A lot of people talk and experience how women are particularly good at giving. we give support to our girlfriends and family members, when a child is hurt they most often go to their moms, etc.
But also I think that it is very important for women to be good receivers. While giving might come more naturally, "What's the problem? Here - do this, or have this" I think that a large part of true femininity is to simply receive. To sit and listen to the problem or complain. To take in the information or emotion that the other person is trying to convey.
Growing up in a family of talkers, I often chose to stay quiet when I was little and so learned to listen. When I was a teenager, I was in a full-production Passion Play for about 5 consecutive years and I remember especially the male actors talking to me for hours and hours while we were waiting for our scene. They told me about acting, their lives, and even one about how aliens *must* have built the pyramids. And being used to being quiet (and finding it quite interesting) I would just actively listen. "Mm-hum? Oh? Really? Why's that?"
But I've been realizing that I've lost that gift to some extent. Virtue is described as a good habit, and I think that I got out of the habit of listening in college. You see, I went to a college where every class is seminar style, so most of your grade depended on what and how much you spoke. While I'm glad I went, and while I think this was a great way to learn, I found myself focusing on what I was going to say next rather than what was currently being said by another classmate.
Sure, I got better after 4 years at the back and forth of class conversation, but this new habit replaced the old - and not always for the better. I'm not saying that women should be seen and not heard, but I do think that women have a particular receptive quality that once made a habit is a great feminine virtue.
I think this quality is shown in the bible when Mary is "pondering in her heart." Now I just have to figure out how to relearn this. Ideas, anyone?
4 comments:
I know exactly what you are saying. As the only girl in my family, I am quite a talker. I have in the last few years though grown to really value the importance of shutting up and listening. I find that it is especially important when talking about matter of the faith. We need to listen to other people and not always be so quick to just tell them how it is. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood. Actually on Wednesay U will be for understand ;)
Look forward to it.
Yeah - I was actually thinking that listening is maybe the *most* important when talking about the faith with someone (especially if they're not of our faith).
We have to know where someone is coming from so that we can meet them where they are at. I have heard that when you spoke with JPII he listened to you like no one else was in the room. I imagien that is how it would have been speaking to Jesus. Actually that is exactly how it is at adoration ;)
Great post! God made us with two ears and one mouth after all : )
And Mary's "pondering in her heart" has recently been jumping into my head A LOT. We can all definitely benefit from this quality!
God bless+
Becky
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