It's Dress Dare Day 31!

I think that calls for a little celebration... Don't you?

Last day of the Dare

Soooooo, YOU DID IT!!! Today is the last day of the dress dare. Some of you have experienced profound effects and some of you have not felt much of a change at all. For the most part though we can all agree that it wasn't that difficult. So, if it isn't that difficult, why not keep it going? Before the dress dare I would sometimes wear jeans with long shirts. I think I will stick to dresses and skirts now with leggings when needed for warmth. This month really has shown me how much dressing like a lady affects me and I like what it is doing. So, comment and let us know how you feel after one month of dresses/skirts. Are you anxious to get back in jeans or are you looking forward to spending the warm summer months in skirts and flip-flops?

A Lesson from Lint

Every time I finish a load a laundry (I'm up to 10 a week!) my lint trap is pretty much filled and I need to hurry and empty it before my almost 2 year old sticks her fingers in there and gets curious. Turns out that lint is the cotton from your clothes deteriorating...yeah I just learned that. It's just another little reminder that nothing of this world is meant to last forever. Not my cloth diapers, not my favorite purple shirt, and definitely not our burp cloths. Might as well start getting detached now, right?

Applause

This blog is for all of you who've joined in the dress dare. CONGRATULATIONS! You have reached the finish line. Just one more day and you've made it an entire month without pants. The thing that I think is most worth of applause, is your openness. This dare, does not come easy to most women in our culture, and I think we've all encountered resistance at some point.

Women are made to be receptive. We were created, physically, emotionally, and spiritually to be receivers, and in order to fulfill this, we must open our souls to the Lord, to His grace, and to those He places in our lives to lead us. The beauty of those who've taken on this dare, is that despite whatever attachments you had, you've embraced the challenge to fight that, for the possibility of growing closer to Christ, and becoming more like His Mother. This alone, makes you more like Mary, because she is our model as the Lord's handmaid. She submitted her entire body and life to Him, though she had no idea all that it would entail.

The feast of the Annunciation is my favorite Marian feast because to me, that is where the moment where she chooses to trust the Lord. We are not all given direct questions by angels, as Mary was, but we are all given the opportunity to embrace God's will each day. We are all called to be His handmaids, His brides, to submit ourselves to Him, no matter what the sacrifice. No sacrifice of ours can compare with what He's done for us, but these sacrifices can be redemptive, and fruitful in our lives, both here on Earth, and in eternity.

Even if you don't see the changes that have occurred in the last month, know that you have likely grown. If nothing else, simply offering your body to Christ, to adorn it modestly, and more as Mary would have (since we've never seen her in pants, even in recent apparitions), and to give up an article of clothing that many find easier and more comfortable, can bear great fruit in your lives. I congratulate you all on being open to growing closer to Christ, and seeking out sanctification. Thank you all for joining me as Sisters in Christ! Knowing that we've been united in this challenge, despite living in various parts of the States and even the world, has made me feel all the more connected to the Body of Christ we find in Holy Mother Church.

P.S. One of our readers recommended this article in a comment and I thought it really captured a lot of our thoughts this month...Cardinal Siri, "Men's Dress Worn By Women"

Better later than never

So - a couple days till the end of the Dress Dare, and I'm finally getting into the skirt groove. I think it took me a month just to figure out what to wear for everyday stuff.. and now that I've got that figured out, I think I'll be wearing skirts (if not everyday) definitely more in the coming months.

Living up in the good old North-West (high of 56 degrees today) I've also figured out that socks and shoes really do make a difference in keeping warm. In summer I'm sure I'll be flip-flopping everyday, but for now little sneakers and super cute rain boots (with wool socks) do the trick!

I am still violently against socks and sandals. Not warm, not cozy (although some people say they are, they are mistaken), and they look crazy. I've been writing to Rome to get an official Heresy named for this, but so far no response (they must be really busy).

Cute skirt story (if anyone is compiling a list): I took my daughter to the park a couple days ago and we were both wearing skirts (Clair has been wearing pants and dresses a lot this month, not because she's doing the dress dare, but I for some reason always dress us alike), and this little girl with her dad walk by and she says "Look! They're both wearing skirts!" The dad says something to the effect of "I know you wanted to, maybe next time." (To the dad's defense, it was a rather rainy day - we might have been the only two girls in skirts in our area.)

But - I think it was a cute reminder (ok - maybe the cute part was how cute this little girl was) that others see what we wear and want to imitate us.

Final Countdown

Only .:three:. days to go!

Do an extra twirl {or two} today.  I won't tell.

Admitting Beauty

Last weekend I was at my parish, standing in line for confession.  It was an ordinary Saturday, until an acquaintance whispered to me five little words that sent my world crashing down:  "How far along are you?".  

First of all, I am not pregnant.  I am over one year postpartum, and I fit comfortably into my pre-pregnancy clothes.  I have to admit that my body is slightly softer in certain areas than it was before, but I overall I am finally starting to feel like myself again. 

The rational voice inside my head tells me that the woman who asked me this dreadful (and tactless) question must have heard a rumor about a pregnancy.  Or perhaps she saw my toddler and assumed that it was about time for an another baby to join our Catholic family.  Unfortunately, it is difficult to hear these arguments because there is another voice inside my head shouting much louder:  "You are fat!  So huge!  You should exercise more!  Your husband must be embarrassed to be around you!  YOU should be embarrassed! You LOOK pregnant!!"

I know that I am not the only woman who has ever felt thought such horrible things about myself.  The (sometimes deafening) voice inside of me can be really MEAN.  In fact, if a friend or boyfriend ever talked to me this way, it would be the end of our relationship.  We would break up!  So why do we talk to ourselves in this way? Why is it wrong for my friend to call me fat, but it is OK for me to call myself ugly?

One thing that I have really enjoyed during this dress dare is reading everyone's comments about how beautiful and feminine they feel in their skirts.  I bet nobody would be making those comments if this was a 31-day diet challenge!  It must mean that there is something there-- being feminine makes us feel beautiful!  And when we feel beautiful, we can be grateful to God for our gifts and be joyful witnesses to the world.

There are more diet products and books on the market than ever before, but coincidentally, more obesity and eating disorders than ever.  In the past 60 years or so, the woman's ideal body has become smaller and smaller.  And we are not the only ones changing-- men are getting bigger!  Could this be correlated to society's view that femininity is a weakness?  I am not a sociologist, but perhaps men and women are trying to find a new balance to counteract other changes that contemporary society has brought.

God made each of us different- tall, short, thin, curvy.  As women however, we are all feminine. By embracing this part of ourselves we can love our bodies as a temple of the Holy Spirit and an image of our Creator.  God made me beautiful, you beautiful, and ALL OF US beautiful.

Oh, and do not ever, EVER, assume that a woman is pregnant.

