of Christ. The image of Heaven on Earth, since that is what we will all be in Heaven. What is it about these consecrated women, with only their faces showing, that makes them so beautiful?

My take on it, is that they most perfectly embody femininity at its core (closest to Mary). God designed women, to be receptive. Our bodies are designed this way, and this is a representation of our soul, and therefore, the role we are meant to play in this world. They keep themselves veiled, as perpetual brides of our Lord. They give their lives entirely to be the Lord's handmaids. They lay themselves prostrate and consecrate themselves 100% to Him. They then live, whether they are cloistered or not, detached from the world, and always with their eyes on the infinite.

Nuns exude joy. When one walks into a room, it tends to bring an air of peace, yet also, suddenly everyone stands a little straighter, speaks a little kinder, smiles more. It's not just the stigma of the threat of rulers. They inspire goodness simply because their very appearance lets you know that they are different. It is evident that they are not of this world, and there is s reverence due for that. Even Oprah re-aired her episode with the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist yesterday.

Nuns are a gift to us, as lay women, because we can look to them as models of how to live out our femininity more perfectly. Maybe we don't wear a habit, but do people know what we stand for by the way we carry ourselves? Do we radiate the love and joy of Christ? Are we making enough time for prayer so that we act and react in a peaceful manner?

Thank you Brides of Christ for your sacrifice, for your beautiful example of feminine holiness.

M is for ... Motherhood!

I will start out this post by saying that I am not a mother yet!

However, I have had the best example of what a mother should be like! After 22 years of marriage, my mom has had 9 kids! She has been open to God's will in everything that she is given from Him. Like our Mother Mary in Heaven, she said Yes... to all the challenges & hardships!
Because my brothers have an undiagnosed condition, she has always learned as much as she could about anything and everything related to their condition. She fought to make sure that the public schools would let my brothers into a regular education classes! Time after time, she fights for my brothers and the rest of our family so that we could all have a wonderful life!!!
She always has energy and is ready to go....but most of all, she has instilled in all of her children a love for God and a strong faith... one that continues to challenge us and that we continue to want to know more about. I only wish that I could be as wonderful as a mother as my mom is! Always with the support of my dad, my mom has been a great example of faith and love the way that Mother Mary shows us.

Feast of the Assumption

Happy Feast of the Assumption everyone.

I know this isn't an ABC post but I couldn't let this day pass without mentioning the one who is the perfect model of femininity. Today we celebrate that Mother Mary was so pure that God preserved her body and took it straight up to heaven with her soul. I pray that we all strive to model our lives after Mary so that we too will at the end of time be in heaven, body and soul.

L is for Love

"Only Love Creates" - St. Maximilian Kolbe

Today is his feast day because in 1941 he volunteered to die in the place of another prisoner (who he didn't know) in the Auschwitz death camp.

But he didn't just randomly get the grace to do this - although I'm sure the amount of grace pumping through him that day was glorious - he lead of life of love. A love that grew and strengthened until he could do the most loving act possible, to lay down his life for another.

K is for Kissing

The above picture is my first kiss (ever) with my husband. No I don't mean the first time I kissed him as his wife, I mean the first time I kissed him EVER. That's right we dated for about 5 months, got engaged, were engaged for 9 months so that means we were together for 14 months before he kissed me. It was kind of a crazy idea but well worth the wait. Our relationship was moving rather fast as you already counted (Let me point out as well, that I was 27, he was 30 and my best friend's older brother so it's not like he was a serial killer) anyway we were worried that adding a physical element might "cloud" our views while discerning if this was the person we were meant to marry.

So this "not kissing thing" all started one night as he was getting ready to drop me off after a date. We were sitting in the car, it was the perfect "kiss moment" and he says "so I might not kiss you till I propose to you or I might not kiss you till I marry you." WHAT!!!! My heart started beating and all I could focus on was he said "when I marry you." He was really planning on marrying me. I kinda shrugged off the kissing part of the statement but later started to realize what I had got myself into. I must admit this was not an easy task for me and I tried to push the envelope whenever I had the chance.

There was a few reasons he had come up with this idea and the concept was not well supported by a lot of friends and family. Sure our "Catholic" friends loved the idea, but modern society called us crazy and always asked "what if you marry him and things don't work right together?" Really is all were made of as man and woman I thought, as if my love for him would be stopped by him being a "bad kisser" or vice versa.

