It is disappointing to say, but lately going to mass with a young toddler leaves me feeling nothing but exhausted. Even when he behaves it is challenging to pay attention to readings and focus on prayer. We spend most of the time walking around the church, going in and out of the blessed sacrament chapel, looking through picture books and taking short breaks outside. Although I still subscribe to my magnificat, it spends most of its time at home on my coffee table. Basically I do whatever it takes to keep my baby calm during mass and to make it to communion so that I can receive Jesus.
I am often tempted to consider "what's the point?" Am I truly feeding my soul by being physically present but distracted in every other way? That is when I have to remind myself that God chose the vocation of motherhood for me. If He wanted me to spend my day in prayer, I would be a religious, not a Mom. I may not be receiving very many graces through prayer at mass anymore, but I have to trust that I am earning those graces in other ways, mainly by taking care of my son. And when will I be in a better state to take care of my baby than after receiving Jesus in the Eucharist?
2 comments:
I have a few times taken my niece/goddaughter with me to Mass and although it is harder to pay attention I find that caring for her draws me deeper into God's love because he cares for me as his little child.
I'm sorry I don't feel this way at all. We are looking outside of the Catholic church now, because we feel like the church has turned its back on the needs of families with young children. I have three under five, and why would I even go if i will be spending my whole time in the cry room. It's a higher-stress version of my every day when even the cry room is not really made to let children be children. I don't know what else to say about it, but if you're a practicing Catholic and have several young children, it is made plain that mass is not made for you.
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