A Print Tee

I subbed today. Do you know what I saw? I saw a 6 or 7 year old girl wearing a “print t” with a chalkboard on it with writing (it looked like the old school “I will not talk in class sentences”) The writing said “I will kiss boys in school.” No it didn’t say I WON’T kiss boys – I kept thinking maybe I was reading it wrong but no, it said “I will kiss the boys I school.” REALLY??? And so as I sit down to write on our Defining Beauty Blog today I saw we MUST as women, mothers, aunts, adults – remember that our daughter’s, niece’s, little sister’s, etc. deserve to be taught the about the beauty and honor of womanhood. The best part about today is that I brought the book The Privilege of Being a Women by Alice Von Hildebrand to read during my lunch break. I finished it today and I HIGHLY recommend this book to all women. Please go read it, it’s beautiful. And it made me feel so honored and privileged to be a women. How beautifully the Lord designed us women. Thanks God, for making me a women, and inspiring Mrs. Hildebrand to write that book!

Love

Love is patient and kind;

love is not jealous or boastful;

it is not arrogant or rude.

Love does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, edures all things.

-1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I feel it is important to often refelect on this beautiful passage of scripture. When I meditate on this passage I read each line slowly and think about what it really looks like lived out in my life. And remember, Jesus told us that we are to love even our enemies.

Modest Swimsuits

I am having trouble finding a swimskirt. I would just forget swimsuits altogether because I really don't swim anyway, but I have to get in with my sons, ages 2 1/2 and 1, this summer. I wouldn't say that I am picky, but I do want a skirt that is longer than mid-thy. The only maternity skirts I have found are short and therefore not modest at all. I was just wondering if anyone has advice on what to do or where to shop?

The dress dare is going fine for me. The chilly weather in Southern California was challenging, but I stayed strong and wore my dress and leggings proudly. I wake up in the morning looking forward to what I am going to wear that day even though I only have a few choices. The only reactions I've seen are definitely positive, mostly compliments from my husband and friends about my cute outfit for the day. I can't say that I will wear skirts or dresses everyday from now on, but I think that they will become more of a normal wardrobe for me especially when it is warm.

God's Hands and Feet, Without the Arms and Legs

This past weekend, I had the incredible honor of meeting Nick Vujicic, the man with no limbs. You might've seen or heard his inspirational story before, and he truly is inspiring. As soon as I introduced myself, he replied, "Hi Jacque, could I have a hug?" He doesn't have a hand to shake, and can't make the effort physically, so he has to ask for a physical greeting from strangers.

This simple question warmed my heart and had a deep impact on me. I am someone who struggles with allowing someone to help me around the house. I very rarely let anyone even put the dishes in the dishwasher because I am neurotic about how I arrange them. For this reason, bed rest was very good for me. I am slowly learning to let go of the pride that keeps me from first, following doctor's orders, and second, allowing others to accumulate graces by helping me. Whereas, this man is so humble, and so dependent on others, that he will ask for a hug! He relies on others for holding a cup to his mouth to drink, feeding him, bathing, even sitting him on a couch. He can't initiate physical contact himself, something that is vital for all of us as humans, so he asks.

My friend, Eduardo, said, "I want a poster of Nick in my room, so that if I ever feel like complaining, all I have to do is look up at him, and realize I'm being ridiculous." I have to say, I feel exactly the same and just might do it. I am so insanely spoiled, and while we do all suffer in our own way, I have NOTHING to complain about. This man knows that God has a plan for him, and although he doesn't always see it, he rejoices. He's not incapable of crying. He went through quite a bit of despair in his younger years, until he learned, to choose to rejoice. Now, he uses what he has, an incredible ability to speak motivationally and evangelize. He travels the world doing this, and bringing joy to everyone he meets. He can do this by playing a joke, like having his friends stuff him in an overhead compartment of a plane and surprising the next person who comes to put their luggage away, or by telling women like me, that they're beautiful no matter what shape they are, or whether they're wearing the latest styles. He is spreading the message of the love, and joy of Christ to the world, despite having no legs to get himself around. He allows himself to be God's hands and feet, though he has none.

If you have never heard Nick speak, or even if you have, watch his video here, and it will brighten your day. Or check out his acting debut, in the award-winning short film, "Butterfly Circus."

P.S. Chantal, he's from Melbourne.

Dress Dare e-mail received

I received an e-mail recently from someone who is participating in the Dress Dare. I thought it was worth sharing. I changed the company in individuals names...


I've been working at XYZ company as the receptionist. It's a really casual/dress down kind of work place. I told myself when I began working there in January that I was going to set a new standard and wear a dress all the time with the exception of a casual Friday here and there (sometimes I'll wear nice jeans and a fun/fancy/feminine/floral top on these "casual" days of mine).Well. I have never gotten so many compliments in my life nor so much attention from men! The cutest guy at XYZ told me that I looked stunning as always one day. Be still my heart :) One woman, who I didn't even know her name at the time, came up to me and started describing her dresses she has at home and which one I thought she should wear that weekend to go salsa dancing with her husband. She and I are now pals and she is dressing adorably at work. My boss has begun to wear dresses too. She's a total tomboy. When I first started working there, she was always wearing cruddy jeans and sweatshirts paired with black tennis shoes. She has slowly begun to incorporate long skirts and today she wore a dress! One of the directors was chit chatting with me when she walked in the lobby, he goes "WOAH! Susan, you're a GIRL!" Ha! She totally blushed and giggled. You can just tell in her demeanor that her femininity flourishes when she's not in the jeans and tennies. I'm working on the baristas at the coffee bar now. They keep saying how they love my dresses and wish they could dress up for work. I keep telling them they should. They say they don't want to get coffee mess all over their dresses. I tell them to get a couple cheap dresses/skirts at Goodwill or even Old Navy that are their "barista dresses". They're still hemming and hawing, but I think it'd be so cute if they were serving up lattes in their dresses. I told them they'd probably boost their tips as well ;) So, I just got promoted to the Sales team and some of the credit I'm sure goes to my appearance. They're the classiest bunch in the whole company. That lady that was asking my advice on her dresses is on my team! Anyway, I just wanted to share that with you. I think the dress dare is great! Keep up the good work lady!

Dress Dare Effect

So doing this dress dare has had an effect on me in a lot of ways. One of the ways I was not expecting is some sadness after talking with a lot of women about the whole subject of women encouraging other women to wear skirts.

I have had many, many conversations with (mostly) other women about the dress dare. And I've been surprised to discover a lot of deep feelings and often hurt feelings. Basically the hurt comes from women who have been told (or think they are being told) that even though they wear very modest pants, that if they were *really* Catholic/faithful/pious they would wear skirts instead. So they feel put down, hurt, judged, and some even end up going to confession with the "sin" of wearing pants.

Now, just to be clear - I believe I can speak for everyone on the blog when I say that wearing pants is not a sin. And no one here is trying to say that, or make anyone feel like a bad person or not as pious a person if they wear pants. Sin comes in when you, for example, walk out of the house wearing pants (or a skirt for that matter) that is so tight you can almost read where your under lovelies come from, and you KNOW that wearing it will lead another person to lust, and you KNOWINGLY wear it anyway.