Abstaining from kissing for us, ensured that each of us really knew the person they we were in the relationship with and we weren't distracted by what we were getting physically from the other person.

Well the day finally came when he proposed. It was wonderful of course, he had my friend give my an invitation to our wedding while he was hiding upstairs. When I turned around he was on one knee. It wasn't until later that night that it dawned on - he hadn't kissed and I knew what that meant 9 more months of the torture! :) Looking back now it was such a great test of our devotion to each other and our goal of keeping the other person pure.

So back to the picture, there it is a picture of my first kiss, from my first boyfriend, who turned out to be my husband. I don't remember grabbing his face, but I guess I was just excited. And no need to worry - everything worked out just fine!

K is for Kenosis

KENOSIS

The voluntary renunciation by Christ of his right to divine privilege in his humble acceptance of human status. Paul describes kenosis aptly to the Philippians: "His state was divine, yet He did not cling to his equality with God, but emptied Himself to assume the condition of a slave" (Philippians 2:6-7). (Etym. Greek kenosis, an emptying.)

I googled "list of words in the Catholic Dictionary that begin with K." I saw the list and I picked this word to look up because it sounded interesting and I had no idea what it meant. What a beautiful word...today of all days made me want to cry because of the beauty of what it means.

The last couple of months, I have been involved in the filming of a short film that has the potential to be so beautiful. The story itself is beautiful. Unfortunately, because of my weak and sinful nature I am afraid that is being lost. The hard work, love and care that people have put into it is being poisoned by my actions.

Christ one hundred percent divine and 100 hundred percent human emptied himself for us, for me. He without sin came into the world and took on the very nature that needed to be fixed, our faulty human nature. I can't be but an infinite percent grateful, awed and humbled.

Today I feel empty...I know no amount of penance, suffering will ever make me worthy of His amazing sacrifice. I know that to be empty is the way to fill myself up with Him. And so...I am trying...

Don't get me wrong I haven't lost hope. I am extremely thankful for the graces and love that he continually showers all of us. He is Hope. He is love. With that being said...please pray for me.

:)

K is for Kitchen

I love to cook and bake. While doing dishes isn't my favorite thing in the world, to be creative in the kitchen and to enjoy the fruits (pun intended) of my labor is a joy for me. When my husband and I got married, I began cooking for two people every day instead of one and loved it. We got a recipe book from one of my best friends with some of her favorite recipes all ready to go and I just had to try them out (on a side note: what a fantastic wedding gift! Really from the heart!).  I really care about our health and knowing that what he's eating is good for him and also delicious (ahem) makes my day. What I didn't expect was that he joined me in the kitchen.

I didn't know this until we got married: my husband is an excellent cook and he loves to do it too. Give him a recipe for potato gnocchi and it'll come out perfectly. We now share this passion, watching Food Network, trying out new recipes and grocery shopping together. It's a fantastic way for us to bond. This past year has introduced us to so many different types of foods and cooking methods, with some (hilarious) failures and (delicious) successes. All to create great memories for our family. I can't wait to share this passion with our children and grandchildren one day!

Here's a recipe for chocolate cake that I got from allrecipes.com. If you haven't checked out that website, I'd really recommend it! (I'd also post my mother's world-famous recipe for chocolate icing, but that's a Sheridan family secret, unfortunately.)

Too Much Chocolate Cake

Servings: 12

Ingredients:

1 (18.25 ounce) package devil's food cake mix
1 (5.9 ounce) package instant chocolate pudding mix
1 cup sour cream
1 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
1/2 cup warm water
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

2. In a large bowl, mix together the cake and pudding mixes, sour cream, oil, beaten eggs and water. Stir in the chocolate chips and pour batter into a well greased 12 cup bundt pan.

3. Bake for 50 to 55 minutes, or until top is springy to the touch and a wooden toothpick inserted comes out clean. Cool cake thoroughly in pan at least an hour and a half before inverting onto a plate If desired, dust the cake with powdered sugar.


Enjoy!

