The Sacrifice of Motherhood

At the moment, God is making me very aware of my calling to sacrifice myself, physically for my children. My belly is rapidly expanding with no signs of slowing, while my toddler still very much likes to be carried most of the day, and when I'm not carrying her, I'm usually chasing her around or on my feet doing housework. My body shape is also changing with this pregnancy, and per doctor's orders, I need to resist the urge to work out, and let my body focus on the life growing inside of it. I'm no hero. I'm just fulfilling my basic duties as a wife and mother. While I've been given these physical means to give of myself, they are only opportunities for grace if I offer myself properly. The truth is, we are all called, as women to motherhood, and it is that giving of oneself for another to nurture souls, that makes us all spiritual mothers.

Whether single, married, consecrated, with or without physical children, we all have a choice to accept or reject our privilege to nurture souls. I have single friends who spend their days educating teens in the faith, taking nights and weekends to help students in extracurricular activities like service projects. Others who go to school during the week themselves, and then spend their free time in youth ministry. I know of others who've taken the time while they're single to offer themselves as missionaries for a year at a time in various parts of the world. They show me, how to give of oneself completely to God, and to others.

However, there are many single people who choose not to accept this time to give of themselves in a unique way. They may spend their evenings after work or weekends at bars or parties, involving themselves with men who aren't interested or prepared for marriage, and they wind up losing precious opportunities for growth in virtue. They may find themselves years from now in a particular vocation, wishing they'd better prepared themselves with all the time they had when they were unattached. There's also married women with children who may go on numerous "girls' vacations" just with their friends (can be good at times, just when balanced properly), spending time away from their families, or neglect their relationships with their spouses and children by spending too much time wrapped up in the things of this world. One mom even told me recently that some of her friends would "sleep train" their children at 6 months of age, leaving them in their crib with the door closed, and going downstairs, turning on music and drinking a glass of wine to drown out their infant's cries for his mother. It's very easy to live selfishly no matter what your state in life.

As women, we have a unique characteristic that makes us capable of nurturing souls in a way men can't. Teachers and nurses are most often careers that women pursue, not just because of the schedules. As someone who went through nursing school with men, from my observations, women just make better nurses (though I will say that men can make fantastic ER, OR, or ICU nurses because of their calm, less emotional manner and physical strength). But when you are bringing a wife and daughter in a room to see their dad on a ventilator for the first time after a heart attack, and the doctor is no where to be found, there is something about a woman, whether she's a mother or not, that makes her more capable of guiding these suffering people through this experience with warmth and care. Women are blessed with a particular grace that, if we accept it, can change the world one person at a time.

Just in the last week, my mom has continued to mother me and her granddaughter, as I was on bed-rest. She woke up a the crack of dawn to cook us dinner, then braved traffic for an hour minimum commute to take my very active toddler for the day, and then make the drive back home in the evening. Though she was taking care of my daughter for most of the day, she was still the most in tune with whatever I needed. No one can replace a mom, or compete when it comes to caring for someone. I'll admit, I can't compete with my mother-in-law when it comes to taking care of my husband, though hopefully, with God's grace, I grow to love my husband as selflessly as she does.

We are all called to mother, no matter what state we're in, to feed immortal souls with love, and truth. Mary, Mother of God, and spiritual Mother to all of us on this Earth, pray for us.