Sin is one thing and healthy to talk about, but right not for another day. The dress dare is different, with a whole other intended effect. The dress dare is a challenge that says "ok, given that we're trying to be modest, trying to follow Our Lady and reflect her. How can we do this more? How can we remind ourselves everyday (even if it's annoying because our jeans are right there, calling to us!) to focus on modesty?" In the end, we're asking how can we love others even more. Because modesty has to do with others. If we were on an island by ourselves, we'd wear whatever we liked best and worked, be that sweat pants or a ball gown. But we are challenging one another to love others more through what we wear. Not because wearing pants is not loving, but because we want to do something different, something that classically is seen as feminine and more often easily modest, and focus on it.

I really liked Chantal's post talking about the Miraculous Medal. St. Max Kolbe encourages people to wear the medal NOT out of a sense of duty but out of love. It's a special way to show your love for the woman who said the ultimate Yes to Our Lord. This past week I've really been trying to remind myself that this is why I struggle to wear skirts this month. Not out of a sense of duty, but out of love. Love for others by focusing on being truly beautiful (and therefore modest) and ultimately love for our model of True Femininity, Mary.

The intended effect of the dress dare is to promote Love, something that women do in a very particular way. I'm just now really trying to figure out a way to promote this love in myself and others without hurting other women (the exact opposite of what we're trying to do).

The Princess and the Frog

We watched the Princess and the Frog a couple of times with Big G. This is the first time she's ever seen a princess movie and she seemed t like it (for the short periods when she was watching it, anyways).

I'm really torn about this movie. I liked the quickly unfolding love story between Tiana and Naveen because they started out not liking each other, it grew into friendship, and then a proposal was on the way. Very clean - good for a kids movie. I also fell in love with Raymond, the little Cajun firefly. The music was great and Big G and I were able to dance along with the characters.

On the other hand, the "magic" in this Disney movie was much much darker than the norm. You can tell a child that fairies don't exist, or that witches don't exist, but the way that "friends from the other side" aka demons were being summoned in this movie IS real. It was honestly just too real for me, and I had to look away during some parts.

That's my take on the movie. Any thoughts?

Nightgowns

I have to say I am loving this month of dresses and skirts. As I have mentioned before, I have been wearing mostly skirts and dresses for a while now. Until this month though I did often wear jeans on the weekends. Since not wearing any pants at all I find that I never want to take my dresses off. I used to love getting in my PJ's at night and would often have them on before the sun went down. Now I wait until the last minute to change because I love my dresses. I feel so feminine and pretty. So I decided to go one more these last 10 days of the dare and wear nightgowns to bed. Now I get to feel girly even when I sleep. When I was a little girl I always loved Wendy in Peter Pan because she wears that beautiful nightgown through the whole movie. I am interested to see how I feel putting on jeans again after this month. Who knows maybe the dare will extend further for me.

Confessions of a Jean-Aholic Part II

I have not tried to hide the fact that this Dress Dare is a challenge for me.  We are now more than halfway through, and it is not getting easier!  I am a little disappointed to report that wearing skirts and dresses has not been as "life-changing" as I would have hoped for.  Nevertheless, I have observed some positive (and not so positive) results from taking a part in the Dare.

The most obvious blessing that has come from the Dress Dare for me has been that by purposefully choosing to wear my skirt over my jeans, I have a constant daily reminder of Mary.  Similarly to wearing a cross, miraculous medal, or tying a string around your finger, my clothing helps me to remember to turn to her throughout my day.  No human has ever been closer to Jesus, and I feel that I can put my trust in her to help me walk with Him throughout my days.

The Dress Dare has also given me a boost of energy!  I am a sleep-deprived mommy and part-time dance teacher-- this means that I practically live in my sweats and work-out clothing.  I believe that taking some time out of my day to focus on my outward beauty by planning an "outfit" has actually translated to my inward-beauty, by making me feel more energetic and joyful.

The major difficulty that I have experienced this month is that all of the sudden, I am noticing what everyone around me is wearing.   As someone who really struggles with vanity, this does not seem to be fruitful in my spiritual life.  This passed Sunday at mass, I was distracted for several minutes when I started counting the women in front of me wearing jeans!  I know that God wanted me in prayer and focused on the mass- not on everyone around me.  Although I understand that what we wear can have an impact on our relationship with God and how we are perceived as Christians; there are also much more important things in our world and in our souls to be fighting for.  I suppose I am admitting that I am still not convinced about the significance of wearing skirts.   Has anyone had a similar experience here?

Of course I have not given up...  I have less than 2 weeks to go!  Pray for one another!

Patience

Today in the classroom I was subbing for, we watched a video about patience. It's a series called Auto Be Good (a spin off on cars) with moral lessons about how to be good individuals. I actually watched attentively to the video as I am not that good at being patient. And what did I learn???? Patience is the act of waiting for what's best for us for as long as it takes. Oh Lord, how do you always show up in the little moments to reming me to trust in you!!! So today my motto is to be patient in my waiting for the Lord to give me what I want because I know He will give me what I need WHEN it's best for me! Now if I can just remember that tomorrow!

The Sacrifice of Motherhood

At the moment, God is making me very aware of my calling to sacrifice myself, physically for my children. My belly is rapidly expanding with no signs of slowing, while my toddler still very much likes to be carried most of the day, and when I'm not carrying her, I'm usually chasing her around or on my feet doing housework. My body shape is also changing with this pregnancy, and per doctor's orders, I need to resist the urge to work out, and let my body focus on the life growing inside of it. I'm no hero. I'm just fulfilling my basic duties as a wife and mother. While I've been given these physical means to give of myself, they are only opportunities for grace if I offer myself properly. The truth is, we are all called, as women to motherhood, and it is that giving of oneself for another to nurture souls, that makes us all spiritual mothers.

Whether single, married, consecrated, with or without physical children, we all have a choice to accept or reject our privilege to nurture souls. I have single friends who spend their days educating teens in the faith, taking nights and weekends to help students in extracurricular activities like service projects. Others who go to school during the week themselves, and then spend their free time in youth ministry. I know of others who've taken the time while they're single to offer themselves as missionaries for a year at a time in various parts of the world. They show me, how to give of oneself completely to God, and to others.

However, there are many single people who choose not to accept this time to give of themselves in a unique way. They may spend their evenings after work or weekends at bars or parties, involving themselves with men who aren't interested or prepared for marriage, and they wind up losing precious opportunities for growth in virtue. They may find themselves years from now in a particular vocation, wishing they'd better prepared themselves with all the time they had when they were unattached. There's also married women with children who may go on numerous "girls' vacations" just with their friends (can be good at times, just when balanced properly), spending time away from their families, or neglect their relationships with their spouses and children by spending too much time wrapped up in the things of this world. One mom even told me recently that some of her friends would "sleep train" their children at 6 months of age, leaving them in their crib with the door closed, and going downstairs, turning on music and drinking a glass of wine to drown out their infant's cries for his mother. It's very easy to live selfishly no matter what your state in life.

As women, we have a unique characteristic that makes us capable of nurturing souls in a way men can't. Teachers and nurses are most often careers that women pursue, not just because of the schedules. As someone who went through nursing school with men, from my observations, women just make better nurses (though I will say that men can make fantastic ER, OR, or ICU nurses because of their calm, less emotional manner and physical strength). But when you are bringing a wife and daughter in a room to see their dad on a ventilator for the first time after a heart attack, and the doctor is no where to be found, there is something about a woman, whether she's a mother or not, that makes her more capable of guiding these suffering people through this experience with warmth and care. Women are blessed with a particular grace that, if we accept it, can change the world one person at a time.