J is for the Joy of Cooking

Much like our "H" topic brought to us by Apple Jacs, my topic is J is for the Joy that has to do with cooking meals for others. So I'm no Julia Child's but I love to cook for other people! I love hosting people at my house and making them feel loved and cared for! This week and next are special weeks in my household. My husband is a Band Director for a high school and these two weeks are Band Camp! Yes, Band Camp is real! Anyways every night the group takes a dinner break and last year (being our first year of marriage) I made dinner for him every night and took it to him at work. It was really just an excuse to see him since he's gone from 9am to 9pm. The other staff swore that I was only doing this since we were newlyweds and commented on how they remembered when their wives used to cook for them. I didn't plan on switching my course of action this year just because we were no longer newlyweds. What it's turned into is a joyous ocassion for me to get to take care of his friends. I started cooking for two other staff members that were staying with us. This year I get to cook again, except the number has grown. It seems there is always another staff member who doesn't have something to eat, or thinks that our dinner looks better. I get so excited when I serve them! The other night I didn't think there would even be enough for my husband and our 2 friends staying with us, but the Lord multiplied the loaves and 6 people ate! I've gotten creative with a budget and a shorter amount of time to cook this year but I just keep thinking it's great practice for having a family. Off to think about next weeks menu...

J is for Jobs

Until I got married I never knew how many different jobs a wife or mother has. Each day I take care of 2 babies for about 12 hours, I am a chef whipping up 3 meals and 2 snacks and 1 bottle. I'm the housekeeper constantly trying to keep with a never ending list of chores. Some days require me to be a seamstress mending broken clothes or a handywoman (like when the chain on the toilet broke and I had to fix it!). Occasionally I'm a travel agent booking flights and hotel rooms then packing and unpacking for everyone. When there are boo boos I'm a nurse. And all of my kids' waking hours I am their teacher. They learn so much just from watching me do these jobs and spending time doing art or playing tea party with them. And on top of teaching I am their primary disciplinarian so I have to teach them right from wrong and I have to help them get to heaven!

Putting all your energy into them can be satisfying at first but as time goes on it usually leads to frustration and boredom. I REALLY struggle with routine - spontaneity is more my thing - but what do tiny children need? Stability and ROUTINE! One easy way that I try to combat the repetition is to practice a little meditation before each chore. I try to remember pause and say "Lord, I do this out of love for you." The 10 seconds I spend saying that to God pausing for Him somehow make even the most mundane task so necessary to my salvation. For example, we were super low on food last night so I had to make a Costco run with both girls. On the way there I said my little prayer and it just transformed the task from "Ugh I hate going to Costco myself with the girls because it's too hard and I need to get home for bath time and this is going to take forever" to "We really need food. Taking an hour out of my day to do this will provide us food for a couple of weeks. We are really blessed to have the money to buy food. If it takes longer than hour, whatever. It's not like the girls have any concept of time." And the trip turned out not to be a big deal at all once I relaxed...I may even be getting a couch from Costco :)

Try a little recollection this week and let me know how it goes!

K is for Kiss

The above picture is my first kiss (ever) with my husband. No I don't mean the first time I kissed him as his wife, I mean the first time I kissed him EVER. That's right we dated for about 5 months, got engaged, were engaged for 9 months so that means we were together for 14 months before he kissed me. It was kind of a crazy idea but well worth the wait. Our relationship was moving rather fast as you already counted (Let me point out as well, that I was 27, he was 30 and my best friend's older brother so it's not like he was a serial killer) anyway we were worried that adding a physical element might "cloud" our views while discerning if this was the person we were meant to marry.

So this "not kissing thing" all started one night as he was getting ready to drop me off after a date. We were sitting in the car, it was the perfect "kiss moment" and he says "so I might not kiss you till I propose to you or I might not kiss you till I marry you." WHAT!!!! My heart started beating and all I could focus on was he said "when I marry you." He was really planning on marrying me. I kinda shrugged off the kissing part of the statement but later started to realize what I had got myself into. I must admit this was not an easy task for me and I tried to push the envelope whenever I had the chance.

There was a few reasons he had come up with this idea and the concept was not well supported by a lot of friends and family. Sure our "Catholic" friends loved the idea, but modern society called us crazy and always asked "what if you marry him and things don't work right together?" Really is all were made of as man and woman I thought, as if my love for him would be stopped by him being a "bad kisser" or vice versa.

Abstaining from kissing for us, ensured that each of us really knew the person they we were in the relationship with and we weren't distracted by what we were getting physically from the other person.

Well the day finally came when he proposed. It was wonderful of course, he had my friend give my an invitation to our wedding while he was hiding upstairs. When I turned around he was on one knee. It wasn't until later that night that it dawned on - he hadn't kissed and I knew what that meant 9 more months of the torture! :) Looking back now it was such a great test of our devotion to each other and our goal of keeping the other person pure.

