We often hear the saying "seek to understand before seeking to be understood." I think women have an innate ability to understand others. Maybe it is because we are made to be mother and will have to understand our children, but we have an ability to understand where someone is coming from or empathize with them. I think it is one of our great gifts at women. When we seek to understand someone we make them feel loved, accepted, and cared for. This is especially important when we are talking about matters of faith and helping to lead someone to conversion. Sometimes we can get so caught up in what we want to change about the person that we forget to first understand who they are and where they are coming from. We sometimes forget to just love them and that in that love God will bring conversion. Father Dave Pivonka, T.O.R. describes an experience like this in his book "Hiking the Camino." Father Pivonka walked the 500 miles of the Camino de Santiago in Spain in thanksgiving for the gift of his priesthood. Along the way he met a woman named Mara. Mara had a lot of pain in her life and was in need of conversion. Father Dave writes of his time with her:
"My time with Mara made it clear to me that I was not supposed to try to convince her of something or of some way of believing. Sometimes I think that, rather than really trying to know another person, especially one very different from myself, I can't get past my agenda of what I want to happen. I want the person to change so badly that I fail to recognize the beauty of the person. Jesus didn't treat people like this. Throughout my entire time with Mara, I felt God asking me to walk with her and be present to her. In the end God was calling me to love."
We need to speak the truth and seek to bring others to conversion but we should never forget to first love and try to understand them.
3 comments:
This is such a valuable gift we have as women. One reason girl-friends are so valuable! We can understand each other in a unique way and oftentimes because of that can lead each other to grow in a unique way.
A good reminder for whenever we are trying to lead anyone in our lives closer to Christ. We must remember, He humbled himself, coming down to Earth, so that we could relate to Him on our level.
I love how Father remind us that God is calling us to constantly love regardless our of designated agenda.
While studying business in college, I learned a selling technique that has proved to be so valuable in many aspects of my life. Rather than simply throwing out facts and trying to persuade a customer, we (the seller) learned to ask questions, questions and more questions. Once the seller knows what the customer wants, then it is easier to sell them an item from that angle.
This reminds me of your post-- without understanding, we cannot relate to those around us. We must listen, love and support, in order to help them find THEIR path to conversion.
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