Just in the last week, my mom has continued to mother me and her granddaughter, as I was on bed-rest. She woke up a the crack of dawn to cook us dinner, then braved traffic for an hour minimum commute to take my very active toddler for the day, and then make the drive back home in the evening. Though she was taking care of my daughter for most of the day, she was still the most in tune with whatever I needed. No one can replace a mom, or compete when it comes to caring for someone. I'll admit, I can't compete with my mother-in-law when it comes to taking care of my husband, though hopefully, with God's grace, I grow to love my husband as selflessly as she does.

We are all called to mother, no matter what state we're in, to feed immortal souls with love, and truth. Mary, Mother of God, and spiritual Mother to all of us on this Earth, pray for us.

The First Lady

Here is just one more reason I'm glad we are doing this dress dare. I don't want to curse the darkness, and be super negative, but this picture just gave me a lot to think about. Shown here is our current "First Lady." To me, she looks nothing like a lady at her most recent state dinner for the President of Mexico.

When I think of a First Lady, I think, "Jackie O" in her beautiful dresses and classy skirt suits. She epitomized class and elegance. I think this is just one more reason for us to redefine what it means to be a lady. Clearly, in our culture today, we need to bring back formal wear that doesn't mean less clothing, or being so made up that we look nothing like our natural selves. Let us look to Our Lady, not the "First Lady" for our standards of what makes us a "lady."

PS I Know...

I know I should be offering up my knee pain and I really LIKE wearing skirts and don't really desire to wear pants so how about I just offer it up! (I should be working on owning more long skirts and dress tennis shoe things) Anybody have any good intentions I could offer up my irritation for rather than just complaining...???

Hard Week for the Dress Dare

So I'm subbing in a special ed class all week - I've been wearing dresses but I have to wear leggings with them cause I never know what will happen with the kids. I'm also having physical therapy on my knees and I shouldn't be wearing the ballet flats, but I can't find comfortable shoes for work and really shouldn't be spending the money. Today the leggings and shoes made my knee throb the whole day and my physical therapist did not appreciate my shoe choice. My husband is encouraging me to wear tennis shoes with my skirts so I'll have a good story (what a good man) - I don't want this school to think I dress crazy... HELP... I really want to give up for just Thursday and Friday while I'm at work...

Saintly Wisdom

"Such is the will of God that we should have everything through Mary."

-St. Alphonsus Liguori

WARNING:This blog talks about a spider

This morning as I was getting ready for work I looked up and saw a HUGE spider on my ceiling. I decided to get a chair, a cup, and a piece of paper so I could trap and dispose of him. He was far to big to just squish. So I got up on the chair and put the cup over him. I slid the cup closer to me and inched the paper in between the cup and ceiling so he was trapped inside. I slowly lowered the cup and removed the paper to make sure he was inside. To my horror he was not there. I did a crazy fully body shake to make sure he wasn't on me and ran out of the room where he is now free....and feminists say we don't need men.

So Cal Dress Darers

If you are in Southern California right now you know that we are experiencing some major May Grey and even some rain. This is when skirts become a challenge. Don't give up. Right now Target and Kohls have great leggings in many colors that will keep you warm until the sun returns.

Baby Jonah

I just found a DVD series on Netflix called Baby Miracle. It combines the Baby Einstein type of movie (classical music, kid's narrating, puppets, etc) and Bible stories. Big G is obsessed with Baby Jonah, or "peesh" (fish) as she calls it. The narrator tells the story of Jonah and they teach the kids all about different kinds of sea animals. These movies are a great alternative to Baby Einstein. Might as well teach them a bible story if you can!

Dare to Veil?

Congrats ladies! We are almost halfway through our dress dare!

I don't know about all of you, but this challenge has compelled me to really think about femininity in every facet of my life, but more particularly, in my appearance. One aspect of this, is the donning of the chapel veil, or mantilla, in the presence of the Eucharist, or Christ in the tabernacle. I've thought mantillas to be a beautiful sign of reverence for Christ for several years now, but haven't necessarily worn it on a regular basis to mass, except when attending Tridentine or Novus Ordo mass. While it wouldn't be an issue in my home parish (we're so blessed to be near a Carmelite parish with orthodox priests and parishoners), I have at times felt compelled to put on my chapel veil while away from home, and encountered dirty looks and complaints from fellow Catholics, mostly women.

Personally, I find the veil to be a gift we've been given to distinguish ourselves, as women, from the men, in worship. It is not something that degrades us, but rather, guards us, and shows our value. They are frequently made of pretty, delicate lace, and is simply another way we can adorn ourselves in reverence for the Lord. The tradition of the chapel veil is an immemorial custom of the Catholic Church. As of 1917, this tradition was enforced by the Code of Canon Law. It has not been mentioned in the code since, but the custom became less and less popular probably not coincidentally, with the rise of feminism in the 1960s.

Since this dare, I am feeling compelled to veil my head in the presence of the Eucharist on a more regular basis. I am appreciating the feminine dress, and as I was veiled on my wedding day, it does remind me of how I dressed for my husband and the Lord on that sacramental occasion.

I thought this quote on the veil, from St. John Chrysostom, was particularly beautiful: "Woman, because she was created by being drawn from man’s side, is constantly trying to return to him. She desires the original unity of one flesh and one bone. The desire for unity between man and woman is a mirror of the relationship between Christ and the soul. As woman longs for union with man in human relationships, she is also drawn to unity with God. He calls her to become one with Him: to come under His side and become flesh of His flesh and bone of His bone. This occurs during reception of Eucharist. The covering of the head with a veil symbolizes the reality of woman sheltered in the side of her Source and becoming one with Him. She becomes covered and hidden in her Divine Spouse."

If anyone is interested in exploring this topic more, here are a few other blogs I found informative:

Walking with God...

The Catholic Knight

and a friend recently recommended the book, The Chapel Veil: Symbol of the Spouse of Christ, by Elizabeth Black & Emily Griswold, though I have not read it yet.

Anyone else feeling inspired to express their femininity more in other ways?

Skirt Solutions

{For the active lady}

 

Saba Ballet Stars by Puma, $75

Air Rift Basics, $88 by Nike

Glitters by Toms, $54

Rose by Earth, $88

You're TOO Young...

You're too young... It seems to be a phrase that is used very often around me. 

Normally, the conversation includes something like this:

Other person: "Wow, you look so young to have/be...., How old are you?"

Me: "I'm 20."

Other: "Wow, you're soooo young... "

With turning 21 at the end of this month, I have been thinking about everything that I have done in my life thus far, and looking forward to life a head of me. 

A lot of people seem shocked at my age. Over and over and over. It seems to be a continuos cycle. I often get asked about why I decided to get married so young or why I'm not "trying to enjoy my college life more". I have always been stunned by this. 