So back to the picture, there it is a picture of my first kiss, from my first boyfriend, who turned out to be my husband. I don't remember grabbing his face, but I guess I was just excited. And no need to worry - everything worked out just fine!

I is for Intimacy

I'm reading the book Reedeming Love. It's a really sad book but it's made me think a lot about being a pure woman. The story is about a young girl who finds out that her father had wished that her mother had aborted her. Her father actually has another wife and family and the girl's mom was her mistress. When the young girl is 8, she is sold into prostitution. The story breaks your heart but it gets better. There is a man who we learn of, who is very close to the Lord and has been praying for a wife. The Lord leads him to this young prostitute. A good Christian man, he can hardly understand why the Lord would do such a thing, but he is her only hope at surviving her awful life.
Reading this book has reminded me so much about the beauty of womanhood and how important it is to protect our purity. The Blessed Mother was the image of purity for us. Her soul was protected from original sin and she remained a virgin. One of the greatest gifts we have as women is the ability to share ourselves with our husbands and to bear children. Mary, we ask that you would continue to help us keep ourselves pure for our husbands or future husbands for those of us that are single.

H is for...Heart of the Home

"A wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish will pull down with her hands that also which is built."- Proverbs 14:1

As women, particularly those of us who are married and stay-at-home moms, we probably find that much of our daily duties are those within the home. Our phones and purses may be filled with grocery lists, recipes, chores to be completed, and our laundry baskets and sinks beckon us in the evenings or at nap time. While it may sound mundane, personally, I can think of no better way to spend my days, than by caring for my children, my family, and creating and maintaining our home.

Our Lord consistently described the "good wife" in scripture as one tending to her household with diligence, and with genuine care (Proverbs 31). While feminists may focus on the woman's roles outside the home, our Lord tells us that true femininity is strengthened and best expressed, when a wife and mother focuses inside the home. My role as a wife and mother, is to be the heart of the home, while my husband is the head.

I could focus on the chores that usually make up my day, but that's really not what makes me the heart of the home. Whenever I become overwhelmed with the number of things on my to-do lists, my husband is quick to remind me that while he loves my cooking, and appreciates his clothes being magically returned to his closet cleaned and organized, he prefers take out and a house in disarray if it means coming home to a joyful, warm wife. We can have the cleanest house, with the best food around, but if there's no joy, who wants to be there?

My husband grew up in a Colombian household, where there is a saying that there is never too little food for an extra person, and that anything can be turned into a bed. I grew up in a traditional American home, but ours happened to be the house where everyone came to play because my mom always had the best snacks and didn't mind having a bunch of kids in her backyard or huddled around the tv playing nintendo. One of our goals is to create a home where our friends and loved ones always feel welcome. It's been a great source of growth for me to host and serve guests, not just with dinners, but by providing a place to sleep families and friends. We might only have air mattresses and couches, but we've managed to host a Catholic band of 4 young adults for a week pretty comfortably.

Given the Colombian culture of my husband, and that you never know when we might have an extra person for dinner, I've learned to cook enough food for at least one extra person. It'll either get sent home with my in-laws who frequently pass by in the evenings, eaten for lunch the next day, or frozen for a quick-fix meal later on. Cooking for 4 is hardly more expensive than cooking for 2 + a toddler, and if it means that I can serve better and more joyfully, then it's worth it, even if the leftovers just go the dog. It is my husband, serving as the head of the household, who sees very clearly the virtue of charity in this, who's led me to this place.

The key to all this, is doing it with love. It is essential to include prayer in our day, to keep us centered on the subject of all that we do. Cooking, cleaning, catering to the needs of others strengthens us as women because these are acts of charity. Opening our home to others has allowed us to feed not only bellies, but souls. Relationships grow and when friends are in need, they know where they are going to be welcomed and loved, and it's allowed us to minister at those times. It is the same with my husband and children. When my husband knows that he's coming home to a home with a wife and child who are ready to greet him with hugs, kisses, smiles, and stories of daily happenings, it drives him all the more to work hard to get through his day quickly and efficiently. This is why the "wise woman buildeth her house," knowing that it will benefit everyone around her, which will bring the most grace and joy to her.

If our vocation is to be a wife and mother, let us make this our priority, and not be the fool who tears down what she builds with her own hands. If we aren't making sure that our actions are rooted in love, we may find ourselves cranky, balls of stress that bulldoze the towers of laundry we fold and give a bitter taste to the food we cook.

