Dare to be beautiful!

A woman in my homeschool group sent this amazing email yesterday and she said it was ok for me to share it with all of you:

Why is it that, for the most part, people’s image of Catholic homeschooling moms is pretty much synonymous with “homely”? Don’t get me wrong – I know many very attractive, stylish, wonderful Catholic homeschooling moms; however, that’s not the dominant image of a Catholic mom, not the image we have chosen to put out there for ourselves. My point is that for some reason we feel like we are holier if we are homely. There – I said it. But I don’t believe this is True. We tend to feel guilty for spending time on our looks, spending money on our clothes, spending energy on exercising our bodies. We feel like we are taking precious resources away from our family. I believe, though, that if we took seriously God’s design for us as women, His desire for our hearts (and bodies!) we would be the hottest mamas on the block!

A family needs the beauty of the woman. I think so often what happens (whether intentional or just by default) is that a woman's beauty is sacrificed for the needs of the family: she gains weight in pregnancy and never loses it; she doesn't have time to spend on attending to her looks as she gets ready each day (heck - sometimes it seems she barely gets time to brush her teeth let alone perfect her make-up); she spends money on clothes for the kids as they quickly outgrow theirs rather than on clothes for herself; she misses out on "beauty rest" in looking after the night-time needs of babies and sick kids; she shuttles her kids to activities and sports and so doesn't have time for activities and exercise of her own...Add all this up and you get a haggard, worn-out, dull (rather than radiant), frumpy, stressed out, resentful wife and mother. Her beauty has been "martyred." But this is so backward! This is NOT holiness -- this is NOT what God intended for woman and her beauty!!
-A husband needs his wife's beauty: he needs to feel proud to have her by his side knowing other men see her beauty and acknowledge she is his; he needs her beauty to call forth is strength, to call him to rise up and work hard to be more than he thinks he can be; he needs her beauty to rouse his desire to protect and fight for his family in the daily battles...
-A boy needs his mom's beauty: he needs to see his mom as the queen of her domain (the household) so that he can recognize his call to knighthood; he needs to learn that beauty is essential to woman and a key way woman differs from man; he needs to see how his dad responds authentically to his mom's beauty in order to learn to do so himself; he needs to see her beauty so he doesn't go off looking for beauty elsewhere before he's ready to battle for and win a beauty for himself...
-A girl needs her mom's beauty: she needs to learn how to be the beauty herself from one who's beauty she recognizes and admires; she needs to see the power and dignity of beauty and how it is authentically used / lived out (if beauty is one of woman's key "weapons," a girl needs to be initiated and trained in the authentic and proper care and use of this weapon / tool); she needs beauty to aspire to, to call her forth to rise up and embrace her own beauty; she needs to see beauty courageous lived to give her courage to live out her beauty in a world that can be hostile to authentic beauty; she needs to see how her dad responds to her mom's beauty, how her mom's beauty calls forth her dad's authentic expression and exercise of strength so that she can hold this up as the standard for how men should respond to her beauty...
A woman's beauty needs to be offered up for her family, NOT sacrificed and "martyred" for her family. It needs to be lived and used for her family's glory and glorification, not used up for them to live in comfort.

This is not said to make you feel guilty or to heap another demand upon you; this is to give you permission to be the beauty you long to be! This doesn’t mean that we ought to spend hours on our appearance and neglect our families. No, we’re not called to look like Victoria Secret runway models. We don’t necessarily need to wear make-up, shop the latest styles, and make daily pilgrimages to the gym. What this means is that first we must acknowledge that WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. We as women are the clearest, truest reflection on this earth of God’s beauty. That is a real responsibility that we must take seriously – and yet a tremendous honor that we should delight in. We should take joy in being the beauty, in embracing our femininity. We do ourselves, our families, indeed the world a disservice if we hide our beauty. You are beautiful – don’t hide that under a bushel basket – let your light, your beauty shine!

-Mary K.