Throughout my life, I have often been told by people who are older than I am that I am very mature for my age, which is probably from my family's situation. So, I find it very interesting when people that I am meeting now, who do not know my history or family, always ask me if I think I'm too young. I always answer with "Not everyone is called to marriage this young, but I am sure I made the right choice." As coworkers, and others, continue to ask questions about why, my family's story start to emerge. I truly think that God has called me to be an example to others of how to live a happy and fulfilling life. Many people ask me why I am "throwing my life away" by getting married and that I'll miss out on having fun.  I find my life fun, full of responsibility, but fun. And I wouldn't change my decision to get married young, even though it means making a lot of sacrifices at some points. 

I have found one Bible verse in particular to be my motto in life:

"Do not let anyone treat you as if you are unimportant because you are young. Instead, be an example to the believers with your words, your actions, your love, your faith, and your pure life." ~~~~   1 Timothy 4:12

I try to live my life so that I can be an example. God has graced me with a family that makes it very easy for my decisions to be visible. Through the examples of my parents, I strive to live my life in a way that I can point people to God. I find it important to leave my life in God's hands because every time I have left my life in God's hands and have tried to align my will to His will, He has planned something more wonderful than I could have imagined, even though there are many parts of His plan that I do not fully understand nor do I know the full effects of the result of be putting my life in His hands. 

The results of following God's plan, even if it means sacrifice at the time or being uncomfortable, will be far more rewarding than any form of instant gratification or "fun" that I may have encountered by following my own frivolous desires. 

Many people are shocked by everything  I have done in my life, and I think that is because God shocks people with His will. I hope to be able to continue to life my life following His plan so that I will be able to bring more people to understanding true love and responsibility; how they go hand in hand and how they are not a hinderance to a happy and fulfilling life.

Learning to Trust

This past week, I faced one of the scariest moments of my life, when I started severely bleeding and having contractions only 22 weeks into my pregnancy with our 2nd child. We rushed to the hospital, without a clue of what could be happening. All I could think or say to my husband on the way there was, "We just have to trust because we are doing all we can. Whatever's happening is happening." When the nurse had me and the baby on the monitors, and the Dr. performed an ultrasound, we were relieved that little Lukas was stable. Being a nurse, I was the calm one between my husband and I, trying not to show him I was concerned when I could read that the Dr.'s and nurse's faces still showed their concern.

It was when the doctor did a full exam and had a real look of concern at all the bleeding that I started to get scared. When the nurse and Dr. left the room, separated by a curtain, I overheard the nurse ordering a blood test for a condition called DIC, which was one of the scariest conditions I learned about in nursing school. This is an emergency condition in which the body increases clotting and bleeds at the same time, so there's really nothing they can do to treat it. They can't give clotting factors because it could cause more life-threatening blood clots, but they can't give blood thinners either because that could increase the bleeding. One can die at any moment from a blood clot to a vital organ, or suffer fatal bleeding. Pregnancy is a risk factor. Fortunately, my husband left for a bit to go check on our daughter who was at her grandparents' house, since we knew we'd just be waiting for the blood-work for a while. The nurse sat by my bed most of the time, because she was monitoring me very closely. I had a few hours, while I waited for my blood results, to think about the possibilities of the results. For the first time in my life, I had someone testing me for a serious life-threatening condition, and I had to face my own mortality.

Ultimately, all I could do was remind myself of the words I'd spoken to my husband a few hours earlier. I could not change the results of the test. All I could do was pray, and trust in the Lord. Thankfully, though I'm still undergoing further tests, things looked good enough that I could go home on bed-rest. It looks like the main culprit is a low-lying placenta, that partially tore, but that will hopefully move as the uterus expands. DIC is still a possibility for me as some of my labs have been slightly off, but now is the time to learn to be dependent. I am dependent on others right now to care for me, my child, and my husband. More than anything, little Lukas and I are completely dependent on the Lord. Really, it's no different than any other day, because the Lord is always in control. We are all His children, nestled in His arms, relying on Him for the gift of life, grace, and love. It's up to us to hug back, knowing He'll always have us.

Today's Society Longs For More Mr. Darcys

I love Pride and Prejudice and I know many other women who agree with my sentiment. I love the way the men treat the women. Men in Jane Austen's world refer to the women as Miss or Mrs. Men would bow upon entering or leaving a woman's presence and in return the ladies would curtsy. The way they flirted was subtle and might be as simple as the brush of hands. There was a clear distinction between "good" women and women who were, well, less dignified, to put it kindly. The way couples courted was taken seriously so as to protect the woman's fragile heart. Men would have to ask a woman's father's permission in order to even court her. Men faced personal and social consequences if they mislead a woman, which at times even included the man having to move away. Taking a man's name was a sign of his total and complete commitment to a woman. Respectable men would not dare think to kiss a woman until he knew he was going to marry her, including having received her fathers blessing. I love the last scene of the movie when Elizabeth asked Mr. Darcy what he will call her once they are married and he answers her by saying "Mrs. Darcy" over and over again while gently kissing her face.

So why have women so dearly loved this book for almost 200 years now? I think it is because we all long to go back to those days. Women long to be treated with the respect and honor the men in Austin's novel are treated with. Today women are called all sorts of degrading names and not only do men not bow to us but often time don't even open a door for us to go through. Today dating is very casual and men have lost a sense of the delicate nature of the female heart. Men will even lie to a woman to lead her heart in order to obtain from her something men of that time would have known no good girl would even consider. Women today don't seek their father's permission to date. Often times this is because many women do not have a trusting relationship with their father. And most frustrating of all to me is that we live in a time where women after getting married use the dreaded hyphen because they do not want to give up their last name.

Now, this blog in not meant to berate men. I fully blame feminism for men's behavior but women, if we want our Mr. Darcy, and if we want to go back to a day where we were treated with the dignity God designed for us it is up to us to change things. We need to start acting like woman of that time. We need to wear dresses, let men pick up heavy boxes, refuse to kiss on a first or even third date, and allow men the pleasure of chasing after us trying to prove that they are worthy of giving us their name. Fulton Sheen got it right when he said the following, "To a great extent the level of any civilization is the level of its womanhood. When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women."

A Little Meditation

Over the past week I have been reminded how much the world can affect us so I thought I include an excerpt from The Imitation of Mary:

"Bear in mind that never yet have you had dealings with the world without being worse off in God's eyes than when you began.
You must love solitude if you are safely to appear among men. For it is in solitude that you learn to act when you are amid the world.
To live withdrawn from the world is one of the most effective means of preserving your own innocence of soul. Nothing weakens a man's virtue more than the frequent companionship of men.
Can anyone breathe the poisoned air of the world without being infected by it? Pull back into solitude and breathe its purer air.
The holy hermits tell us that they were never better able to converse intimately with God than when they had withdrawn from worldly affairs and worldly company."

As I grow deeper in love with Christ and His Blessed Mother and learn to trust completely in His will for me, I become more innocent. I don't go to many public places: restaurants, movie theaters, ball games etc. since having babies. Most gatherings include only devote Catholic people. Having said that, a couple of weeks ago I went to a Dodger game with my sister and I truly felt scandalized. It was just in the way people talk to each other especially in mixed company. I forget the language people use. My sister and I would look at each other embarrassed at what we were hearing. I think that this meditation on secluding yourself from the world really helps me to remember that everything I do should be for Him.