G is for Girlfriends

I love that the word girlfriend could have so many meanings. I'm sure the first meaning that most people jump to is the girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. So, I'll start there.
Being a girlfriend is a key part of the courtship time. Courting is important because it is time used for two people to decide if God has called them to marry each other, not to marriage in general, but to each other. It is important when you become a girlfriend not to be completely attached to this other person. Family & close friends should be an integral part of this process. If you are still in school, you should encourage each other in your studies. In your work, this relationship should also lead to better work habits. It is also important that when you become someone's girlfriend, your relationship with your family & friends shouldn't suffer. If this other person is making these central relationships suffer, you should really reconsider what the strain on your other relationships are? Is it that you spend to much time alone, only with each other, for example.
Your relationship with God should also become stronger. This other person should be bringing you closer to Christ. Praying with each other and for each other is a crucial part of deciding what God's will for your life is.

Remember, girlfriends can turn into fiances, who turn into wives. You want to make sure that your relationship is healthy so that if you decide it is God's will to marry each other, it is a relationship that is healthy and centered around Christ.
 (Right Photo Credit: True Image Studio, Irvine, CA)

The other type of girlfriends are your closest girls!!! It's important to make time for your girlfriends. Finding women to keep you accountable to your dreams and goals, prayer life, love life, and just to kick back is important for a balanced life! Even after you are married, it is important to make time for the girls in your life. If you are having a hard time finding good girlfriends, look into women groups in your church. Also, joining clubs & organizations for sports or other hobbies can also be a great way to meet women who enjoy the same things that you do!

 No matter what, girlfriends are important in everyone's life!!!!!!

G is for Graceful

One of my favorite feminine adjectives has to be the word graceful.  We use it all the time in dance to describe fluid, light-footed, elegant movement.  Similarly, we use it to illustrate a quality or style about some persons we know-- usually women.  In a quick Google-search of the term, I discovered the definition of graceful to be "characterized by beauty of movement, form, style or execution".

 Of course, grace is also a common word in our faith.  Mary was described as "full of grace" during the angelic salutation.  We are told that we should be in a state of grace to receive Holy Communion.  We receive Jesus's graces through all of the sacraments.  I could go on, but instead I decided to do a quick refresher study on what grace is exactly in Christianity.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that "Grace is favor, the free and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to become children of God, adoptive sons, partakers of the divine nature and of eternal life" CCC 1996.  Grace is a "gift from the Spirit who justifies and sanctifies us" CCC 2003.  There is sanctifying grace, which we receive at baptism and stays with us in our soul, enabling us to receive God and live with Him.  There are also actual grace, or favors, given to us by God to help us live our lives and attain sanctification.  Sacramental graces and special graces can be examples of ways that God enables us to collaborate in our salvation and that of those around us. 

I cannot help but wonder where the historic connection developed between these two similar words.  And why is it, that although grace is equivalently relevant to both men and women in a religious sense, graceful almost is exclusively used to positively describe women.  Could it be that in being feminine, or graceful, we most closely resemble she who was "full of grace"? 

Perhaps I need to spend some time in prayer over this matter, but I would also love to hear if any of you have any thoughts about this.  Why is a woman's feminine quality described as graceful? Does it have any relationship to being grace-filled?

F is for Femininity

There are so many meanings to femininity - I'm hoping a couple of the other girls chime in on this because as I've been thinking about what to write about and I've come up with about 10,000 ideas. (Or, at least more than 5 anyway...)

1) Do I write about my husband's current favorite bible quote: "Who is she that cometh forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array? " - Song of Solomon 6:10

It's traditionally thought to refer to Mother Mary, and I love it as a broader description of femininity.

2) Do I talk about what wikipedia has down as the "cultural norms" of femininity: Cleavage, Corsets, Foot binding, High heels, Modest dress (specifically Muslim female dress), and Neck rings. (I looked that last one up.) Turns out that in some African and Asian cultures long necks are considered pretty, so they put all these rings around them to make them look longer. Anyway, *what* a list!

3) Do I talk about what Paul VI said in one of his Discourses: "...it is evident that women are meant to form part of the living and working structure of Christianity in so prominent a manner that perhaps not all their potentialities have yet been made clear." And NO, this does not mean that one day women will be priests, that is a male potentiality. A woman's goal in life should not be to try (and fail miserably) to take on as much masculine duties and characteristics as possible. But maybe some future female will explain to the Church how all people can fulfill their calling to true contemplation of God. Maybe women will come to a deeper understanding of why they tend to be "naturally religious" and this realization will change society's whole vision of religion. It could be anything. Who knows?

