First of all, I am not pregnant. I am over one year postpartum, and I fit comfortably into my pre-pregnancy clothes. I have to admit that my body is slightly softer in certain areas than it was before, but I overall I am finally starting to feel like myself again.
The rational voice inside my head tells me that the woman who asked me this dreadful (and tactless) question must have heard a rumor about a pregnancy. Or perhaps she saw my toddler and assumed that it was about time for an another baby to join our Catholic family. Unfortunately, it is difficult to hear these arguments because there is another voice inside my head shouting much louder: "You are fat! So huge! You should exercise more! Your husband must be embarrassed to be around you! YOU should be embarrassed! You LOOK pregnant!!"
I know that I am not the only woman who has ever felt thought such horrible things about myself. The (sometimes deafening) voice inside of me can be really MEAN. In fact, if a friend or boyfriend ever talked to me this way, it would be the end of our relationship. We would break up! So why do we talk to ourselves in this way? Why is it wrong for my friend to call me fat, but it is OK for me to call myself ugly?
One thing that I have really enjoyed during this dress dare is reading everyone's comments about how beautiful and feminine they feel in their skirts. I bet nobody would be making those comments if this was a 31-day diet challenge! It must mean that there is something there-- being feminine makes us feel beautiful! And when we feel beautiful, we can be grateful to God for our gifts and be joyful witnesses to the world.
There are more diet products and books on the market than ever before, but coincidentally, more obesity and eating disorders than ever. In the past 60 years or so, the woman's ideal body has become smaller and smaller. And we are not the only ones changing-- men are getting bigger! Could this be correlated to society's view that femininity is a weakness? I am not a sociologist, but perhaps men and women are trying to find a new balance to counteract other changes that contemporary society has brought.
God made each of us different- tall, short, thin, curvy. As women however, we are all feminine. By embracing this part of ourselves we can love our bodies as a temple of the Holy Spirit and an image of our Creator. God made me beautiful, you beautiful, and ALL OF US beautiful.
Oh, and do not ever, EVER, assume that a woman is pregnant.
6 comments:
Dear Chantal,
Thank you for reminding us that we get so upset when other people make comments about our physical appearance while we are making those same comments to ourselves. We have to learn to love ourselves, while we expect others to love us.
You are so beautiful! :)
And seriously, how have people not figured out that it's rude to ask if someone is expecting unless it's extremely obvious and to touch a prego belly without asking.
The same thing happened to my mom one day...but she was about 13 years postpartum. Most of you know how calm and quiet my mom is, but that one made her so mad and sad :(
Your post made me think... i wonder if Mary ever got asked if "she was expecting" after Jesus. Um... No..
AND I wonder if people gave her a bad time for only having one child. I know that along with children being considered a blessing, it was considered almost a curse if you didn't have a lot of kids.
Could you imagine? Someone looks at Mary and Jesus "So, you only have one then?" And Mary would have to bite her tongue, and not say "yeah - but He's GOD."
I love the way Kimberly Hahn sees her body. After having many children her body is obviously very different. She sees her stretch marks as marks of love because they remind her that she gave her body for love of her children.
I had a friend who got so tired of hearing this question when she was NOT pregnant and her baby was 5 months old, that she finally just sighed and said, "oh, in about 4 months." The lady who asked replied. "You're huge! Are you having twins?" My friend said it taught her to never ever lie again.
Ahhh! That is horrible!!!
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