I almost gave in...

So I had a job interview this morning for a Kindergarten teaching position. It's cold in Fresno (goodness knows why) and I don't have any long skirts that are "interview appropriate" - one long cotton dress - not gonna work. I needed to be able to move around with the kids so I wanted a long skirt, and I didn't want to wear leggings with my dress skirts So I told my husband that I might have to break the dare. Now keep in mind I thought about not telling him about the dare, thought I'd give it a few weeks and see if he noticed or if it affected his attitude at all (just a little experiment,) but when people started joining us I just had to tell him, I was so excited! So imagine my surprise when his response to me breaking the dare it "you better not, I'll rat you out" and then he laughed! HE'LL RAT ME OUT... It was actually really cute and I tried to find out why he wouldn't let me cheat but I couldn't get an answer out of him. Maybe he likes the skirts? So I picked a lower than knee length dress skirt, put on a long sleve black shirt and added a short sleeve purple sweater thing I just bought. Glad I did! Thanks to my husband I didn't cheat! But I could use some suggestions for more foot friendly shoes. I've started physical therapy for my knees and my physical therapist is not a fan of my ballet flats. I found some comfy ones called Bone, but didn't make a purchase yet. HELP!!!

Inspiration

I just can't get enough of these videos...

What this Dress Dare means to me

I've always been "one of the guys." I wear jeans and a goofy shirt every day. Seriously, every day. I just don't know how to dress myself well. If it weren't for Chantal's husband telling me "no" every time I unsuccessfully tried to layer shirts I wouldn't even know how to do that. Even my hubby has to remind me not to wear a blue top with blue jeans and occasionally just gives my outfit a weird look because I didn't get it quite right.

So I decided to use this dare not only to wear skirts, but to learn how to dress more femininly. Hubby even suggested I go shopping! And believe me, I did. :) Turns out I actually enjoy wearing skirts and feeling more girly.

Matt has even complimented me on my outfits the last 5 days in a row. That has NEVER happened. And it does make him happy that I'm wearing skirts so that makes me happy too. However, I don't think our 1 year old understands (or even notices) that she's been wearing skirts the past few days. I have to admit, I have had some trouble with the skirt while bending down to check on the baby, or playing at playdates, but the problem is really that I'm not used to having to keep my legs closed all the time (I can just hear my dad reminding me for the billionth time). It's good practice!

I'm really hoping that after this month I will continue to wear dresses (when I' not nursing) and skirts more, especially during the warmer months. No more worrying about finding decent shorts for me!

Keep up the awesome work ladies! (sorry for the dated picture...there are no photos of me in a skirt. Or of me at all recently.)

A Week Observed

Congratulations fellow dress-ers! We have made it one week in our feminine apparel. I thought I would take this blog to share my observations of how this has impacted me so far.

Since wearing skirts and dresses, the most obvious difference is how I move. When I walk, my skirt flows around me, making my walk slightly more delicate, and I feel more graceful. When I sit on the floor with my daughter, rather than sitting with my legs open, I generally sit with legs together, bent over to one side, and my skirt/dress lays on the floor, surrounding me with fabric to place over my legs. It makes me feel, well, more like a princess, more like a lady.

This is one reason why, I think, my daughter, though not even 2, prefers dresses and skirts. In the last week, I have included her in the dress dare, and I must say, getting dressed in the mornings is soooo much easier! She is so young, and yet, 99% of the time, when given the option of pants or a dress, she will choose the dress. When she puts it on, she will generally immediately grab the skirt, do a twirl, and ask for music to dance. This made me reflect more on how these articles of clothing differentiate us from men.

I noticed a few things. One, when going to a restroom, if one can't read the letters on the door, how do you know which restroom to go in? Well, the little stick figure for a woman, is clearly wearing a skirt! Second, it's prom season, and no teenage girl goes shopping for a prom tuxedo. She goes looking for a prom dress! Very few women walk down the aisle on their wedding day without a white dress cascading below them.

So I'll admit it, I feel prettier in a skirt/dress. This week, I never wondered if I was dressed appropriately for where I was going, because I looked, if anything, more presentable than normal. A few weeks ago, I was going to daily mass and afterwards, to the park for a picnic and playtime with Mina, and I felt so irreverent approaching Christ, truly present in the Eucharist in my jean bermuda shorts. This week, I had no such issues. Every day, I was prepared to attend mass, outwardly showing reverence for the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus Christ Himself. Of course I still believed in the true presence when in my shorts, but was a demonstrating this in the way I dressed? If I dress up for Sunday mass, shouldn't I do the same at daily mass? Christ is no less present on a weekday.

So those are just some of my thoughts from this last week. Have any of you noticed any differences or become more aware of anything in your first week?

P.S. Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there, and to Our Mother Mary!

Happy Mother's Day

"The eternal mystery of generation, which is in God himself, the one and Triune God (cf. Eph 3:14-15), is reflected in the woman's motherhood and in the man's fatherhood.  Human parenthood is something shared by both the man and the woman.  Even if the woman, out of love for her husband, says:  'I have given you a child,' her words also mean: 'This is our child.' Although both of them together are parents of their child, the woman's motherhood constitutes a special 'part' in this shared parenthood, and the most demanding part.  Parenthood- even though it belongs to both- is realized much more fully in the woman, especially in the prenatal period.  It is the woman who 'pays' directly for this shared generation, which literally absorbs her energies of her body and soul.  It is therefore that the man be fully aware that in their shared parenthood he owes a special debt to the woman.  No program of 'equal rights' between women and men is valid unless it takes this fact fully into account."

Mulieris Dignitatem, Pope John Paul II

Sarcasm oops

Forgive me because this post has nothing to do with our dress dare but is something I thought worth sharing. In the last week I accidentally hurt the feelings of two wonderful people through "innocent" joking. I used the dangerous humor of sarcasm. Did any of you know that the word sarcasm means to tear the flesh? Although it is at times funny I have learned the hard way that it can be damaging. Women are supposed to bring love into our world. We should be working to build people up and never tear them down even if we don't really mean to. I am making a commitment to stop using sarcasm. I honestly don't use it much but I am committing to not using it at all because I don't think it makes me more beautiful or feminine which is our goal here after all right?

Frustration

Ok ladies - so I guess I'll be the first to report.. I wore pants.

A couple of days into the Dare, I was getting ready to take my 16 month old on a plane trip down to visit my parents. By myself. All by myself. To some this might not be that daunting, but as a person who's never been super comfortable flying the friendly skies, and as a mama heading into her 2nd trimester with #2, this was stressful.

So, as I like to do before going on a plane trip (and even without a looming flight) I took my little one to morning Mass the day before the flight. What could prepare me more for a possible 3 hours of screaming than the Good God Himself, crucified and given to me, right?

To also help me prepare, I wore the skirt I planned to wear on the plane. Now, I hadn't worn this skirt since my last pregnancy, but thought it would be my best choice, so I pop it on, get the baby in the car and go.