4) OR I could raddle on about John Paul II's phrase in On the Dignity and Vocation of Women (of which I've only read a tiny bit) "To serve means to reign." He talks about how Mary after giving her fiat at the Annunciation, immediately defines her new relationship "I am the handmaid of the Lord" (Lk 1:38). -- by the way -- I also love that she feels the need to define her relationship. I mean, isn't that always what we girls want to do when we get into a new relationship? Are we just friends? Are we in love? Are we not, but will be? What's the deal?! John Paul II says that Mary by saying this "takes her place with Christ's messianic service." And in Christ's Kingdom, there is a "royal dignity of service;" Christ continually says that He has come to serve. Mary realizes this, and when she is told that she has been chosen to be the Mother of God, immediately sees that she will reign as queen. BUT her reigning will consist of serving. So when she says "I am the handmaid of the Lord," she is also saying that she will be queen.

And do you think that Disney came up with the idea that all girls are princesses? I think not. Since Mary is in many ways the culmination of true femininity, her virtues show us our own feminine virtues God has implanted in us. So when a little girl "randomly" dresses up in a gown and declares herself queen or princess, she is really expressing what Mary expressed at the Annunciation: I am made to reign (but reign by serving).

I should probably stop here since I'm not sure that that last one was all too clear... and since the next idea had to do with Free Will, and our will's submissiveness, and our feminine calling to be submissive to our husband's and ultimately Christ... (and you can land in heresy REALLY easily when talking about Free Will) I should probably just leave off here until I think about it a little more.

E is for Emotions

This is a subject I've never written about before, but I have to be thankful for that. I can only hope that writing on something that doesn't come naturally to me will help me, as a writer and as a Christian woman.

Emotions are funny; I don't usually like to talk about them and to be honest, I never really think about them. But I do think that women are naturally intuitive. I’m sure I’m not the only one who can tell if someone I care about is angry, sad, lonely, happy, excited, annoyed based on being around him or her. I see it in my husband, mother, sisters, family, friends, even my students! And it’s a great opportunity to feel connected to other people, since I can chat with them about how they might be feeling, maybe pick them up when they’re down, or share in their happiness or excitement. What a wonderful way to show love. And that’s really what it’s all about, isn’t it?

But we hear all the time that women are “emotional”. It's never meant to be a compliment when you call someone that – especially a woman who could also use a nice piece of chocolate cake at the moment, thank you very much. It’s a negative adjective, flawed... like you shouldn't be that, you silly girl. You should be cool, calm, collected, logical... you should be Spock. Which isn't that bad, to be honest, but it’s not really giving a lot of credit to emotions and the sheer benefits of them.

I think that God gave women their intuition and their emotions because we are nurturers by nature. The majority of us are, or will one day be, mothers. And there's a huge strength in that. I see my mother every day loving her daughters more than anything, even when one of them is 3,000 miles from home. I saw her on one of the hardest days of her life still loving her daughters and ferociously protecting them and understanding them, putting herself last so that her daughters could breathe and be well. I hear from mothers all the time that they would do anything for their children, no questions asked. And, yes, even when we look at children who have been hurt in whatever way or for whatever reason, the strength of their mother cannot be matched. She will fight tooth and nail to ensure the safety of her children, no matter how “emotional” she may come across as.

To be stoic, to be cold, to be an army of Spock replicas, that’s not how God made us, and praise Him for that! In fact, that’s not how he made men or women, in my humble opinion. Christ Himself displayed emotion when He wept for Lazarus. He allowed the children to come to Him, and all of you mommies out there, do you think that said children were serious, statuesque or contemplative in the arms of Christ? I highly doubt it. I’m sure they were happy, probably playing with Him, trying to avoid being tickled maybe. And how sweet is that? I love seeing in films when Jesus is sharing in happy, loving, playful moments, like in The Passion of the Christ when He splashes His mother with water. In another film, I vividly remember Jesus chasing the children as He walked with his disciples. I love that! What an expression of happiness and joy!

Life is so much more beautiful when we embrace the emotions that God gave to us. Even during times of sadness or despair, we are feeling, we are living, we are alive! Thank you, Lord, for this precious gift!