Let's just say that it didn't go well. In fact, it was horrible. It was cold and raining. Someone had put a sign up that said "Mass not in Chapel today." So I trudge around, after going all around the church/school campus, I find that Mass was indeed in the chapel that day. So I'm late. And since Mass is well attended (yay!) there is only 1 seat left (boo). I sit in the pew where upon my little one starts to poke the old man next to her. Tell her to stop, she freaks out, I take her out. Realize skirt is falling off. Pull up skirt. Back in.

She decides to jump on the kneeler. Falls down. Freaks out. Can't calm her. Take her out. (On my way out, the priest puts something about unhappy children in his homily - which I don't hear totally because someone is screaming in my ear.) Pull up skirt. Back in. A lady has now moved so that I can be by the door. (Thanks!) Little one decides to run up the aisle, and to cry when the lady next to us looks at her. Freaks out multiple times, is taken out. Skirt fixed multiple times. Return multiple times. Think about leaving. Don't leave because I came here for Jesus, dang it, and I going to get Him if it kills me. Wait for noises of Communion time outside, listening at the door. Receive Him Who is Love. Entertain baby for next 2 minutes. Mass over. Almost cry when the priest asks her name.

Get in car. Cry for real as I realize: 1) Little one does not do well in tight spaces. 2) I do not do well in tight spaces. 3) Airplanes are tight spaces. 4) There is no where to take a baby "out" except for 30,000 feet below. 5) My skirt will not stay put. 6) No other skirt will work on a plane. 7) I will have to wear pants. 8) If I wear pants, I will have to say so on the blog and I'll feel like a Dress Dare failure.

Scary thing is that in that state, the thing that made me cry the most was that I would have to admit that I'd failed the Dress Dare - even though with my current wardrobe, I knew that pants were the most modest thing to wear. (Yes, I'm that prideful.) Wear pants on plane. Baby sleeps through half, only cries on descent. (Not bad!)

So, I'm sorry if this post isn't super uplifting. But it is real. And I think it was good for me to remember that Beauty through modest dress is what I am striving for and that skirts are how I am choosing to show that this month, and not skirts first (just to prove that I could) and modesty second. I still believe that skirts are beautiful and feminine and I will continue to strive to wear them for the rest of the month (except when going back home on the plane). However, skirts do not necessarily = modesty, and so I'll strive more to attain the virtue of Modesty than un-bifurcated bottoms.

And for all the girls that are trying this Dare and finding it hard, know that I've said a prayer for you especially tonight.

Thanks Moms!

I have one week left until I return home from my five-month "working holiday" in Australia.  My husband, bub (Aussie lingo for baby) and I have been living a beautiful city in the Southern part of the country.  One of the biggest adjustments for me during my time here has been getting used to city living.   Don't get me wrong, I love the trendy cafes, unique boutiques, being able to walk everywhere and the constant hustle and bustle around me.  In fact, it took me several weeks to put my finger on what was missing:  families.

It make sense;  you get married, have a baby and decide to move to the burbs for your house with a white picket fence.  We have all heard this story before.  I just never realized how much encouragement I was receiving at home, from the families, specifically the mothers around me.  I am a beginner when it comes to motherhood, and after a long morning of running errands with a cranky baby, I often make eye contact with another young mom at the check-out, and we smile at each other sympathetically.  It reminds me that I was not alone in this.

While the city is full of young women, many of them probably around my age, it is more difficult to make this connection.  I see them shopping, napping in the park, studying at the cafes, socializing in the bars.  We often exchange smiles, but it is obvious that we do not relate to each other.  All of this has caused me to reflect on the importance of having mommy friends to relate to.  For the past few months, I have been finding my daily encouragement through emails with friends, on facebook, or blogs like this one.  Knowing that Applejacs and her daughter are dealing with similar baby sleep issues gives me an opportunity to offer up my challenges and encourages me that I will eventually get through them.  I feel so grateful for these relationships!

Since Mother's Day is this weekend, I want to say Thank You to all mothers, grandmothers, godmothers, aunties and friends who support novices like me.  Your example gives us hope and inspiration.  Your prayers give us strength and encouragement.  Of course, I have to thank our ultimate model, the Mother of all humanity, the Mother of God.  Mary, you spent most of your life ordinary like us, by feeding your family, nursing your child's wounds, singing lullabies, playing games and caring for your home.  You teach us kindness, humility, service, grace and you give us your love.  Blessed Mother Teresa taught a beautiful and simple prayer:  "Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a Mother to me now".  Please continue to guide us on our journey of motherhood!

Happy Mother's Day to all!

Mary's Beauty

I too, was inspired by this discussion of beauty. I remembered one of my favorite parts of my favorite book, Bishop Fulton Sheen's "Three to Get Married," that I had to look up and share...

In his chapter on reverence for the body, Bishop Sheen discusses how the body is precious because of the preciousness of the soul within it. The body is holy because the soul is holy. He then goes on to describe Mary.

"Mary's beautiful purity must have been such that it attracted less the eyes than the souls of men. No one would have loved her mind or soul because of the beauty of her body, but they would have loved her beauty of soul as almost to forget she even had a body. It is very likely that a human eye, looking on Mary, would scarcely have been conscious that she was beautiful to the eye. Just as corrupt men are made pure in thought by the sight of an innocent child, so all fleshly thoughts would have been left behind by one vision of the Immaculate Mother. As one listens to a consummate artist playing the piano, one forgets that he has hands; so, in the ravishing melodies of Mary's Immaculateness, one would have hardly averted to that fleshly keyboard from which they came...

The cult of the body is best served by the cult of the soul. It is a by-product, not a goal; it is a fruit, not a root. That is why no one ever becomes truly beautiful until he stops trying to make himself beautiful and begins making himself good. Mary was not 'full of grace' because she was beautiful; she was beautiful because she was full of grace."

I could not have compared to the wisdom and beauty of the words of Bishop Fulton Sheen.

Making Connections

Dress Dare-ing it?

Chit chat about it on facebook.

Finding Beautiful

We have had several posts recently about being beautiful so I thought it was an appropriate time to reflect with you all about how I came to find true beauty...

When I was a little girl I was a ballerina. I dreamed of one day dancing professionally but when I was in high school puberty didn't treat me so well and in a very short period of time I went from a slender dancer to a chubby teenager. I ended up hurting my knee and used that as my excuse for never having a real dance career. I know it had more to do with my confidence and weight issues. I did not see myself as beautiful. I didn't get much male attention and because I wasn't confident in my looks I failed to see myself as beautiful.

After college I decided I wanted to loose some weight. I not only lost some weight, I lost a lot of weight. I started getting a lot of male attention which encouraged me in my weight loss. (as a side note, I have an amazing Father, so these issues do not always stem from dads) I thought this would make me feel beautiful but honestly it didn't.

Then, two years ago I went on a mission trip to Honduras. It was there that I finally saw what real beauty is. I saw people who the world would not call beautiful but who are the true definition of beautiful. The people I served had a beauty that radiated from the inside out. For the first time in my life I met beauty that felt real and unfading. It was a beauty like what I imagine for the Blessed Mother. After Mary appeared to Saint Bernadette people asked Bernadette to explain what she looked like. She could not describe what she looked like but kept saying that she was the most beautiful lady. Her beauty was not external. It came from the essence of who Mary is. This is the beauty that I was craving. That is the beauty that women are called to bring to this world. It is no wonder I wasn't finding it through all my efforts with my body.

Now I don't worry so much about my weight or if people think I am beautiful physically. Yes I take time to get dressed and not look run down but I know that if I really want to be beautiful I need to make my soul beautiful. My focus is on working towards the beauty that Bernadette saw in our Blessed Mother and the beauty we all saw in Mother Teresa.

So girls, know through the skirt dare that what will make you more beautiful this month is not just the skirts you wear but how you allow your soul to also be a reflection of Mary the true model of femininity. During this month of skirts allow your heart to be open to loving more like her and you will find in yourselves a lasting eternal beauty.

A compilation of thoughts....

First off, the post before mine "Dare to Be Beautiful," inspired my post, so please stop reading mine and refer to that one first... really stop reading mine - that one is SO amazing... ok now that you've read that one, welcome back to mine.

The Lord is so wonderful! Today I've been thinking all day about our blog and what I would write today. So many topics have run through my mind - here's how it went (PS I really hope you read the post before mine before you read my crazy thoughts) 1. Has everyone heard about the Duggars, I love them, but I especially love them since they got rid of their jumpers! 2. I could write more about money saving techniques. 3. I could post my grandmother's banana bread recipe that I'm using today for the first time... but then I sat down to write something and read the Dare to Be Beautiful post! THANK YOU to the mom who wrote that!

I never buy things for myself, as I am constantly worried about making sure I spend Phil's paycheck in the most thrifty way possible. He is always trying to get me to buy a sweater or some shoes, but I always head to the store and end up coming back with nothing - I'm always saying "we can't afford it." Today I saw a white purse at WalMart and I really wanted it - it was only $10. I contemplated for 30 minutes, walked outside, actually got in my car to leave and thought "hey I can treat myself to one thing!" I just got paid from an event I helped work, so I'll make sure to tithe some money, spend a little bit, and throw the rest in savings to pay my student loans. (student loans are a whole different blog- don't get me started) To my surprise I didn't feel guilty for buying the purse, instead I'm quite excited about my purchase. Then to my delight I read the Beauty blog! Now I could have spent my money on a dress and while the issue of practicality still remains, I AGREE women should remmeber how important it is to feel and look beautiful. Phil says he doesn't care what I wear, but I know it makes him proud when I look nice and dress more feminine. Yesterday I worked an enchilada dinner and got enchilada sauce all over my dress, but I felt good in a dress and I didn't just roll in jeans and a shirt ready to get dirty.

If our wardrobe needs a little updating and there's a few dollars left in the bank account, let's head to the thrift store, or Target, Kmart, Walmart, Old Navy, even a sale at a nice store... let's remind people you can be attractive and modest during our dress dare! People need to realize they can be feminine and fashionable! We don't all have to wear jumpers to be modest (PS there's nothing wrong if that's your preference!) So perhaps sometime soon I'll treat myself to a new dress and realize it's worth the money .... I'll try not to feel guilty :)

Dare to be beautiful!

A woman in my homeschool group sent this amazing email yesterday and she said it was ok for me to share it with all of you:

Why is it that, for the most part, people’s image of Catholic homeschooling moms is pretty much synonymous with “homely”? Don’t get me wrong – I know many very attractive, stylish, wonderful Catholic homeschooling moms; however, that’s not the dominant image of a Catholic mom, not the image we have chosen to put out there for ourselves. My point is that for some reason we feel like we are holier if we are homely. There – I said it. But I don’t believe this is True. We tend to feel guilty for spending time on our looks, spending money on our clothes, spending energy on exercising our bodies. We feel like we are taking precious resources away from our family. I believe, though, that if we took seriously God’s design for us as women, His desire for our hearts (and bodies!) we would be the hottest mamas on the block!

A family needs the beauty of the woman. I think so often what happens (whether intentional or just by default) is that a woman's beauty is sacrificed for the needs of the family: she gains weight in pregnancy and never loses it; she doesn't have time to spend on attending to her looks as she gets ready each day (heck - sometimes it seems she barely gets time to brush her teeth let alone perfect her make-up); she spends money on clothes for the kids as they quickly outgrow theirs rather than on clothes for herself; she misses out on "beauty rest" in looking after the night-time needs of babies and sick kids; she shuttles her kids to activities and sports and so doesn't have time for activities and exercise of her own...Add all this up and you get a haggard, worn-out, dull (rather than radiant), frumpy, stressed out, resentful wife and mother. Her beauty has been "martyred." But this is so backward! This is NOT holiness -- this is NOT what God intended for woman and her beauty!!
-A husband needs his wife's beauty: he needs to feel proud to have her by his side knowing other men see her beauty and acknowledge she is his; he needs her beauty to call forth is strength, to call him to rise up and work hard to be more than he thinks he can be; he needs her beauty to rouse his desire to protect and fight for his family in the daily battles...
-A boy needs his mom's beauty: he needs to see his mom as the queen of her domain (the household) so that he can recognize his call to knighthood; he needs to learn that beauty is essential to woman and a key way woman differs from man; he needs to see how his dad responds authentically to his mom's beauty in order to learn to do so himself; he needs to see her beauty so he doesn't go off looking for beauty elsewhere before he's ready to battle for and win a beauty for himself...
-A girl needs her mom's beauty: she needs to learn how to be the beauty herself from one who's beauty she recognizes and admires; she needs to see the power and dignity of beauty and how it is authentically used / lived out (if beauty is one of woman's key "weapons," a girl needs to be initiated and trained in the authentic and proper care and use of this weapon / tool); she needs beauty to aspire to, to call her forth to rise up and embrace her own beauty; she needs to see beauty courageous lived to give her courage to live out her beauty in a world that can be hostile to authentic beauty; she needs to see how her dad responds to her mom's beauty, how her mom's beauty calls forth her dad's authentic expression and exercise of strength so that she can hold this up as the standard for how men should respond to her beauty...
A woman's beauty needs to be offered up for her family, NOT sacrificed and "martyred" for her family. It needs to be lived and used for her family's glory and glorification, not used up for them to live in comfort.

This is not said to make you feel guilty or to heap another demand upon you; this is to give you permission to be the beauty you long to be! This doesn’t mean that we ought to spend hours on our appearance and neglect our families. No, we’re not called to look like Victoria Secret runway models. We don’t necessarily need to wear make-up, shop the latest styles, and make daily pilgrimages to the gym. What this means is that first we must acknowledge that WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. We as women are the clearest, truest reflection on this earth of God’s beauty. That is a real responsibility that we must take seriously – and yet a tremendous honor that we should delight in. We should take joy in being the beauty, in embracing our femininity. We do ourselves, our families, indeed the world a disservice if we hide our beauty. You are beautiful – don’t hide that under a bushel basket – let your light, your beauty shine!

-Mary K.